the therapist is working out
 

I didn;t realize what damage my mother did to me and why i am a perfectionist.

I remember some of the things you have told us about your mother and Myra. I'm sure there's A LOT we don't know, but from what you have told us, I'm sure the trauma runs deep :hug::hug::hug:

I'm glad that the therapist is working out :hug:

Good news about the therapist.
It's painful to recognize how we should have been treated.



I spent about a year dealing with a therapist who worked on my
not being nurtured while I was a child (baby?).


I think therapy and her hypnosis helped. We recognized that my mother was completely incapable of being nurturing and that I had learned to nurture others.

The therapist tried to teach me to nurture myself but I do not remember how far we got.

She did like yoga and meditation for me.

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My mother was good (protective? maybe) in other ways that were important and I have come to recognize and appreciate that more as I get older.



M

I am glad she helped you in certain ways. how could you nurture your brothers and sister when you weren't nurtured?
I nurtured the little girl across the street and I guess I nurtured my parents when I was little. How did I do it?

Good questions. I don't know.

That's the therapist that believed that we are connected
in this life to our past lives.
And she was a bit of a buddhist.


A few days ago on the phone, Mom told me that she had heard a big sound come out of my brother from his crib.
She came running to see what was happening.
I was standing over him making funny faces and he
responded in a loud baby laugh
that she apparently had never heard from him.

He could have been a few months old and I was a little more than one year old.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


M

That was a sweet story your mom shared with you.
wonder why she shared it now?
bizi

Is it painful or helpful to think about these things?


Or maybe both.


M

both. how did i make it through to come here?

I have had the same problem with not being nurtured, nurturing everyone else, and not knowing how to nurture myself.

I had a very good therapist who helped me with my past, and a lot of other things, but she never helped me learn how to take care of myself. I'm just getting around to doing that now, but I had to start learning my lessons in a VERY HARD WAY.

touch
 

One way I have in the past nurtured myself is by using TOUCH:

.. . . . some self massage . . . . not complicated or sophisticated . . . touch.
Not much like this video but you get the idea
Self Hand Massage - YouTube
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In the past I kind of tuned out of everything around me and listened to
loud rock music.


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The best is being in water. That's why the pool worked for me in two summers ago.

Or the hot sauna at the gym.

Sitting under a tree at the park.


M