Momma's Insight on Chronic Illness and Socializing
 

Socializing comes very easy to some folks and yet to others it is a very difficult and trying event. I have always been told that I never meet a stranger, and I guess that is true. I can be anywhere and start a conversation with someone I don't even know. I've met some interesting people along the way, made some good friends and even been criticized by family.

If you will for a few moments that it takes to read this imagine yourself the opposite of how you socialize. You are or are not the overt or introvert, you are in fact the opposite, and you are the normal healthy average person. Life seems to become less complicated for those that are easy going, makes friends easily or does it? Life seems to be more complicated for those that are less out going doesn't it, afraid to ask for help, afraid to be rejected, or just afraid?

The normal is what? What do we consider normal? Are we normal? We have different illnesses that society would call us less than normal do we not? Yet, we still socialize to some extent, we still interact in one way or another on some level do we not? Yet there is still that factor of how easy or difficult it is to interact even when not been seen, as on the internet.

The internet has opened up a new line of communication for folks all over the world. We now communicate with people from different countries we never would have before. Is it easier for those that find socializing difficult? I think you would have to ask them. I do know that we often find ourselves not communicating as much, not because we are afraid of being rejected. I think it is more of limited time in the things we can accomplish.

What if our normal is four hours of physical activity in a day, would we want to spend an hour communicating online or with a family member or friend? We spend the rest of the time doing errands, cleaning or hobbies. Socializing is a very important aspect of our daily living. We need that interaction for support and a healthy mental status. However, we sometimes don't get to answer and post as much as we might.

This does not mean we do not care what happens to our online family, it means we have other things going on and can't get to all the posts. I can answer only for me when I say, I love each and everyone of you. I see a post where someone needs prayer and I say that prayer. I see a post where some one is hurting and I hurt for you. I just can't answer all the posts, the fatigue is overwhelming at times even with meds.

This is not an excuse, I'm just trying to tell you that people find it hard to socialize at times. It is not because they don't care, it is not because they are ignoring you, it is not because they don't like you. It is because they have a chronic illness that interferes with their life everyday.

If you are a person that finds it hard to socialize, please don't feel that you will be rejected if you post, or it won't get read or answered. Just post it anyway...Colonel Sanders was turned down over 200 times before he got an answer. Be a Colonel Sanders!! You never know that what YOU post might help someone else. Just because you think it is not important does not mean it might not be to someone else. (Don't know how to spell Colonel...hope its right lol) Spelling can also go with a chronic illness, I used to be able to spell any word you could ask. So don't let that stop ya either!!

Socializing with a chronic illness can be difficult but it is not impossible and you never know...you just might make a friend or two.

Hi Momma! Thanks for caring, and thanks for your prayers.

Hope all is well with you. Keep your doors locked, though, cuz jmiller will be back soon!

:hug:

Thanks for this thread Mama...those of us out here who sometimes feel ignored need to be reminded of this...
:Thanx:

Momma, you said a mouthful of truthfulness! I am outgoing and Jim is more reserved. My youngest is like me and my oldest like Jim. No rhyme or reason, just is what it is. Jim and Chris take time to warm up and once they do...look out. Nik and I jump right in, no warm up needed. lol

BUT, I have found I am less likely to jump in as fast the older I get. Is it society or is it I am more cautious? I dunno.

for me its hard to imagine not being social, i have always been one who can strike up a conversation, with complete strangers, but with our one autistic child we see this with him all the time,its very hard for chris to socialize and talk to folks, and it pains me to see this, cause it comes so natural to me. As always good post mama hope you are doing well:hug:

and you are right mama the internet has opened up things i met me wife that way a thousand miles away, it can be a help, we have also noticed our one son is starting to socialize more on his online games, so maybe not having the person right in front of him makes it easier for him, we are not sure but there is a difference

thanks for this ... I, too, am a social butterfly before the illness .. .and try to keep an upbeat attitude .. but, there are days that I just get overwhelmed ... and can't keep up ... and yes, I read and pray alot without posting ...

this has been my 'out' because I get pooped when I get ready to go somewhere - I can't wait to get home to rest already!! so - coming here to just veg and read ... and post, too - has really really helped me with my illness.

[B]DebbieD...You keep posting, what you have to say is important, don't let anybody tell you different and if they do...don't listen!

[B]sandy...I think as we get older we are more cautious, not because we are afraid of creating friendships but of the social times we now live. Its the 'who do you trust' syndrome. lol

Twink...how's that lil ole critter doing? You take care now, I'm doin fair to middlin...lol The IBS is back...bet I've lost 10 pounds, yeah...we all know what that is. lol

Vonn...I know how ya feel honey...I hate to go anywhere and stay for more than an hour. lol If I go to my DD, I lay down on her bed and watch TV. Kids know its a given. lol

When I was on MSW...I posted over a 1000...look at how many I have here...that tell you how the fatigue gets. lol But I'm still here...tired, haggard, and worn out. lol

Frank...Wish I could meet Chris, I worked with special kids...and they are special with very special parents like you.

Thanks for posting this, Momma. It's so true.

I used to socialize alot. Between work and friends I was hardly ever home. Now, I'm home all the time. And friends (I use that term loosely) have gotten to where they don't call as often. One friend whom I thought I was very close with has stopped calling me.

I guess this is why I am more cautious now. Plus some events that have taken place over the years that have made me less trusting of others.

I'll talk to people in line at the store or at the doctor's office. That seems safe because I have an "out". I don't have to get too close to them and will probably never see them again.

Since my dx with MS that's about the extent of my "in person" socializing. It's been hard to adapt to since I was used to being around people all the time. Now, it's almost an effort to even want to be around multiple people.

I'm thankful for my NT family. Don't know what I would do without them. They're the only ones who truly understand.