not sure what to do
 

I just signed on here; listed as "depression"- diagnosed major depression in 1981 currently on disability, spending most of my time in bed. Real reason I came here is because I've been having what seem to neurological symptoms in the past year.

I'm sort of sensitized to being accused of imagining my illness as many with depression are... maybe that's why I'm not sure if I should talk to a doctor or not.

Anyway I've been extremely fatigued for at least 7 years. Doctors all say it's the depression but I feel that there is something more physical happening on top of the depression. What I'm calling "fatigue" is actually this: I have a strong disinclination to move. All movement is stiff and takes way too much effort. I move exactly like I would if I was sore all over, but there is no pain. It is as if there was pain that I can't feel. I'm stiff in my trunk similar to how it feels in cold weather. About two years ago I started having balance problems and I fell to the side a few times. Then I learned to move more slowly and I never fall any more but frequently lose then regain my balance.

I find myself walking with shorter steps with my right upper arm pressed tightly against my body; sometimes I'm walking with right elbow bent and hand in the air; a couple of times I found myself walking with left holding right bicep area but I don't know why. I went to my gp in July and told him about these symptoms and he mentioned possible parkinsons and ordered an mri to rule out inner ear problems. (I had a bad reaction to the gadolinium dye but that cleared up within a month) the results of the mri were "perfect" according to the nurse who called me back. At this point because of general lack of motivation, extreme pessimism about everything, etc. I decided that my symptoms were not serious enough to warrant further investigation and decided to wait and see if things got worse.

About a month ago I started noticing my right index finger moving on its own when poised above my laptop keyboard and touchpad. I guess this would be termed intentional tremor. It happens all the time now and sometimes in the left hand too. And now when my hands are at rest I get these spasms where the index finger and thumb muscles contract, sometimes simultaneously. Mostly in the right hand, sometimes in the left. It's not a rhythmic tremor, just random contractions.

I'm under lots of stress with considerable anxiety; the other day I was turned down for an apartment I thought I had found and the contractions started happening much more frequently, then abated in a few hours. Maybe this means it's "all in my head?"

Has anyone had symptoms like mine? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I know you're not doctors here, I'd just like to know what you think. I'm at a point mentally where I sort of question my own ability to analyze anything myself...

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

Sorry you are having problems and are anxious about your condition.

You say have had an MRI that will have ruled out some possibilities - it was ordered by your gp, who also previously mentioned parkinson's, due to some of the things you have experienced and concern you. I would look to seeing a movement disorder specialist to either rule out or confirm parkinsons, they are the people with the specialist knowledge and experience with PD.

Neither your GP nor a general neurologist will have this expertise, though they will have enough understanding to know that it MAY be a possibility.

Diagnosis of PD is a process of elimination, as well as observation. You say you have a lot of stress and are anxious, along with depression. It is true that PD can worsen with stress, and become more noticeable, that in itself doesn't mean you have it, or that you don't. You seem to have some conviction that you have a physical condition on top of the depression, so go with your gut feeling on this and ask for a referral and get yourself checked out by the right people, and one way or another you should start to get some answers.

I wish you all the best in finding the answers you need. In the meantime whether your symptoms are a result of depression or something else it would help to be as active as you can be, there is a lot of research to say that exercise is a mood enhancer, and even small amounts of activity can be of benefit helping across the board mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Take care
Lindy

I agree with Lindy..Make an appointment with a movement disorder specialist

Sure sounds like you have some Parkinsons symptoms to me

agree
 

I think you do need to check it o ut......if it is in your head or from depression and lack of activity.....that would be the up side. Not knowing, it seems to me and looking back as a real hider at first, can have its own kind of eating away that isn't good for you.

Diagnosis of PD
 

Hi Bool,
Sorry to hear your story. I started 19 years ago with exactly what you described which turned out to be PD. I started walking with smaller steps, pressing my left arm into my body. My wife thought I had had a small stroke. If I got stressed, my left arm and leg trembled. This would happen while driving if someone cut me up. Dragging my left foot was another early symptom.
PD often starts on one side, mine started on the left hand side, then gradually spread to the rest of the body I can only reinforce what Lindy and the others have said, to get it checked, but unfortunately it does sound like PD. Another useful test is to look for signs of cogwheel rigidity, where the doc will wind your arm around and try to detect an intermittant resistance. Keep in touch with this forum, it is an excellent way of getting comparison with other sufferers.
Best wishes
Ron

Thank you all for responding. I feel much calmer having heard from you. I'm formulating a plan and trying to get priorities arranged. I'm in Missouri now but next month I'm moving back home to Ohio, just outside Cleveland. I have an appointment lined up with my psychiatrist there, I will see if he can refer me to the Cleveland Clinic.

But, until then I've got to try to be as active as I can, concentrate on QUITTING SMOKING (I had been quit for 16 years before I came down here 3 years ago to help with my fathers care and passing which happened in July). I do not drink or take drugs, antidepressants only make me worse anymore, I have a pretty good diet including vitamins and supplements.

I will prepare myself for a possibly drawn-out process of seeking diagnosis, I know it may also be a quick and simple matter... The main thing for me is to persevere and to avoid my usual pattern of easy discouragement, apathy, disgust, etc. and then giving up.

Because I tend to isolate and enjoy living alone, forums like this are extremely valuable when they are made up of friendly caring people like you all seem to be here.

Sorry to hear about your problems bool. I agree it does sound like you have some of the symptoms of Parkinson's. Most definitely make an appointment with the Cleveland Clinic. They are the ones that diagnosed me after several years of trying to find out what the problem was.

GregD

Wow, Bool! you could be describing many of my symptoms! I've not received a diagnosis yet, but have started through the elimination process. I can tell you what has helped me thus far, but then I'm probably early on in the journey. Having a routine, getting good rest, eating right, exercising, avoiding stress all seem to help me minimize symptoms, and kind of keep my energy at a decent level. Over the past several years I've radically changed my diet, and I think that has staved off symptoms for a while. I went through an emotional trauma this year that seem to jump start them.

Be proactive, do everything you can to support your health. Oh, and welcome to the forum!