When Do You Know....
 

When do you know it's time to stop working?

I like my job. But it's customer-oriented, and my cog issues have been getting very noticable and has caused a few problems for our office.

My boss has been awesome about providing accomedation for me.:) She doesn't fall under ADA since there's less than 15. She even went with me dropping to part time and hiring someone to fill in the remaining hours.

A part of me wants to stick it out to see if stuff calms down. Another part of me is worried since the MS hasn't calmed down for two years.

I have to admit I'm scared that I'm even thinking of leaving the workforce, but I'm not sure if this is the right time or not. I guess I'm just confused on where to go from here.

It's hard to be sure, Fin. When I quit, it was a decision I did not make lightly. Then, when I felt better and began a new career, I could not get insured. So, I did some contract consulting for a few years. When I saw how fast I've been going downhill a few years ago, I reordered my priorities to do everything I've ever even thought of doing. I'm almost finished and have never once regretted that decision.

When I really think about it, the things I miss most about working are the people whose intelligence I deeply admired, walking around downtown wearing tennis shoes with a skirt suit, the lunches with colleagues, and communicating with officers of major corporations.

Mostly, I miss the kicks I used to get from doing those things. Now I get my kicks in other ways.:)

huge decision, and I debated it (internally) for over a year.

then, the decision was made FOR me, by a massive flare that left me unable to walk or drive.

my main fear was as a single mom of three youngsters, I had to have a "revenue stream" and was petrified of the lag-time for the start of SSDI.

I had no medical insurance at work, so part of the "pro" side of my internal debate was that going on SSDI would get me Medicare.

"con" side was the kid's school tuition, and lots of bills to pay.

"pro" - I could take desperately needed naps, and not be literally *crawling* into the house after work.

"con" - I would miss adult interaction, personal satisfaction at work well done, praise from colleagues, and intellectual stimulus.

"pro" - I would have energy to care for my children!

it all worked out, as I got STATE disability insurance (California) and that tided me over until the SSDI kicked in.

a few times since then, I've actually felt physically well enough to work fulltime (for a short while) but then I remembered the cogfog... and the errors I was making.

like locking myself out of my car three times in one day, forgetting customers' names, and stuff... so I am glad I'm no longer working.

I went out on disability last May. I decided it was time to go when I was out of work more than I was there and the other people in my dept where having to pick up the slack. Plus when I was there I was making a lot of mistakes between cog fog and my vision. My boss was making things increasingly difficult on me on top of that.

It isn't easy being out of work. Financially I am ok, I had private disability insurance and I'm actually bringing home about the same (no 401k, stock options, saving gas money etc) Mentally I would like to be working, I'm going a little stir crazy but I'm almost constantly having problems.

It isn't an easy decision to make, good luck.

I remember wrestling with this dilema all too well, and finally I went off on short, then long-term disability while I tried to make the decision. One month led to another, and eventually I realized I wasn't going back.

My employer had accommodated me more then I ever expected, or felt was fair to them. They let me work from home, they reduced my responsibility so that I had virtually no deadlines, and they paid my full wages throughout all the ups and downs. I was not pulling my weight, and was feeling terribly guilty about that.

I asked on a forum, "when is enuff, enough?", and there was one piece of advice that someone gave that finally tipped the scales for me me. She said "when the MS becomes a full-time job". It had; I was living to squeeze in as many hours as possible, was stressed to the max, and I was getting sicker by the month.

It was the best move I could have made for myself.

Good luck in your decision,

Cherie

I worked for many years as a manager for the physical plant dept. for the dept of Corrections and farmed as well.

When the inmates noticed that I had a lot of trouble walking I knew it was time to go.

I fell in the dairy barn milking shortly after and couldn't get up. My youngest kid came out to see why the animals were bellowing and none were coming out of the barn.

I finally realised that MAYBE it was time to admit it was impossible to carry on with my life as it was.

I am battling with this issue right now and still hanging on for dear life.

I wish you all the best with this very big decision !!!

CayoKay - I was reading your comments - how do you
live in Belize and get disability from California - I'm sure there is a story here but I don't know what your situation is or how you ended up in Belize. I hear that is a BEAUTIFUL place to be !!!

Gary - I love your signature !!!

Ditto for me Kayo. I went through the same thing only I wasn't diagnosed. In August 2005 I had my 1st document exacerbation. It took me a few months to recup and walk again without falling. Then I was hit with exacerbation #2 in Jan '06 and so my cycle of MS began with a fury and finally settled down this past summer. I still have trouble and those days remind me why I can't go back in the workforce.

It is a tough decision. However, MS made the decision for me by crash landing in my brain. LOL.

Have you made a list of all the pros and cons as well as what some of your limitations are in respect to your job? This might help you sort it out.

Hang in there Fin. What ever you decide I support you 100%.

Oh, unless it's illegal and can get you in serious trouble.

storytime!

I lived and worked in Calif for nearly 30 years.

many years ago... I had fallen in love with Belize after visiting the tiny country, and seeing the low cost of land and building... an idea began to form in my brain to create a farm, and try to live simply and sustainably, and raise all my own food.

during my last remission (before dx of SPMS) and with my kids off to college, bangin' around in a big ol' house in Calif, mightily dismayed by the direction of the US, I put my home on the market, held yard sales, and donated stuff to the women's shelter, until I had only a few necessities left...

then, I packed six very large bags, hopped on a plane, and returned to Belize, to live in a rental shack... after a year, my husband followed me here (he had to finish up work obligations)

that year was a "trial period" to see if I could HACK the climate and the denizens of the rainforest.... which I could, with a generator (frequent power failures) to run the fans, and butane appliances (hey I didn't even KNOW they made fridges that run on gas!)

I've been here over 3 years now, and doing very well...

ooops, sorry Finny, didn't mean to hijack your thread!

we now return you to your regularly scheduled When do you know it's time to stop working?

:D:cool::D