Stressed and in Pain
 

HELP! The past few weeks have been brutal pain-wise and stress-wise for me. After 7+ years of pain I am currently waiting for surgery which should hopefully happen in the next two months. To date, I haven't been given much for pain relief - I was on Lyrica but gained weight so I am going back on Neurontin, Toradol or Narproxen, Flexeril and told to take Tylenol or Advil. I have done PT, tried chiro, accupuncture and am currently going for 1 hour massages once a week. My shining light is that maybe surgery will get rid of some of the pain.

Through all this I have been working - but I am at breaking point. Everyone I see is amazed I am even working. My family doctor doesn't seem to think I would feel better if I was off work...that I would still be sore...that's fine, but I am going through meltdowns....I am in so much pain I can't even decide what to eat for dinner...I have spent numerous nights crying from pain and frustration. I can't sleep lying down...I am actually more comfortable sleeping on the couch...

I know we are go through these cycles of pain, of frustration - but HOW do you get through it? I am forever biting off my poor BFs head and while I know he understands I wonder how he takes it. A year ago I was able to go to the gym a few times a week - now I am a wreck. I feel aweful...I am tired...I am sore...I feel like the 'help' is so far away.

Then there is the fear of surgery - what if it doesn't work? What if I feel worse? How am I going to pay my bills while I am off?

I am one of those 'keep to myself' kinda people. I don't normally go seeking out help but I am going crazy. It is a whirlwind of emotions, a roller coaster...I am angry, frustrated, scared and sad all at the same time. I have a good talk with gibbrn today - she has been a wonderful and dear friend to me...I know she has been exactly where I am now and that is reassuring.

Anything anyone can offer is accepted. I see my family doctor later this month and am demanding to be put off work - this crap has gone on long enough...I am not sure if it is the pain or the stress that is going to get to me first.

Having you people here is a truely a special thing - I lurk more then post and I appreciate all you can share with me

I think if you can manage it - being off work is the best way to really start healing. Use the time to totally rest, relax and recuperate - a focused healing time.

You have got overworked muscles and an over stressed, fatigued, pain filled body and mind.

If the PT is good , it and the massages may actually be able to do some real good for you when you are off work. Instead of just maintaining you so you can keep working.

PS - I'm a keep it to myself person too- or used to be - but I came out of my shell- LOL

JAMY - i'm so sorry that you're in so much pain. I don't have alot to offer other than support. Have you talked to your doctor about some sort of pain medication - over and beyond the tylenol or motrin? I know for me, on most days that I work, the tyelnol just doesn't cut it. also, several people take a muscle relaxer as needed to help relax those really tight muscles. and, you have every right to be frustrated, upset, confused, etc.
chin up-
dabbo

Hi Jamy
 

Hi Jamy,

Thanks for the compliment....I only wish I could do more for you. I have given suggestions that your doctor has just pushed away. In my opinion it is your doctor who has been negligent in your care as you have rights as a person in pain and you will find that doctors can be charged with negligence if you should want to go this far.....however the most important part right now is for you to rest and heal....Jo said it best......so get off work smack your doc in the face and make her realize that she is being negligent and that your care is important!!! You are at the end of your rope and that if you continue like this you do not know what will happen but it will likley involve a phone call to the college of surgeons and physicians.........

I think if she dosn't get you off work you need go to ER and get help there as it is becoming more of a mental health than pain as well....it is all held in by one very fine layer of wrapping........if that wrapping should start to open.....lets not go there yet.

Lets assume you do get off work then your next step is pay....I am going to assume you have sick time at work first then you apply for EI with your doctors note and while you are getting EI you apply for your Longterm disability.....I have done all of this and will be more than happy to help you with the paperwork and filling things out and givng you tips as you will need them...it is not easy......they make it difficult. As you will need to see your doctor again to fill in the paperwork....I would really call our local hospital and get the names of doctors who are taking new patients. I hope you can find someone close and then no drive...but at least you have your family when you get there.....

As we discussed your Man will be your Man if he is worth his weight in salt. He already had an understanding when you got together surely he knows this is temporary and your pain will get in control when you smack some sense into your doctor and ask her for some Zytram XL at the very least....oxycontin is the best thing for you to be on or ms contin....or morphine every few hours you need better care!!!!!!!!!!!

I truely hope you can talk some sense into your doctor and you really should call in sick until you go to see her as you can't manage all of the things together!!

My heart goes out to you. I will be with you the whole way just let me know what you need and DON'T BE SHY JUST ASK AND I WILL HELP!!!!!

my thoughts and prayers are with you,
Victoria:hug:

JAMY how did you get TOS ?
from repetitive or ?? something at work right ?

so off work = less continuous injury & pain
sure you will still be sore at home but less ongoing re-injury. IMO

don't want to assume...
 

hi Jo,
on an aside.....is IMO in my opinion????
just wondering..
Vic

Injury
 

Jo - best guess as to how I got TOS was from a car accident in 1997. I have since had two more accidents (once his the gaurdrail on black ice and just last year was rear ended).

Work definately aggrevates things - when I am on holidays I am a totally different person. We have very poor ergonomics at work which are contributing to my problem A LOT :(

First off - thank you guys! You guys are awesome!

Jo - I think the more time I have to focus and heal will be best. You nailed it on the head - that's exactly how I feel...and I think I need to crawl out of my shell so people can see how I am feeling...I am afraid one day I am just going to snap at someone...

Massage helps - I have low back/hip pain as well (from being rear ended) so that at least tackles that decently. I have been trying to work on posture but when you are sore it is hard to start correcting yourself too much as I am sure you know. I gave up on PT - I never found it helped a lot...I could go back in but I think I will just stick with massage for now. Heat helps...I think I need to go buy a nice heating pad - a treat to myself :) That may help somewhat. I used to love hot baths but I find getting out of the tub to be a challenge somedays :(

Dabbo - Thank you for yuor support...I have talked to my doc about pain medication and she just doesn't seem to want to go there - like going on 'pain meds' is a bad thing. I can barely function...she is surprised when I tell her Naproxyn doesn't work - I am not sure what she thinks I am dealing with. She is becoming a bit more sympathetic...but not much :( I do have a script for muscle relaxants - they do help somewhat, even if it is just to sleep.

Victoria - thanx girl! You are truely a greta friend! We know what my doc is like...I just wish she would start to come around a bit more...once she heard about thee surgery I thought she would finally see this is real. I know not many docs have experience with TOS - but it doesn't mean she can't meet me part way.

I had a long talk with my BF last night - he is worried about the mental effects of all this as well. I need to be more vocal about how I am feeling and come to him (or anyone) when I need them. I need to open up...I am learning that...I told him I am frustrated by what I can't do...I have always been stubborn, been proud...it is a curse!

We don't have STD at work...so I will have to go to EI right away...I figure I can go armed with that paperwork to the docs right away. But thank you - I will no doubt have questions as I get going through all of this.

I thank you guys - It is nice to know I am not alone...it's frustrating to go through this when no one (family, friends, coworkers) can understand what you are going through. It has taken till now for people to even know I am going through this and they are starting to realize they need to help. It's time to put the pride aside...

*hugs*

JAMY, you must stop work.

I see a counselor once a month and she's put me into a weekly group for Women with Depression and chronic pain. It really helps me on those long weeks of flare-ups.

I know exactly what you mean... I had a meltdown last week over the fact that I badly broke... a NAIL! WAAAHHHHH! (I know, big baby... but that's how chronic pain is.)

Remember, there will be (some) better days ahead!
Anne

JAMY,
I'm just going to throw this out here because maybe you've already tried it but what about asking your dr. for Elavil? I've taken it at bedtime for several years and it's helped me considerably. I imagine there are quite a few people here or on the other forums who use it. I know alot of people, myself included, were leery about going on it since I'd only heard of it as being an antidepressant. But it's also given ALOT for chronic pain and when my PM dr. wanted me to try it, I agreed to. I take a very large dose of it at bedtime along with my other meds. There's a generic form of it called Amitryptylin (I think I spelled that right) and if your insurance doesn't cover it, it's not that expensive to pay for yourself. As ridiculous as it sounds, for awhile it was cheaper for me to pay for it out of pocket and get it filled at Sam's than it was to send the 90 day prescription off to my insurance co.