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-   -   Me again.. How do people accept? (https://www.neurotalk.org/peripheral-neuropathy/218881-people-accept.html)

canagirl 04-16-2015 04:27 AM

Me again.. How do people accept?
 
Hi

I feel as if the nortriptyline has knocked pain down from a 10 to a 7 /8. However I'm still not happy. In fact, it's even adding to my stress cus I'm scared that I am on a med to kill pain and I'm still in this much pain. I have in and took the med cus pain was worsening by the day, so now I'm thinking "what if pain us still worsening.. That means the med is working a lot not a little?" So in scared to go off it. Ahh! I can FEEL my body react to this stress ( I think. I hope that's why I feel my symptoms increase ). Then I stress about the fact that I can't feel all the pain bc med is doing something.
Seriously? What is WRONG with me? Please explain how u don't obsess over this beast. How do u accept that not one inch of ur body doesn't feel ALL of these stupid sensations and pain? How so u just ignore and try to sleep Nd or live ur day? I WANT to do this!!! I feel weak and broken that I can't. The nortriptyline is an antidepressant too so im hoping it help this but not yet so far.
I try to meditate but can't bc all I do is feel my body more. I try think of something diff when thoughts of this beast consume me but it only works for a few seconds.
Does anybody take pain med ( whatever the class) and an antidepressant for the real purpose of depression? Does it work?

St George 2013 04-16-2015 07:43 AM

Good Morning canagirl :)
 
Bless your heart. I am so sorry you are going through so much. Let me tell you a little of my story....hopefully the shorter version :)

And yes....an anti-depressant would help you I believe.

In May 2013 when this pain hit me all at once right after chemo ended my PCP put me on Paxil, an anti-depressant, because I was absolutely freaking out. And it helped me tremendously. I was dx'd with severe small fiber neuropathy in Sept 2013 via skin punch biopsy. I had to be my own advocate and wound up seeing my PCP, neuro, foot and ankle dr.
After determining that I could not take Cymbalta or Lyrica and only be able to tolerate 1800 mgs a day of gabapentin my dr's stressed that I needed a good pain mgnt dr. Finally a year after being dx'd I gave in and am now seeing a wonderful pain mgmt. dr.

Prior to seeing the pain mgmt. dr I was on hydro 7.5-325 and my PCP increased that to 10-325 a month before I had my first visit with pain mgmt.

This journey is not an easy one nor is anything a quick fix. Since last Sept I've been on a BuTrans pain patch and Percocet 10-325. The BuTrans patch started at 5mcg/hr and I have been titrated up to my present dose of 20 mcg/hr. The Percocet is suppose to be for breakthrough pain but so far it's a part of my pain mgmt. Most days I have to use 3.....during the last month I did have 2 days that I used 1/2 a pill one day and 1 pill the next and was very excited. Of course that excitement crashes on me every dang time. I feel good, do too much and then wind up in bed or on the couch for 2 to 3 days trying to get over my good time.

My constant pain is in my feet and hands. At any time it could be my ankles, both legs and arms. I have electrical shocks, burning, stinging, deep aching, cramping pain but not actual cramps and so on.

All of this is so frustrating. I want to feel good, cook, clean, work in the yard. This monster has caused me to file and be approved for SSDI. Not exactly what I wanted after working for 32 years. Sometimes I scream, cuss and cry at the pain and the fact that my life revolves around small fiber neuropathy. A word I had never heard of until 2013.

I hope some of my story helps you.

I do believe you need an anti-depressant for your depression itself. You need to know that you are not alone in this journey. NT has been a vital resource for me and just reading what others feel has made this road a little easier for me. You have to take one step at time. I'm still not where I want to be as far as pain control is concerned but I'll keep working on it with my pain mgmt. dr until I run out of options. Hopefully I'll find a pain plan I can live with. I know my pain will never be 100% gone but I want as much quality of life as I can get out of this.

Take care and please keep us posted.

PS....I understand about taking pain meds and still having pain. I've thought many times 'I wonder how bad I would be now if I wasn't on something because it has to be progressing if I still hurt on pain meds right ?'

Debi from Georgia

EnglishDave 04-16-2015 08:04 AM

Canagirl,
ADs take several weeks to get into your system and start taking full effect. I have to take Mirtazapine due do my life-long mental condition causing severe Depressive state. If they didn't work along with all the pain and associated pain killers, well…
As for meditation:

http://www.how-to-meditate.org/breat...ditations.htm/

This is my Teacher's simple, but extremely powerful Breathing Meditation technique. Although it is a Buddhist site this technique has nothing to do with religion or philosophy, it is aimed at everyone. If I can manage to meditate, anyone can master it.
The trick is to start small, say 10 minutes in a peaceful room with no distractions, and be happy with 2, 3 or 4 minutes of clarity of mind to start with as you get used to emptying your mind and concentrating on your breathing. Once mastered, the technique becomes easier and the length of time increases rapidly.
Of course, anything that strengthens our minds or distracts us from the pain of our conditions is a positive. On that point, keep Posting, relieving stress here to your peers is an outlet you will find helpful.

Dave.

mrsD 04-16-2015 08:16 AM

Breathing control is absolutely essential I think for managing pain. Pain is basically an acidic process at the receptor level. Hyperventilating removes carbon dioxide from the blood and makes the blood more acidic.

By breathing carefully, you can reduce the pain, by keeping the blood from getting too acidic. I learned this for my GI pain that I was born with. (I have a birth defect that results in twisted intestines). I have learned to control this and prevent a serious long term torsion, which may result in surgery some day. And this allows me to not need so much medication.

Yoga teaches breathing also, and some posters here have said that yoga helped their pain as well.

anon050715 04-16-2015 08:24 AM

Can you take walks? Maybe some light exercise will get the blood flowing and help.

canagirl 04-16-2015 10:21 AM

I can take walks and do so everyday. It doesn't help....

anon050715 04-16-2015 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canagirl (Post 1135975)
I can take walks and do so everyday. It doesn't help....


Sorry about that...hope you find relief.

baba222 04-16-2015 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canagirl (Post 1135915)
Hi

I feel as if the nortriptyline has knocked pain down from a 10 to a 7 /8. However I'm still not happy. In fact, it's even adding to my stress cus I'm scared that I am on a med to kill pain and I'm still in this much pain. I have in and took the med cus pain was worsening by the day, so now I'm thinking "what if pain us still worsening.. That means the med is working a lot not a little?" So in scared to go off it. Ahh! I can FEEL my body react to this stress ( I think. I hope that's why I feel my symptoms increase ). Then I stress about the fact that I can't feel all the pain bc med is doing something.
Seriously? What is WRONG with me? Please explain how u don't obsess over this beast. How do u accept that not one inch of ur body doesn't feel ALL of these stupid sensations and pain? How so u just ignore and try to sleep Nd or live ur day? I WANT to do this!!! I feel weak and broken that I can't. The nortriptyline is an antidepressant too so im hoping it help this but not yet so far.
I try to meditate but can't bc all I do is feel my body more. I try think of something diff when thoughts of this beast consume me but it only works for a few seconds.
Does anybody take pain med ( whatever the class) and an antidepressant for the real purpose of depression? Does it work?

So sorry about this for you. I have changed a great deal since my symptoms started. It is a process of grieving and I am not anywhere near acceptance even though I have gone through all the testing and seen more doctors in the last year than all previous ones combined.

I am not sure if you have tried the Epsom salts bath? That helps me a little when I get close to a 10 situation.

Also, when I go into the handicapped warm, but not hot pool, it decreases my pain some.

The neuropathy paradox is that lying, sitting, as well as exercise can all make the symptoms worse.

Hope you find some relief soon.

EnglishDave 04-16-2015 12:25 PM

Canagirl,
I realised I didn't answer your main question. One should never 'Accept'. You WILL learn to cope, your mind and body WILL adapt as you follow medical advice, try things you select that are suggested here and become stronger.
Acceptance is admitting defeat, one should always be searching for that little glimmer that makes Coping so much easier.

Dave.

KnowNothingJon 04-16-2015 12:49 PM

For me it is a constant battle. Valley at the moment, but past valleys hsve informed how to deal with it better. At work I keep to myself of late. I get a remarkable amount of work done considering how I feel.

A few days ago, while waiting at the printer/copier a co-worker approached and said "I miss upbeat happy Jon." sounding troubled by it.

Sometimes things don't go through enough review stages and drafting before exiting my mouth.

Dry as a white wine escaped "I am terribly sorry for your suffering"


Back to work. There feels like no way to win. As I am a natural introvert, I go in.

So it goes.


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