How to reinvent yourself when your only a child.
 

My 7th grade son has gone from a child who has played soccer in AYSO for 5 years, and been in baseball, basketball, etc yearly. Now after 4 concussions--no more contact sports including also baseball and basketball due to risk of injury. He feels at a loss. What does he do now? We are trying to get him in things like golf and rowing. It is difficult. He still can't walk by people playing soccer without going into an anxiety feeling that almost freezes him.
Life has been turned upside down. While I know that there are many things he can do, he just can't let go of his loss. Any suggestions? How do I get him to be willing to try new things that are within his activity limits and feel positive about trying new things instead of feeling like he has to settle to do something else?

I think he first has to mourn his loss. He also needs to see and accept the risk of those other sports. He likely has not accepted that for him, the risk of play is just too high. He likely thinks others who are restricting him are the problem, not his own concussion history.

He may also be missing the adrenaline/dopamine high. Finding an activity that can induce that response would be good.

The fact that he is so affected by the stress of seeing a soccer game suggests that his brain is still struggling with stress being a big trigger. This shows the effect another concussion could have. It sounds like this may be part of a personality change like I went through. The injured party does not realize their personality has changed. It is tough. They react differently. They have less tolerance for conflict.

I wonder if it would help for him to spend some time with a counselor to help him learn to better tolerate these issues ?

Is there a neuro-rehab clinic hospital nearby that may have such a trained counselor ? I know that they exist to help people who have lost functions. That grieving process can be difficult.

I wonder if UPMC Concussion clinic could help you with a phone consult ?
http://www.upmc.com/Services/sports-...s/experts.aspx

I know the struggle you are dealing with because I lived it. But, I was fighting a concussion caused seizure disorder and on meds for it so I was more self-protective about staying away from risk. But, it can be miserable.

My best to you.

Swimming, cross country, track and field, tennis. There is a gym in our town that has rock climbing (everyone is tied in with ropes so that they won't fall.) If you are by the beach, sometimes the city or state will have a junior guard program in the summer. School mountain biking teams.

I couldn't run after my injury after 40 years of doing such. I discovered swimming, it definitely wasn't something I looked forward to each day like I had running....but now I love it.

Life in someways is much like a candy store and so is sports, more to choose from than a lifetime can accomplish at the skill level some of us desire.

I would hazard a guess that your son has a competitive spirit in him and there are many ways to express and satisfy it as well as challenging his physical skills. I think I would try to point this out to him....what he misses is competition and learning/training his mind and body to accomplish.

There is a huge candy store out there to satisfy that and soccer is but only one of many outlets for his nature.

Bud

Is he still friends with some of his team mates?
The loss of being part of a team or his team, might be a part of the issue.

If he is physically up to it, I'd suggest he go watch some of the other sports listed that are less contact prone.
You are often still on a team, but the events/competitions are less risky, one on one or timed.
Even archery, bowling, target shooting...
might need to search up a list of teams/clubs in your city and see what appeals/fits..