Hello, Long Time, No Visit
 

Hello, I haven't logged on or contributed for quite a while. I forget to come and hang out. I forget a lot of things, actually.

My initial accident was 3 years and 10 months ago. I banged my head again a year and a half later. I banged my head again in June of this year.

I have had a constant headache at a pain level of about 4/10 since the initial accident. Since June it has been about 6/10. Memory problems, light and sound sensitivity, irritability, confusability, and fatigue have all been worse as well.

I have also discovered that Complex PTSD is worse since the head injury, and I think it also makes the injury worse. I am not going to go into what the PTSD is from. However I have noted additional PTSD symptoms from being in situations similar to when the initial accident happened (things traveling quickly any where near my head).

Since the accident my immune system has been pretty severely compromised, and I have developed COPD as well, even though I have NEVER been a smoker.

I am just really frustrated and tired. I have begun fantasizing about suicide. I am not in real danger though, because I just couldn't do that to my 14 year old son, or really any of my friends or family. But the thought of final relief is so appealing.

Please don't lecture me about suicide... I know. I really do. Yes I am in counseling, and have been to a psychiatrist, and am on anti-anxiety and anti-depression medications. I have a crisis line or two in my phone contacts. I DO get it.

I will be trying a new neurologist soon, but have been trying to find one nearby with more good reviews than complaints.

I left my job and am applying to disability. I was approved for medicaid, and got to keep my PCP with it. I try to keep up with friends and activities and hobbies to the best of my abilities. I need a ridiculous amount of sleep. I am just... exhausted, discouraged, nearly hopeless. And I don't tell anyone any of this. I just try to be ok, and strong for those around me, and those who need me to be. I just don't think I can be strong much longer.:icon_cry:

I could have wrote your story with a few alterations here and there. You can be strong a lot longer. As long as it takes to get the right help and get comfortable enough to deal with this!! We are both doing it and we will both get there. I know it!!

mimsies,

Have you had a serious and targeted hormone assessment ?
Here's a link to a referral source. https://www.womensinternational.com/..._referral.html

I don't ... think .. so?

looking at site...