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Make em Laugh!
Somewhere in the forum a Joke thread was started and not boosted up enough.
So, after having a really bad night, not being able to go for my much anticipated morning walk, worrying my poor mom. I need a boost! So please enjoy and participate. So steal, cheat, make up a joke..just Post! Less moaning and groaning- more giggling and laughing..smiles allowed too Shall we begin?:trampoline: Murphy's Lesser Known Laws Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. |
Practice Safe Fax
Q. Do I have to be married to have safe fax?
A. Although married people fax often, there are many single people who fax complete strangers every day. Q. How do I go about faxing a complete stranger? A. Just ask them if they want to fax. If they do, they will give you their phone number. Q. My parents say they never had fax when they were young, and were only allowed to write memo's to each other until they were 21. How old do you think someone should be before they can fax? A. Faxing can be performed at any age once you learn the correct procedure. Q. If I fax something to myself will I go blind? A. Certainly not. As far as we can see. http://www.en.kolobok.us/smiles/standart/mosking.gif |
Doctor Doctor
A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"
The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain." "I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks. "Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..." "Like this?" "A little more..." "Like this?" "No. A little more..." "Like this?" "Yes. Does that hurt?" "A little bit." "Now stretch it over your head!"http://www.en.kolobok.us/smiles/standart/yahoo.gif |
A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse.
"Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says. The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday. "I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband."http://www.en.kolobok.us/smiles/standart/whistle.gif |
Thanks for the giggles, MMW..:D:D
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
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While attending a convention, three psychiatrists take a
walk. "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears," one says, "but we have no one to go to with our own problems." "Since we're all professionals," another suggests, "why don't we hear each other out right now?" They agreed this is a good idea. The first psychiatrist confesses, "I'm a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I usually overbill my patients as often as I can." The second admits, "I have a drug problem that's out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me." The third psychiatrist says, "I know it's wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep a secret."http://www.en.kolobok.us/smiles/light_skin/dance2.gif |
Actual Classified Ads
http://www.en.kolobok.us/smiles/arti...e_mykilroy.gif
Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale 3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex. |
Taking a break
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Those are awesome!! I can never remember any jokes unless I write them down...if I think of any I'll be back!
Thanks for the laughs...I have to show this to DH!:D |
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