New graduate through Hell's Gate
 

Well that is a lie isn't it?
It's not like having a diagnosis suddenly made her BP... her behaviours have been hard work for a long time. I guess the 'graduate' bit is finally knowing that my gut instict that her moods weren't just 'typical teenager' were right.

I am the mum of a 16yo teenage girl who has recently been diagnosed BP2.
What I am struggling with is probably the same thing most other parents struggle with:
*wanting to 'fix' the problem (I can't) which makes me feel like a bad mum -although irrational I know

*trying to deal with the rapid cycling unpredictable mood swings- with all the 'fun' that goes with that- swapping between tired, irritable, grumpy, rude, crying, down, hyped, chatty, needy or maybe just screaming at me to F-off

*trying to support her to adapt to new meds, changing levels of meds, blood tests, visiting Drs and the sheer exhaustion and frustration she is facing dealing with the moods herself

*working with the school to help her keep a grip on studies when she has the concentration of a gnat, needs time off school and is seriously low- when previously she was a model student with straight A grades.

*trying not to neglect my other children in the process.

Any tips for surviving hell? :confused:
Other than trying to cry enough to put out some flames?

Maggie

hi Maggie and welcome to NT

so sorry you are having these struggles

I dont have a child with BP but my son does have Tourette comorbid with OCD and mood issues so I know a fraction of the stress and worries of trying to "fix" things for a kid:hug:

I hope some of our BP members will be able to offer support and guidance for you

all the best

Hi Maggie

I'm Donna and I have a son that is 26 and has BP.

He was lots of the same things your daughter is going through
without the diagnosis at her age. The thing is it just takes time
for others to get the fact that they need to understand.

I don't have much in the way of words of wisdom, other than the
best you can do is to be there when she needs you.

Also so you can be there for your other kids. Make sure she has
someone else to lean on. Try to find a family member that will
help to work through this.

I know I've not been much help, I'll think and see if I can come
up with some more Ideas.

Donna

Thanks for replying,
"...my son does have Tourette comorbid with OCD and mood issues ..." We all struggle and carry our own burdens- maybe different burdens, but burdens none the less.
Sending you a moment or two of peace.

Maggie

Thanks Donna
 

How old was your son when he was diagnosed? if you don't mind sharing.
The next few years are my biggest worry, I keep wondering- will it get worse? how do I pull apart what is BP, what are teenage issues, and what is just her actual personality- and it makes sense to me that her personality is shaped by the BP anyway.
How do you manage independance vs keeping them safe- like now when meds are seemingly not working very well.
How will she ever meet a guy who loves her enough to ride these rough seas? Seas so rough that even a mother feels like she could drown?
All of those unknown future things that go hand in hand with BP.
My heart breaks with her.
Luckily, my parents are close by and willing to take on a supportive role. Infact they have put aside their dream to be 'grey nomads' to stay close by for us. I am blessed that way.
Maggie

Technically, my son was 16 when he was diagnosed or the closes he was.
He was put on Depakote ER and wellbutrin and this was wonderful for
him. He still had some problems, but started doing lots better.

So its hard to say, he was still considered a teen, but honestly he
had to grow up many years. He was also going through having
to gain independence, he was part of the juvenile court system.
So he still was in our control. So it took a little time to be able
to get that try for independence.

So he started having a good luck with girlfriend, who is still with him.
At 18 and he finished school at 19. Honestly this was when he was
supposed to though.

Donna