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-   -   grief of the worst kind (https://www.neurotalk.org/coping-with-grief-and-loss/126340-grief-worst.html)

woodhaven 06-30-2010 02:43 PM

grief of the worst kind
 
I'm not sure whether losing a child or a husband of 32 years is worse. This is Mrs. Woodhaven and what I am feeling is ..............I can't put it into words!

Besides the MS, woodhaven was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in February and it had already gone to his brain. He was given 6 to 8 months to live at that time. He lasted 4 months. I lost him on June 15th and it has been pure living H---. We always did everything together. Never went anywhere without the other. I know he is now in a better place and am very thankful he is out of pain. It just hurts so bad.

I could sure use some prayers and hugs.

Kitty 06-30-2010 02:58 PM

:hug: I'm so sorry to hear this. You're in my prayers. I know there's nothing I can do or say to make it hurt any less. If it's any consolation I've been where you are and know first hand what it feels like. It feels like it's never going to get any better and nothing matters anymore. I can tell you now that's not true but I know you're not ready to hear that or believe it. I wasn't. I just had to experience it for myself......slowly......but it did happen.

You're not alone. If you have access to grief counseling I'd encourage you to consider it. Isolation isn't a good thing when you're grieving. I know the last thing you want to do is socialize but talking to a professional or even just a good friend with a soft shoulder can work wonders.

There's several of us here who have lost a spouse and can relate to what you're feeling. Please post here as often as you feel the need. We're here for you. It's hard....feels impossible.....and the hardest time (for me) was the weeks immediately following when everybody seemed to get back to their lives and I was still consumed with grief. I did alot of praying during those days.

I'm so sorry to read this news. You're not alone. :hug:

woodhaven 06-30-2010 03:06 PM

Thanks Kitty. I knew you had been where I am now from reading some of the past posts. I haven't been on since May 4th but once I get my computer set up in the house, I will probably come on more. The computer is now in his shop where we stayed most of the time before he got so sick.

Thanks again for your kind words. They mean a lot.

soxmom 06-30-2010 03:37 PM

awwww big hugs and prayers going out to you and your family. I
am so sorry for your loss.:(:hug::hug:

mamagoo 06-30-2010 08:05 PM

hugs thoughts and Prayer are headed your way...God bless you all and know that your Special Angel is at your side and though the grief may seem unmoundable know that there is nothing that you and God cannot get through together

karousel 06-30-2010 08:56 PM

:hug: I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts. :hug:

Koala77 06-30-2010 10:38 PM

I'm so sorry woodhaven. :hug:

I haven't lost a spouse, but I have lost several babies, both my parents and my brother. I know that my own pain is much different to your's but I wanted you to know that I have some idea of what you might be going through, and that I feel for you.

Kitty had some very good advice and I hope you find it useful.

Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Leesa 07-01-2010 07:27 AM

bless your heart! :( i know what it is to lose a husband. i lost mine 9 years ago and i thought i was going to die myself. it was the worst thing i've ever gone thru, as we had just gotten married the year before. my husband died 12 days before our first anniversary. :( we learned he had cancer 5 months after we got married, and it had already spread to where it was inoperable.

i'm so very sorry for your loss. it is devastating, and i know you're grieving. there are basically 5 stages of grief: shock, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. we go thru those stages at our own pace. grieving can take a long time, and some people take longer than others to recover. please don't let anyone try to tell you that "you should be over it by now." that's nonsense. you will know when you're beyond the grief, as we never really get "over it." just make sure you take care of YOU while you grieve. eat well and get the proper amount of sleep if you can. and come here to vent if yolu need to. God bless and take care. hugs, lee

soxmom 07-02-2010 07:47 AM

:hug:Thinking of you.:hug:

Kitty 07-02-2010 09:21 AM

Just wanted you to know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. :hug:


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