woke up crying
 

hello,
i feel soooo scared. it upsets me that upon my visit to my neurosurgeon with emg report in hand, told me, "you have a multitude of problems" as if i don't know me. anyhow, the pain yesterday and this morning is scaring me. some thing is very wrong. it's in my gut. it has never failed me. i still need to get an x-ray to see how my fusion is coming along. tomorrow, if i feel good enough to drive. something i should not be doing. i am returning to work with all this pain i feel will be interesting. i feel that the doctors were right at some diagnosis and very wrong with others. until i find the right answers to my unknown problem i remain very frightened. my sister is having her back surgery Friday, she already had her left hand palm to wrist replacing bone with a plate. both her and i suffer with similar situations. this could be genetic or not the chances i find shocking. i believe it is way too much of a coincident. all i can say is please someone listen to me, my body hurts all over, worse now than before. my life is under the mercy of medicine. that reminds me, a couple of days ago after standing a bit then out of nowhere i felt sick, needed to sit, took my blood pressure, it was 76/42 my daughter was with me. i had 4 of these experiences in the last 8 months thinking hot flash related only this time i took my pressure. i think i will take this one to the cardiologist. i am sure of one thing i know my body well. SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG. on a more interesting positive note going back to work is going to be fun. i think i mentioned i am a municipal worker for my former town a resident for 45 years and just have 7 years as a city employee never imagined myself a city employee i never play politics but because i am a very opinionated person and call you on your lie, an awful lot of it. i do get the respect when i am present however, when i gone the situation is different. i just recently moved out of that town into a neighboring town i am in a good position (ball in my court because of experiences i had with those in power) i failed to mention i am pleasantly red-flagged at my job so i am in for a lot of surprises that will hopefully take my mind of my pain. besides being opinionated i respect and honor the truth something I've learned is lacking in many systems in our society including the medical field. i hope all can be pain free will keep you updated if interested keep in mind i am new to the web world it has been a great experience so far it took me forever to write this.

Hi eva,

It sounds to me like you have inadequately treated pain that needs to be addressed - one way or another. Since you'll be seeing the doctors anyway, prepare yourself:

Google: talk doctor pain

Best wishes,

Doc

many good wishes of comfort
 

:hug:was on 30mg with 10mg breakthrough, then 20mg with 10mg. being a recovering alcoholic it is a concern. never abusing my meds, if anything, i could be my worst enemy. i am on so many medications i took it upon myself and stopped at 20 and 10, i needed to know what kind of pain i was going to be left with. i remain on the 10mg oxycodone HCL 5 doses in a day. i start with 20mg in the morning to get my body out of bed, it's never ending. thank you for your reply. i believe you are both right. i cannot return to work at the end of this month, something i was praying for. i feel as if life has stopped for me. again many thanks. keep the suggestions coming:hug:

thanks Lee,
my pain is constant, and being very aware of what could happen, is just another reason not to p/u. i do believe in my physical being that mentally we are blessed to use the tools we need to apply. having a nuclear stress test i sadly learned i had a silent heart attack. if anything i am aware of my body. to learn of the attack just confirms how a person should always ALWAYS have an advocate. IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT IN MY HEAD.

thank you, eva

Hi Eva -- I had a silent heart attack too !!! Thankfully it didn't do any permanent damage to the heart. But they've put me thru a battery of tests, and later this month I'll wear a Holter Monitor for 24 hours.

The added stress of chronic pain certainly doesn't help. If our doc's can at least keep us "relatively" comfortable (not pain-free) it would help matters immensely! :eek: But so often they're reluctant to prescribe the adequate meds needed.

NO it is NOT in your head, for heavens sakes. You have plenty of proof of that.

I wish you the very best. You're in my prayers. Hugs, Lee

keeping up thanks
 

hi lee;
hope all is well. thanks for keeping up. no call yet. spoke to one of the 10 or more women he has working for him, but the one that answers calls couldn't be any kinder. i last spoke with her this past friday, she let me go on. she assured me that she will once again attach yet another message with x-ray and report that i called awaiting fusion results, yes once again. she was sweet.

i have since the x-ray on 9-7-11 have very important decisions that must be made. last year on 9-20-10 a visit visit for myself at the er my sister had taken me into a nyc hospital, i was unable to return back at work the next few days, having time factoring everything that has been happening i on 9-22-10 took a 6 month leave from my job (municipal for 7 years full time with my insurance and work at stake). anyhow not fusing 1st time around i took a second consecutive 6 month leave for surgery#2 don't know how the fusing is coming along, FOR I STILL WAITING. he knows i had hoped to return working. 9-22-11 will be 1 year in total, and about to loose my job (with my insurance). my ssd covers all responsibilities as far as bills are concerned, but now i'll be forced to take roads i've never been on, getting insurance for myself my, 13 year old shouldn't have a problem getting medicaid but for myself, this should be interesting.

take good care! again thanks

eva