Looking for words of wisdom
 

Hi, friends. I just discovered this site, and would like to ask if anybody has an insight about my situation.

I have a 24-year-old son who has never shown signs of illness before. He is a graduate student and has done very well in school. Last spring he had some disappointments -- funding for his projects were cut, leaving him without work or direction -- and in July he had a sudden breakdown: paranoia, insomnia, and, after days without sleep, some psychosis.

We finally took him to the hospital, where he was kept for a week in the psych ward. We didn't get a clear diagnosis, but bipolar was suggested, and he himself thought that might fit.

He was released with the understanding that he'd be under the care of both a therapist and a psychiatrist. I have just learned that he is no longer seeing either of them. More alarming, he has told me he's taking Abilify over-the-counter, which I believe is not possible.

He seems fine. But he seemed fine before. He's an adult, and has been happily and successfully independent until now. I have no reason to think he's in trouble... but that lie is scary. I'm reluctant to confront him... and I'm reluctant not to, you know?

What do you think?

Dear Bessie,

Contact www.nami.org
They have a lot of support for family members.


If you've been able to talk to him in the past, you can talk to him now.
You can have a conversation without being confrontational.

Do you have reason to be afraid to talk to him?

M.

Thanks so much!
 

If you've been able to talk to him in the past, you can talk to him now.
You can have a conversation without being confrontational.

Do you have reason to be afraid to talk to him?

M.[/QUOTE]

Thank you, Mari. That's very helpful. He's a real private guy, and he hasn't welcomed conversation with me on this topic in recent months. I'm reluctant to talk to him about it because he gets kind of irritable and shuts down; I'm sure he perceives it as prying... and now that I realize he lied about the meds, he's bound to be defensive, so it's hard to imagine the conversation going smoothly. But no, I can't say I have "reason to be afraid." I think you're right. I'll give it a try. And I'll look into NAMI, too.

I'm very grateful for your compassionate answer. I really needed somebody to tell this to tonight, and you gave me words of wisdom indeed. Thank you.

Thank you, Mari. That's very helpful. He's a real private guy, and he hasn't welcomed conversation with me on this topic in recent months. I'm reluctant to talk to him about it because he gets kind of irritable and shuts down; I'm sure he perceives it as prying... and now that I realize he lied about the meds, he's bound to be defensive, so it's hard to imagine the conversation going smoothly. But no, I can't say I have "reason to be afraid." I think you're right. I'll give it a try. And I'll look into NAMI, too.

I'm very grateful for your compassionate answer. I really needed somebody to tell this to tonight, and you gave me words of wisdom indeed. Thank you.[/QUOTE]



Bessie

Maybe instead of confronting him, you could just let him know that you realize abilify is not over the counter. But whatever he is taking that is like this must be working good. And your glad. But that if he needs to talk to someone to let you know.

I have a grown child with problems too, its not easy.

Donna