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-   -   New to this, so scared. (https://www.neurotalk.org/anxiety-and-ocd/109938-scared.html)

Dooms 12-08-2009 02:55 PM

New to this, so scared.
 
Hello all,
Thanks for setting up such a friendly looking community. Really happy to hopefully find someone to talk to... I can return the favor in kind at some point. I'm an English guy in his mid 20's, making his way in Texas as best he can. I'm easy going and sensible... at least when it comes to other people's problems ;)

So things in my life kind of came to a head, and I finally saw a Doctor about the problems I have been having. A huge step for me. It turns out I have clinical depression, serious anxiety, and OCD. oof. This isn't a huge surprise to me, but it is still really scary to have it laid out like that. Doc wrote me a scrip for Paxil. I've never taken any medication that affects brain chemistry... and honestly the thought is pretty terrifying (anxious much? :rolleyes:). I'd love to hear from anyone about their experiences with taking this kind of medication, especially starting out... should I be staying home at first until I know how I react to it? How do I know if it's working? Do you still feel like "you"? etc.

My anxiety is, at this moment, about the worst it has ever been. It is all I can do not to get up from my desk and run for the parking lot, leaving bemused coworkers in my wake. I know little to nothing about the above mentioned conditions. How do I tell my family and friends without them thinking I am crazy? =/

I really need advice... I'm freaking out, trouble breathing... I wasn't this way 2 months ago... In college I witnessed a very good friend completely break with reality and have to be committed. I missed my graduation because I was talking her down from a ledge, all in my cap and gown. It affected me deeply. I am terrified that I am losing my sanity and that the Paxil will strip away what remains. Without "me", what am I?

Brokenfriend 12-09-2009 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dooms (Post 597770)
Hello all,
Thanks for setting up such a friendly looking community. Really happy to hopefully find someone to talk to... I can return the favor in kind at some point. I'm an English guy in his mid 20's, making his way in Texas as best he can. I'm easy going and sensible... at least when it comes to other people's problems ;)

So things in my life kind of came to a head, and I finally saw a Doctor about the problems I have been having. A huge step for me. It turns out I have clinical depression, serious anxiety, and OCD. oof. This isn't a huge surprise to me, but it is still really scary to have it laid out like that. Doc wrote me a scrip for Paxil. I've never taken any medication that affects brain chemistry... and honestly the thought is pretty terrifying (anxious much? :rolleyes:). I'd love to hear from anyone about their experiences with taking this kind of medication, especially starting out... should I be staying home at first until I know how I react to it? How do I know if it's working? Do you still feel like "you"? etc.

My anxiety is, at this moment, about the worst it has ever been. It is all I can do not to get up from my desk and run for the parking lot, leaving bemused coworkers in my wake. I know little to nothing about the above mentioned conditions. How do I tell my family and friends without them thinking I am crazy? =/

I really need advice... I'm freaking out, trouble breathing... I wasn't this way 2 months ago... In college I witnessed a very good friend completely break with reality and have to be committed. I missed my graduation because I was talking her down from a ledge, all in my cap and gown. It affected me deeply. I am terrified that I am losing my sanity and that the Paxil will strip away what remains. Without "me", what am I?

I understand very much what you are saying. Welcome to neurotalk,and I believe that this forum will be a helpful home for you.

I don't know where to begin. I've had acute anxiety for years. I've had OCD since I was about 6. I started having panic attacks when I was a teenager.

I'm on several medicines that are helping me. It sounds like your doctor has you on a antidepressant,but you really need to be on anti-anxiety medication I believe.

I'm sorry that you are having a difficult time. The Bipolar Disorder forum can be more helpful for you,because people talk on there daily. So this forum,and the Bipolar Disorder forum should be helpful.

Welcome to Neurotalk. You have found a good place for help. Brokenfriend

Mari 12-10-2009 09:20 AM

Hi,
If you are worried about the Paxil, you can take it on the weekend for two days when you are not at work.
Usually it takes about 4 weeks for these meds to help us.

In the beginning you might feel some side effects. Most of the time, they settle down as you wait for the benefits of the drug to "kick in."

Make sure you call the psychiatrist back if you have any concerns or questions. People who do well and get better stay in close contact with the psychiatrist.

Mari

Samantha11 07-26-2012 02:19 PM

You are still you
 
Before 6 weeks ago, I'd never taken a psych med, anti-depressant, sleep med, whatever. Ever. I was scared ******** about taking a simple anti-depressant, afraid that I would become a vegetable who doesn't feel, that is just flat and moving through life with no interest, and if there was, it would all be fake.
What I have discovered, however (meds are still adjusting) is that the me I was before this traumatic event doesn't exist anymore anyway. What I'm finding is that these meds are only for a time, and that they are helping me get out of the house, intract the cashier at the grocery store without wanting to **** my pants and RUN, and I am noticing little glimpses in my day that feel good-even if it's just fleeting.
I still struggle with anxiety and depression and panic d/o, but I am able to handle situations with a little less of those feelings. I am also able better to cope with my reactions to things this way.

My dream world has changed (if you're a dream, you'll notice) and I do sometimes feel...artificially viewing the world, but honestly, I stand by the hope that this won't last forever, and someday I'll be able to do the things I used to.
My anxiety and panic is mostly PTSD I think from 6 weeks ago. Before that I was sleeping, drinking, or laying in bed if I wasn't working. That life, obviously wasn't working for me, so why would I want to go back to it anyway? And this life is temporary, I know I will become my authentic self who is better able to manage her life and find joy in every day.
Right now, joy is not in the cards right now; but taking my meds (no matter how badly I don't want to) and trusting them to do their work while I do mine, is.

Hang in. We share similar ideas, so if you want to talk more, let's.

~Samantha

Spiney95 08-01-2012 03:10 PM

My younger daughter has had OCD/anxiety disorder since she was in elementary school. The early years were a disaster as she refused to take her meds. When she finally reached college, things weren't going well at all and started taking her antiaxiety meds in order to go to school. Things started turning around quickly. Within a few months, she only took her meds durring the week and took a med holiday on the weekend unless she had a big paper or important test on Monday. This was per the doctor's instructions. She made it through school and now has a husband, two little boys and a very responsible job. She keeps a bottle of anti anxiety meds on hand for the times when everything piles up on her and she feels an attack coming on. This is very seldom. Best wishes.


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