Short Term Memory Loss VS. Derealization/Depersonalization
 

Hello NT,
I understand that anxiety after a TBI/Concussion is almost guaranteed, but does this lead to derealization/depersonalization in your experiences?

I'm having a hard time differentiating between:

A.)Short Term Memory Loss or Anterior Amnesia as explained in the TBI Survival Guide (that MarkInIdaho was so kind to share)

VS.

B.) Derealization/depersonalization from anxiety.

Nothing seems to fit the criteria, I don't feel like I'm watching a movie, or things are behind a veil. I just know that something isn't right. Things I did 5 minutes ago, feels like 5 days ago. What I did last week, feels like years ago and not 100% in my mind. This feeling worsens with anxiety of course; had 1.5 anxiety attacks. First one was full blown at work, the second I felt it creeping up but luckily my fiance was nearby and stopped by my job, took me down the block in his car, and we listened to a meditation podcast which helped me come completely out of it, however leaving me feeling very numb!

Just wondering if anyone else was diagnosed with this, what they did, what helped them and what didn't, or if this is just the TBI manifesting.

Additional symptoms:
-Vertigo
-Occasional nausea
-Light sensitivity
-Noise sensitivity
-Loss of focus when people are speaking to me one on one
-Inability to focus on my studies
-Fatigue
-Constant anxiety, random bursting into tears, switching between being okay one minute to the next.
-Incredible sensitivity to being off balance - example: if the road I'm walking on is uneven, I feel it 100x more than I used to and it throws me off completely.
-Disinterest in pretty much everything
-Binge eating to complete lack of appetite

Any insight would be really useful, I appreciate everyone's previous kind words when I was first figuring this out. I've been prescribed zoloft 25mg and I don't believe I'm seeing any difference. This used to bother me a lot more a few weeks ago, but now I seem to just be dealing with it - unsure whether things are improving or not - I feel as they aren't. Besides this, I'm trying light exercise, and all the vitamins that Mark listed as well as Green Tea Extract for when I'm dying at work from fatigue mid shift.

Also...the podcast I mentioned above is this one:
http://www.themeditationpodcast.com/episodes.html

^^^ It has been a GREAT tool in helping me calm down and fall asleep when my mind is racing, especially since my doctors have told me to cut out all sleeping aids - my previous best friends. Episode 28 is a good one, I recommend headphones as it lets you truly hear the binaural? beats well.

I hope and pray so hard every day that this will go away. I miss "normal" me. I now fear picking up the phone when a friend calls, going to the grocery store alone, I haven't driven in 2 months, and I pretty much have a mental break down every night before work. Considering quitting my job and going to a less stressful one but the opportunities of a lifetime would be completely out the door. I also hope one day to be able to help people out the same way that the lovely people here on NT have helped me, especially in my darkest moments.

Thank you all.

-Lily

I don't think I have the answers to your questions but just wanted to say hang in there and good luck!

Lily,

I think that the symptoms that you are going through are just classic PCS symptoms, and I've had them all. I'm especially sensitive to the fact that my balance is completely off, even if I'm walking down a straight road. I believe that the accident did something to my vision, and I'm hoping to get that corrected eventually.

Hang in there. I know what it's like. You feel like a completely different person, even though the old you is in there somewhere. I've been told that these symptoms are just part of the healing process, and not indicative of brain damage, etc.

Take good care of yourself--as best you can. I only wish I'd done that early on in my recovery.

Seth

I want to read more of this, but this sounds like me TO A TEE!! You're not alone and I thank you Lily for posting this. I just don't remember everything you have down [emoji13] I just thank everyone here for putting up their struggles cuz it helps me too.


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I don't think you should use the TBI Survival Guide to self-diagnose. It is best for the injured person and their family to use to recognize symptoms so they understand that those symptoms are due to a head injury. Otherwise, family and even we deny these symptoms. The guide can help us identify symptoms so we know what to relate to the doctor. But, avoid self-diagnosing. Doctors do not like patients who self diagnose.

Print the guide if you can. I know, 84 pages. Use a highlighter to note those issues that concern you. Tell the doctor, "I found this guide written by a NeuroPsych that has helped me understand my confusing symptoms. I've highlighted the issues that seem to apply to me." "Before reading this, I thought I was going crazy because none of this made sense. Now I understand that these are common symptoms. Can you help me sort these symptoms out ?"

That's great advice, Mark.

Slippery Slope
 

Hi Lilnyc,

Sounds like you are on the slippery slope. This doesn't go away if we don't let it. I have been like you for over a year and a half. I say quit your job, go dark for a month, where you meditate, knit, eat well and maintain a positive attitude(single most difficult thing to do and the single most important thing). Without a positive attitude our minds crash.

The reason it old you previously that Jane Mcgonigals podcast is spot on how to recover from this is because the most important thing is to minimize symptoms, but you have to kill the depression and anxiety before they destroy your life. Depression and anxiety are the main culprits and I swear this website can cause a lot of those things. Get off the nets, focus on getting better, quit your job. If you don't have a working brain, all opportunities of life disappear. Figure out ways to curb your anxiety and depression and don't get on the internet or this recovery can go on forever. I was given this advice, I couldn't follow it and now most of my symptoms are intact. Good luck, remember recovery can take a year or more. If you can bring a good attitude to this it's possible to recover or you can decide if you want to live like this forever.

Lily,

I had the same problem with work.

I am self employed and missed 10 months after my injury. I returned in mid january and was frightened. I could take 2 hours for 3 days a week. I could barely tolerate the ride home. When imdid start driving I was able to drive myself till noon and my daughter took me around after that, i, lost to much concentration.

I am 18 months post now and doing much better...still have struggles but nothing like the spring.

Be patient and pay attention to what is going on for patterns, it is a fine line between paying attention and obsessing, you have to find that line and you can. This is doable.

Bud

Theres just so uch here, Im lost [emoji37] Im gonna have to use my laptop tomorrow instead of this phone, lol. Too hard for me. Somebody said something about a "guide?" Many many pages? I won't take to a dr, but I'm new in this state and I'm trying to find a neurologist that deals with our injuries specificsly. Sure I'll have to go to Vanderbilt in Nashville, but the travel will be fine! It's nice there!!


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Lily

I agree with others that these are all very common PCS symptoms, and it is not ideal to obsess/self-diagnose. I experienced all of the symptoms you are going through, and all of them have diminished significantly. Please understand that this can be a VERY slow process of healing, and you may have to make changes in your life to allow yourself to heal. It may be very difficult for you to concentrate on recovery if you are having to work full-time in a demanding job. You may need to seek help from your family, tell them you are seriously hurt, and tell them you need help as you recover. If you can get your doctor to diagnose PCS, he/she can write you out of work for an extended period of time while you figure out what to do. A lot of employers have some sort of policy that allows for paid medical leave. You can use this until you figure out how to move forward.

The derealization/depersonalization is very scary, I understand what you are going through. Meditation is a very good tool to help with this anxiety. I also took a lot of warm epsom salt baths, got massages from my partner, got manual therapy from a PT, acupuncture, listened to nature sounds, etc... to help with the anxiety. This does pass with time, but only if you reduce stress on your mind.

Some other things you can do to help with your symptoms... Get your vertigo & balance issues checked by a vestibular specialist. Vestibular eye exercises actually helped improve the depersonalization & derealization for me (I think it was a mix of anxiety and vision issues that caused the derealization for me).

You may find that the anti-depressant helps with the anxiety and depression, but it also may not help. Reducing exposure to stimulating environments for some time would also be helpful, as well as the things I listed above to help with anxiety.

Take care.