My worst nightmare
 

For those that don't know me I suffered a mTBI in 2013. I am married with 2 small kids. I have suffered from PCS since, am on disability and rely on my husband to do 80% of the daily tasks.

Well last week my worst nightmare just came true... my husband was just diagnosed with lung cancer and it looks like it has already metastasized to his liver, spine and brain.

I am terrified about the prospect of losing him, and being alone, and having to raise our kids alone, and take care of everything on my own. But most important, I am terrified of not being able to take care of him through this battle.

KOM,

I am so sorry to hear about your hubby's diagnosis. I know the struggles you are having. The anxiety is doubly hard with PCS. It will be helpful to learn to not feel guilty when asking for help. People want to help.

Try to put together an organizational chart of the various needs your family has. Some of those tasks you may think you can do yourself but if someone else does them, they free you up for other needs. Then, if somebody asks, "What can I do to help ?" You can respond with a specific task. "I haven't had a chance to clean the bathrooms in too long, Could you just do that for me ?" Or, picking up groceries or doing some ironing. You will hopefully be surprised with the 'almost strangers' who offer to help. By having specific tasks rather than vague needs, people can be very effective. A closed Facebook page can be useful. Your friends can help you build a network of allowed Facebook friends that you approve. You don't need or want everybody knowing about your needs.

If you can get a large number of people, each doing a small task, you can keep this moving forward. Being prepared for the extra strain when your hubby has chemo or other treatments by having help at the ready will be good.

I wish you the best as you struggle through this. My heart goes out to you and your family.

KOM,

Deep sympathies...I will be praying for you all.

Bud

I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I wish there was something I could say or do. I'm thinking of you and you family and praying lots for your husband and your recovery.


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I'm truly sorry and wish you the best. Please take care.

Thank you very much everyone, I'm just so numb and fighting to take it one day at a time.

Some times, we can only make it hour by hour. But, hour by hour works. Living with a 'What needs to get done this hour ? goal' without focusing on the next hour may be all you can do. That is OK. Prayer helps, too.

Mark is quite right. Sometimes I even go 10 minutes at a time. But one day at a time seems to be the winner in the long term.

I am so sorry for your sad news. I think Mark has the best suggestion. People you know, friends, family will all want to help you and not know how. Ask.
It will help them by you allowing them to help you.

I am so sorry to read your news. Sending prayers and wishing you all much courage. Hour by hour. And love each other every minute. Strength to you.