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-   -   Very Lonely. (https://www.neurotalk.org/general-mental-health-and-emotional-support/193795-lonely.html)

Laura13 09-06-2013 02:49 PM

Very Lonely.
 
I don't really even know how to go about this... I guess I'll jump right in.

I'm 28, have only a couple of friends. I don't really to get to see any of them in person anymore since my boyfriend and I had to move to a different city.

I'm Schizoaffective (on meds) and have back problems (2 surgeries so far), so it's really hard for me to get out of the house and meet new people. I love my boyfriend, but he's really busy with his new degree work, so I've got a lot of time to get through by myself. Not that I resent him, he's doing really well, and we do hang out.

I don't know... I'm just kind of lonely and don't know what to do. It seems like all my friends have lives, and I don't.

Thanks for reading, and if you have any advice, please feel free to give!

ginnie 09-06-2013 06:26 PM

Hi Laura
 
Hello, and welcome to Neuro Talk. You won't be lonely here. I complained to my son about that, being lonely. Sometimes you can be in a room of people and still be lonely. He had me look up a phrase, "The human Condition" it mentions being lonely. Even in a relationship this can happen. I think when there is a hole someplace inside, you need to fill it with something good. Acknowledge it, and get busy doing something that pleases you. A book, a movie, smelling flowers. Today I watched a seagull dive 7 times before he got the fish. I had trouble walking today, and I was lonely too. Just watching that bird go for it, brought a sense of peace. Sometimes small things work. Mostly I think it is about finding a purpose, outside of a relationship. Then when you have time for your boyfriend, you will feel even better. Keep coming back here laura, talk and get to know people. You will find some might fine folks here at Neuro talk. All of us have issues, and it gets to be a family. I even met the son of a friend I met here. He is giving me PC lessons....how about that for a small world.....He lives not 10 minutes from me. Yep this old goat is trying to learn the PC. Better late then never.
I am glad to meet you Laura, know that all of us are connected in some way. We all feels times when we are lonely. fill it up, find something small that is good. ginnie:grouphug::circlelove::Popcorn::smileypray:: Heart::sunchair::Music 2::rm_milk:

Rrae 09-06-2013 06:40 PM

Hi Laura
 
Nice to meet you :hug:

You've sure come to a great place for friendly support and understanding.
I too suffer chronic pain (like so many here at NT) and depression sets in, and the two just seem to constantly feed off of each other.

I can certainly understand what you are saying, especially since you've had to relocate. Please feel 'at home' here. This is such a nice place to be able to come to. The atmosphere is very down-to-earth and a person can feel 'safe'.
Are you able to have pets where you live? They can be great companions. Don't know what I'd do without my boxer. She's on my profile page :).
Always by my side and she seems to know whenever I'm feeling down.

You've got youth on your side :icecream: ..... don't ya just hate it when people say that?! :rolleyes:What I mean is, even tho you are where you are at at this point in time, you've still got many chapters yet to unfold and opportunities that will come your way. Try not to see yourself as in a 'rut'.

There WILL come times when you'll find yourself getting to know someone, even just a neighbor or perhaps you'll feel inclinded to check out a support group or some type of activity, despite the fact that your back is keeping you from being as active as you'd like to be. Where there is a will, there's a way yes?

Anyway, it's nice to have you here. Feel free to look thru the other forums and post anywhere you'd like. This is also a great place even just to 'vent'. We all do from time to time :D.

Caring,
Rae
:grouphug:

Vowel Lady 09-12-2013 11:04 AM

Well, as corny as this may sound, now that I don't have youth on my side, I REALLY appreciate the value of youth. Honestly, it is something.

But, no doubt, moving to a new city is hard. It's exciting, YET, the loss of friends and the comforts of familiarity is very hard. Plus, your boyfriend is busy with something new and exciting.

What might help is if you can get busy with something new and exciting.

This way, you can meet new people and be preoccupied. The time will fly by.

Since you have some health concerns, you might have to be careful with what you chose to do....but with some thought, no doubt you can find something fun and interesting.

Perhaps take a course at the community college, some volunteer work, a gentle exercise class, etc.

I'm taking a class at my community college right now and honestly, it is very tiring for me. HOWEVER, I am enjoying it VERY MUCH. It is worth taking a big nap afterwards to be able to learn something new and meet new people.

Sometimes it is a big push to try something new, but if you don't take that first step and push yourself...you just wont know. Keep trying.

Wishing you well.

summerjc07 07-31-2014 06:16 AM

I can relate to you so much. I am a stay at home mom and I have not had a running car in many months. It is starting to affect how I feel even though I have a great relationship with my hubby etc... And I have two goofy kids to keep me company all day.
So what I have done recently is got on facebook and met another mom in my neighborhood who is very social. lol. Not my typical type of friend but it has been so helpful. She actually likes to come over and hang out with her son and we have started going to church together because we both felt weird about going alone. If she wants to come pick me up to hang out I say yes even if I don't want to.
HUGS!!! It is easy to get into a lonely depressed mood if you are isolated. Reach out to family even if you feel like they wont want to hang out. Start talking about the lonely feelings. :)
I know this probably sounds upbeat but I really really have a hard time with being lonely it feels awful. I have started to feel uneducated and undeserving but I realized there are small things I can do about it. I bought some books to read for fun (divergent series) Great books!!! I am looking into starting some online classes and telling myself I am the only thing in my way from self improvement. It is hard to make myself be active or be social but it is getting easier.
I am on here a lot lately because I had a brain MRI that is suggesting MS. so I am trying to keep busy. lol
:hug:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laura13 (Post 1012813)
I don't really even know how to go about this... I guess I'll jump right in.

I'm 28, have only a couple of friends. I don't really to get to see any of them in person anymore since my boyfriend and I had to move to a different city.

I'm Schizoaffective (on meds) and have back problems (2 surgeries so far), so it's really hard for me to get out of the house and meet new people. I love my boyfriend, but he's really busy with his new degree work, so I've got a lot of time to get through by myself. Not that I resent him, he's doing really well, and we do hang out.

I don't know... I'm just kind of lonely and don't know what to do. It seems like all my friends have lives, and I don't.

Thanks for reading, and if you have any advice, please feel free to give!



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