The Dividing Line
A suicide can signal a new feeling of marking time. There is the "before" and the "after". Survivors report plodding through the moments, minutes, hours after discovering or hearing of the death. They liken it to being in a daze, wading through wet cement or possiby the complete loss of feeling.
Some of these feelings help us to survive the trauma. Whatever form the initial reactions take, the future marking of time can be altered by the suicide. We read of being able to measure our progress of recovery by increasing the length of time in which we can function. Everyone wants to know when it will be "over". Our existence is minute to minute, then hour to hour, day to day, month to month. Eventually we can distance ourselves by a full year. This is a point of relief for many. It is a point of frustration for others. It is hoped (and often expected) that a year would suffice as the healing period. Since we have gone through all things "once", perhaps grieving will be over and life can go on. The frustration is the realization that the process continues. The Dividing Line Reflections on Living Beyond Suicide Loss by Jeanne Moren (Adams) from the chapter, Twenty-Three and Counting |
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