What should I say?
 

The other day my father in law and i were talking about my foot and back probs. He does not know I am on SSDI for bipolar, borderline personality disorder, ocd..etc...anyway, we were talking and he kept saying that I should apply for SSDI...I brushed him off. I love him to bits, and I totally trust him, but he drinks now and again and I fear that telling him the truth would be dangerous because he may slip and my wicked mother in law would start trouble and tell everyone she knows within minutes...he kept pushing the issue, so I told him I had applied but was denied...well, initially I was...so I said I am in the appeal process....I hate to lie to my father in law, he is such a great person, but I can't tell him...what should I say when a year passes and he asks again? I know I have to lie and say I was denied..I guess I am just looking for confirmation that lying is the only way. Other suggestions are greatly appreciated and welcomed!:confused:

I am not sure what to tell you, because if I were in your situation, I wouldn't lie. I'd just tell the truth. It's not really anyone else's business if you are on it or not, and why.

I know that some people get angry or jealous when they find out someone is on SSDI or SSI.. and a lot of people look down on those who get "a free ride from the government", even though that isn't what these programs are about.

I was just approved for SSI on Tuesday, and I am certainly not going to announce it to the world. However, I am not ashamed that I need help because my medical problems make it impossible for me to work right now.

I guess I'm not understanding why it would be so awful if it was spread around to "everyone". Yeah, it isn't their business--but what is the worst that can come of it?

I personally think that being honest is always the best solution... but if you feel that he absolutely cannot know, then I'd suggest trying to just avoid the topic or tell him that you don't wish to talk about it--rather than blatantly lie and say you have been denied. But, that's just my opinion. It is ultimately up to you--and I wish you the best. :)

The Social Security Administration has found you sick. First I would tell your father in law the truth and ask him to let you tell your mother in law. Then I would tell her that you need her support right now because you are sick and fragile and to please not make you feel bad about yourself. I think it would be better for you if the truth comes out, because then you wouldn't have that extra stress in your life. If she calls you a liar and whatever just tell her you're praying for her and you forgive her. The bottom line is the government has found you ill and agrees you need help financially and physically right now. I'm sorry that part of your family doesn't support you and hope things get better for you in the future.

i disagree with the above 2 posters. there is nothing to be gained by telling people you are on ssdi and nothing but aggravation to lose by not telling them. i have no trouble brushing people off if a topic is none of their business. Judging by the way you feel about your mother in law i would keep it to myself.

I agree with Echoes....it is no ones business.

So do I. The less people who know, the better.

Thanks guys...I am going to go with my gut...no ones business.

This is tough. Many many people have asked me what I now do. I have told them I am currently disabled. I won mainly on mental issues. But I have also had 6 knee surgeries over the past 2+ years. So they think I won because of this. Now that the knee is starting to get better people ask me when will I be working again. I would be on the streets without SSDI but it is so difficult telling people that I am on SSDI. I know alot of you say it is no one's business but it is not easy telling 10 brother in laws/sister inl aws all the time I am still off work. I hope to try and work fairly soon. I see my psychologist and psychairist and both of them tell me the best way to get over some mental issues is work. But on the other hand I hate to give up my SSDI for a minimum wage job. My monthly benefits are without going into detail very good. Basically what I am saying is I know what you are going thru. I hear some type of comment from someone everytime I see someone I know.

Pretty much everyone close to me in my family knows my situation. If you can't be honest with close relatives who can you be honest with? One of the reasons that it is out in the open is because my cousin works for the SSA in North Carolina and I had to come clean with her so I could pick her brain for advice.

I dunno...I just can't. My husband's family will think I am weak and that mental issues are no reason to be on disability--they are very old fashioned. I can't function as a normal person would. They know something is wrong with me, but I think they just think I am stupid.