Cecilia heard me
 

She said i had an easy life and people helped me. I told her i had a very hard life and spend practically all my life by myself. since the stroke I can hardly read. I stopped talking to one person who I used to talk to almost every day because she thought I was crazy to name Abby after Abby my other /abbysian who died
Partially I believe that she couldn't handle my stroke. then I lost Mike who i talked with practically every night from suicide. another friend is having a very hard time lately and i used to speak to her frequently. since I have been so down I can't seem to say the right things-sh#t.
Now I am spending a lot of money and eating a lot.I am worried about money I still don't have a woman to work a second day. Today in cleaning i spilt used cat litter which I was changing. I spilled cat food when the top came off thebig
can. the harder I try the bigger the goofs.
I think Cecilia understood finally what a hard time I have been having. I think she spends more a month on her dog taking her to agility classes, trials and driving and motels than I spend in a month. I am happy for her. She said aren't I happy with God/ She doesn't believe in God. I said yes. All is for the good

I am glad that she heard you.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

You have had a lot of losses lately. I don't know how you feel, but I imagine that it all must be very hard. I'm happy that you took the time to explain to Cecilia how hard your life is, and that she seems to have heard you :hug::hug::hug:

she finally gave me an opportunity because she is so busy telling me what to do and about cleaning and throwing out things. I finally told her how bad things were and she finally heard me. I think if she doesn't disappear she won't be a cause of more stress.

I remember you said there had been some tension there for a while and you thought it was because she couldn't handle the stroke. Maybe since you talked about how that effected you, it will help her work through her feelings and she will be more emotionally available to you. I know she has been a good friend. :hug::hug::hug:

I don't think that was it but you could be right. maybe the stroke made her see me in a new light. last week she was really criticising me left and right, more than she has ever done before. I take it. It is nice taking a walk with sofia and then getting coffee a I really don't get itnd talking usually about nonpersonal things. then she said i looked elegant. I really don't get it. I have gotten a lot of compliments on my hair cut by the russian barbar in my building. yesterday a
young black boy who works at the bank said he liked my teeth and then said he liked my teeth. I controlled myself and didnt tell them they were fake. even this week the delivery woman from fresh direct said she liked my hair cut.
last night i dreamt i was going to have a dinner party with a special chocolate cake and i redecorated my apartment.

It is nice to have compliments!
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Sometimes it's hard to take compliments because we are hard on ourselves and can't see the good things about ourselves that others do :hug:

That sounds like a nice dream Bobby :)