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Hi, I'm new, but am struggling currently
Hello Everyone!!! I’m brand new here and just joined yesterday (October 15th) I am a young adult with a weird case and a different type of person. I tend to listen, but not talk at school, but when I’m with others who I know or am not directly in front of people, I can feel more open. I have mental health issues as well as physical issues and need to be able to “talk” to someone who I can be more open with. I’m very thankful that I found both PsychCentral and then NeuroTalk. It’s like a gift from heaven because I normally feel lost and don’t talk. I’m a great stuffer and bottler, but then eventually explode. I'm adopted and have no biological knowledge of my past. I just found out what really happened to me. I was told that I was found on the street being 14 days old and transferred into an orphanage. I just discovered though that I was actually found in the Emergency Room and had acute pneumonia and had to be hospitalized for about a week. I have always questioned who I am, why I’m here, etc because I don’t know my past which has led me to having a lot of problems lately and find it difficult to deal with both many emotional difficulties as well as unknown undiscovered physical difficulties. I have a very rare and unknown case. I have an extremely odd case of insensitivity of pain. I’m extremely pain tolerant, but doctors as well as I wonder why I’m still having such nasty pain. If a “typical” person was in my body without the abnormal high pain tolerance, they would be in so much pain that it’s difficult to imagine. I guess that it’s just another additive of me being one weird case. I went in for a nasty muscle biopsy which has had its long-term effects which are still occurring after 3 months of the surgery. The test is apparently abnormal. What is known is that my muscles are shrinking (I don't know why) and I have condromalacia patella syndrome (thinning of the knee cartilage). My biopsy has been rather interesting and keeps going to different groups of pathologists. Currently, I was just shipped off to Pittsburg. The abnormalities are apparently rare and I have seen about 15-20 doctors in the past 4 years. I really want to know what's wrong because it's both aggravating and disturbing to know that something's there, but cannot find a cure to. I tend to be anti-social in public, but always have my eyes pealed and ears open. I love to talk online and post with people who understand or can validate what's going on with me as far as symptoms go. I don't mix well with my family (mother, sister-also adopted, but not biologically related), but I love my dog and tend to be a loner. It is such a pleasure to find such great self-help sources here on PC and NT. Through using PsychCentral I have been able to improving my coping techniques and using more social skills with peers. Sorry that I just posted so much (opps!) Fondly, ~dance59326 |
Hi dance,
I don't know about the other members but I can't read that light turquoise color font very well at all. :( I hope you don't mind if I change it to a darker color. :grouphug: |
Hello Dance!
Thank you for opening up in your post! You will for sure find people to connect with here. I don't post much myself....but there are plenty that do and will be here for you when you need it (so will I when I'm here). Take care of yourself, and remember to have faith in your strength & ability to open up your life to others. There are way too many people in the wings rooting for you, all you need to do is ask!! |
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Welcome to our big group of caring people You do have a lot of problems. :hug: You know, you're the first person I know that has had an actual muscle biopsy. They don't do those too often. I know you're disappointed to have gone through so many doctors and tests and still no answers. That is frustrating. I don't know what to say. You seem young, but life has seemingingly been unfair to you. :( And although you don't feel "close" to your family it is still your family. If you're feeling distant, that's understandable. I tend to want to face difficult things so I can deal with it. I think you're facing your situation very bravely. If you know where you're at, that's half the battle. Okay. Let's take it as a given that you're adopted and that's not the ideal way to start your life off. But what if you're adoptive family hadn't taken you, wanted you and kept you. You would be somewhere, but where? Don't know all your situation but I'm not hearing any abuse here. That's something to be thankful for. Food, clothing, shelter, love, school, and medical care, if you're getting that, that's a lot to be thankful for. Not saying you're not thankful, but it really is a lot. Being young and unhealthy is not good. I feel like you got robbed here. not knowing what's going on with you is bad. Maybe the new group in Pittsburg will have a break in your case and give you some answers. When you have multi problems, it becomes complicated. Try to keep each health condition separate and ask yourself if each thing has been addressed to the best of their abilities. I've found there are no quick fixes for me. I have acquired patience. I've learned to relax just a little and not beat up on myself too much. Mental issues are not easy to live with. There are lots of struggles ahead just with those. I think you can get help and improve in this area. probably hard with so many unanswered questions but you can improve. To the extent that you can improve, you need to let that happen. Pain is bad to endure. I'm so sorry you're suffering in so many ways. Until you get answers, maybe be open to relaxation techniques, meditation, spiritual comfort, family love, with some trust and hope going forward into new hands for care and treatment. Lastly, if they don't know what it is, be careful not to grab at anything thus causing unforeseen problems. You're young, but you will have to guide yourself through these times. Learn as much as you can and ask questions and weigh the answers. you are your best advocate. I would also suggest you keep a diary of what you're going through, to refer back to. Keep us posted. We're here for you. No question is too silly. :grouphug: |
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Hi dance, and welcome to NT! We're so glad you found us! :) There are many caring, friendly, and helpful people here. It really is a great place. Look around, and feel free to jump in wherever you feel comfortable. |
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Welcome to NT!
I’m sorry for your suffering. As others here can testify, not knowing what is causing it can add mightily to the burden. Never feel the need to apologize for writing too much. We’re all here to listen. I understand how much easier it can be to communicate on NT than in the “real” world. I have a brain boo boo that makes it difficult for me to speak clearly. Even without that barrier, I’m not sure that “norms” would understand what I was saying anyway. Even my local support group is of limited value: this is a small area so there isn’t the anonymity one sometimes needs to talk openly. NT is full of wise, caring and inspiring people. I hope that you will find it a place where you can say what you need to say and feel that you are always being heard. Cheers |
hi dance and welcome,
i feel for your physical and mental pain. i've dealt with both in my life too. i found a great therapist and he has helped me so much to learn how to handle life's difficulties. you've gotten some great advice. i hope you find all you need here. again, welcome. |
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