looking old for my age
 

A little pity party here.

I remember when I was little and felt complimented if someone thought I was older than my age. I was "all grown up."

MS has sucked a lot of life out of this body of mine.

Now I look old for my age and it is not just the mirror and my vanity speaking.

When I go out and friends, family, and strangers want to talk to me, I get the same comments.

I keep quiet because I do know their hearts are in the right place. I cannot stop their words without them becoming uncomfortable. I have just learned to nurse my ego and move forward.

I repeat, some should know better. I have told them and of course, they feel badly and completely understand the mistake. Some I just let it go, it is not as if I talk to them with any frequency.

As I said, their hearts are to be judged not their lack of understanding

But no matter what I am compared to their mother (these are people MY AGE who talk about their mothers) or people who are a bit younger that talk about their grandmother.

And people in their 80's use the term "we" when talking to me.

I am 55 years old. So many of my peers are healthy, wealthy and enjoying their empty nests.

I always thought I would be one of them.

It is not so bad to be me except for the totally innocent comments of people just trying to be nice and sympathize by using people in their 80's to relate.

My latest rant comes from going to my local fitness center to try a yoga class, to adjust it to stretch using my rollator as a companion. I know it prompted a stranger to refer to her 75 year old mother.

I do not fault her but yet, it was hard enough to walk into such a place with my contraption.

Just a vent. Sometimes I need to get it out in order to move forward.

Im sorry..even well meaning people can say hurtful things...:hug::hug:

http://home.earthlink.net/~sal.pal/s.../myptvatar.jpg Here I am at 60, looking trim, young for my age and well.



http://home.earthlink.net/~sal.pal/s...res/better.gif Here I am at 68, not as trim, looking much older, and not looking quite as well w/MS progression.


It's not that you look old, Cyn, it's the gimp equipment. I was once walking with my cane at about 52 and a little boy said...look Mom, Grandma has one just like that and Mom smiled an affirmation.:o :mad:

What can I say. people are stupid.:rolleyes:

If you look anything like your picture, I would have guessed you at 39/40ish...no way 50+..:hug:

I think you are both beautiful! No kidding! :hug:

I'm sorry, Cyn, that you are having a rough go of it. Must be the AZ heat. :Melting 2:

I have days when I feel old, dumpy and fat. Then I have days where I feel young and "with it". I tend to stay home more then I used to so I'm sure that has something to do with it. Why "primp" when nobody but the cats are gonna see you?! :o

But really, I know what you mean. Just carrying my cane can make me feel older. But then I'll see someone younger than me with a cane and I don't think any less of them.....I even admire that they can "look so good" with a walking device.

It pretty much depends on my mood as to how I view myself any given day. But one person's offhanded comment (even well intentioned ones) can put a damper on my whole day.

I thought it was really cruel of life to:
1. in 2002 DX me with MS

2. by 2008 have gone in preceding years from Canadian crutches to rollator to wheelchair. There was menopause in there too!

3. As DH says, now I'm sitting on my best part, said "Wow" when I showed him, "That dress is great for you, but you don't stand up anymore, that dress would show off IF you did. Can you fit in that dress you wore once?"

In a chair no one sees you unless it's to be really kind. They also tend to talk loudly to you. I want to say "I can't walk, I'm not deaf. " Time and MS has taken my youth. But I guess even without MS, 53 would have hit me hard anyway..

signed,
a young person in an aging container.

So:
-I'm buying the dress anyway.
-I'm never give up my wrinkle creams, despite the price (not outrageous, but more than Supermarket - though Oil of Olay is suppose to be good)
-clothes shopping is a needed and necessary activity.

I hope to be a heck of an old lady.


PS The nice young Terminex man came, I don't thomk he sees anyone but someone in a chair.

Buy the dress, the cream, and go shopping! Be a heck of a lady! When/if I am in a chair, I'm going to pimp it out and embrace it. I've given a lot of thought to this depressing subject, so I want it to be the least depressing it can be, if it happens.

I hate that people are blind to people in wheelchairs. I saw a lady at the drug store about a month ago, struggling to get up the ramp in her chair. I went to her and offered to help, and she accepted. We got to talking, and she has MS too. We ended up talking in the drug store for an hour, and she was an awesome lady who's had MS since 1973. I made a new friend, just because I wasn't blind to her chair. Do unto others!

One of the things about growing old and decrepit and knowing that I am slowly going downhill is that when I was very young, pretty and barely into this disease I used to have hope.

Now I only have hope that I will simply know what causes this horrific disease before I die because I know that a cure "is not just around the corner" as I was told for the first 20 years and that we are still in the dark ages with brain diseases.

No longer do I dream about what it will be like when a good treatment comes because I no longer believe that anything will reverse me to the perky stage of old.

Also, I have the same disdain for the mice as Sally C.

gmi

I DID buy the dress!!!! It's really cute. I waited a month now (on-line - always in stock summer item, it's that cute), knew I really wanted it.
Went to a party in Dec. In a chair,my eyes are at butt level, tried to be amused (not bitter which I kind of felt), got d***ed if I care attitude, told many who else had panty line. All I could do and helped everyone else realize Yes, I am here and making observations. DH and I have a saying, Don't yell at average mice. Reminds us both to ignore the average stupid people we don't need to educate and doubtful we'll ever see again. Once in awhile a gem appears - the clerk in IKEA who got it about stuff without explanation. The waiter who saw me. But there is a lot of the other kind- too well/sticky tooooooo nice -meaning or stupid people out there. Disabled or not, they always were there. Now your sensor is just more sensitive. My SIL has always given me these words to live by - "F*** em if they can't take a joke." This is no joke, but you know. Maybe they just don't know how smart you are, or we make terrific bread. How could they know we...............

I just turned 50 this week, and I now think of myself as in the "old" category. Funny that I didn't feel that way earlier actually, given the way I thought when I was younger.

I remember talking to an adult when I was 12, and referred to someone as "old". He asked, "what is your definition of old?", and I responded "anyone over 29". :D To me there were two categories; "young and cool" (29 and younger) and "old" (over 29).

So, according to my definition when I was 12, we are almost twice the definition of old. :p

Anyway, I think anything over 50 is old now, so "we" would slot in that category nicely, no matter how good we look. It is nothing personal ... :p

Cherie