NeuroTalk Support Groups

NeuroTalk Support Groups (https://www.neurotalk.org/)

- Survivors of Suicide (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/)

- - Don't know (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/24052-dont.html)

I can't even get my feelings to come out and I hate myself for it. :(

Do not worry about how it "sounds"...just express it! No one here will judge youi....please know that it's ok....:hug:
"

Hi BJ,
I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely today. It's difficult for many of us to get our feelings out. Don't hate yourself for finding it hard, 'cause we don't think badly of you. :hug:

I just had a look at your cat sites again. I found them really informative. I think I'd read them before, but quite a long time ago.

Take care of yourself, BJ. When you're up to it your feelings will pour out. In the meantime just take it easy there. Sometimes it's just one hour at a time or one day at a time.

Woke up with you on my mind BJ. Please know how many of us care and please just take one hour at a time. :hug:

bizi went back to Indy yesterday but will be here again, with both of her sisters on Saturday for a family picnic at my neices house. Your ears should be burning cause we talked about you. :D

Hi BJ,

Try to be kind and gentle with yourself. Dealing with feelings can be very difficult.

Do something nice for yourself today. :hug:

Hi BJ :hug:

As the song goes, to everything there is a season. It's not necessary to force your feelings out, and it's not helpful to hate yourself for not performing on command. You don't have to perform for us. We know what it feels like to have scrambled thoughts.

Give yourself some time to relax and let it flow. It might give your brain the time it needs to round up the feelings that need to be expressed through your fingers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Me BP? (Post 125538)

I can't even get my feelings to come out and I hate myself for it. :(

((((((BJ)))))),

Don't hate yourself because you don't want to look at your feelings. That is *NOT* a character flaw. It's ... I was going to say "normal", but what the heck is that?? ... it's just everybody else feels, afraid.

Sometimes, sitting in a real quiet space ... and breathing real slow, and real deep ... will get the tears (and everything else) flowing. We tend to hold our breath when we're trying to control ourselves.

Oh, I found a message that I wrote to you and never posted. My computer must have crashed and I forgot what I was doing (AKA "senior moment") :p It looks like I wrote it on May 27th. I guess I need to see what else is hiding on my computer :o

Quote:

((((((BJ)))))),

http://chocolate-moose.p5.org.uk/MIN...bears-mini.gif

You don't need to be forgiven for anything. It WAS NOT your fault.

You've got to remember, BJ, I've been on this journey many-many more years than you.

I attempted suicide 7 times. Into the psychiatric hospital twice. The first time that I went to the hospital, it had just been opened. There was only 10 patients and probably just as many staff members.

I woke up one night crying my eyes out. Went into the quiet room with one of the therapists. We sat on the floor on big pillows and he taught me how to breathe. I cried and cried. He said something to me that you need to hear too: "it was not your fault". I hope you can hear those words echoing down through the years to you.

Older sisters are not responsible for younger brothers. That's the parents' job. For some reason because of the closeness in years and because of the love that we had for our brothers, we felt like they were ours to take care of. That's not the responsibility of a child.

You know something, BJ, our reactions and love for our brothers shows that we were both blessed with amazing brothers. And we both have the capacity for incredible love.

What worked for me was learning all I could about suicide. So that I could understand WHY. And so that I would never-ever again take the same steps.

It took me a long time. And a lot of hard work. My brother came to me in a dream one night and told me I had to let him go.

You don't have to punish yourself anymore for things that you did not know or did not do when you were a child. Children don't have the knowledge or the skill or even the responsibility...

Read Rabbi Earl A. Grollman's books. He's an incredible man who's spent his whole life studying losses -- of every kind.

There are a lot of us who have the same pain in our hearts. Hold on tight:
http://chocolate-moose.p5.org.uk/MIN...s-together.jpg

BIG HUGS.

Barb

Hugs (and blessings).

Barb

I'm a failure. I'm weak in mind and spirit and if my mom could see me now she's probably turning over in her grave. I just need her to say BJ it will be okay.

I've been sitting in my yard all day even though there's 95% humidity. I took this pic of my Rose of Sharon. My mom and I planted this and she wanted me to have it. I won't go into the religious part of it but it means beautiful woman. I'm not feeling very beautiful right now.

http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t...Summer0017.jpg

:hug: BJ

you are a very precious and caring person .....and you so often encourage and inspire me so much with those special posts you make on the Sanctuary

I just wanted to let you know that you have been a real blessing to me and I know to so many others here too
:grouphug:
Cheri

ps your beautiful Rose of Sharon has blessed me too

(((BJ))) it will be okay.

My Rose of Sharon just started blooming as well.

:hug: