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-   -   in need of relief, (https://www.neurotalk.org/epilepsy/117831-relief.html)

Morganomics 03-29-2010 01:34 AM

in need of relief,
 
Well, I feel as though I should share my situation so that perhaps some people out there have any suggestions.

At the moment I feel incredibly confused, and have quite a bit of pain, which seems to reside on the left side of my head. My emotions at the moment are very desperate and I feel I just need relief from both the psychiatric / cognitive symptoms and the pain.
In September I was tentatively diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy, yet further tests with my neurologist seem to say otherwise. I feel as though if I had the proper diagnosis it would be immensely better for diagnosis rather than shooting in the dark. I want desperately to feel better, I feel as though I am sinking in my own neurological mess. Financially things have been desperate for close to a year, I applied for SSI yet I was turned down for the 4th time. I'm curious as to what the proper diagnosis is, but more than that I really really need some relief and stability I haven't had that in my life for a long time, I've been battling this mess for years and I don't know what to do now, I cannot find a job, and I have terrible trouble staying coherent, things have been dreadful.
If in fact I do have TLE how common are psychiatric symptoms with epilepsy? My deja vu spells only occur once in a great while yet the so called interictal or confused states are ever present. If anybody out there experiences strong cognitive or psychiatric symptoms with TLE, what treatment has worked best for you? I don't care if my or the doctor's assumptions of TLE are correct, I simply want to feel some relief.
Thank you for being patient through my slight ranting.

Porkette 03-29-2010 03:47 PM

Hi Morganomics,
I have had TLE for 38 yrs. and if the right temporal lobe is being affected it can cause great emotional problems. You need to see a neuropsychologist who can do some tests on you and tell you what is going on. They can also tell you what area(s) of your brain is being affected. I have found that taking vitamin B12 1000 mcg. a day has been a great help to me. I also had brain surgery to help reduce my seizures back in 1994. To get the best help you should go to an Epilepsy Center and see an Epileptologist I've gotten the most help from them compared to a neurologist and I'm on fewer AED's (seizure meds.)
Another thing that helped me a lot is to keep busy so I didn't have so much free time on my hands. I'm sure you could get a job working in public school as a teacher aide or teacher assistant. I've been doing this type of job for 25 yrs. and you get good benefits. I found seeing a regular psychitrist just messed me up more. You should also have a WADA test done to pinpoint the exact cause and location of your seizures. Just try and think positive and remember there are others out in the world a lot worse off than us. Here's wishing you well and May God Bless You!

Sue

Morganomics 04-02-2010 01:39 AM

Thank you for your response. I'm scheduled to see the neuropsyciatrist The second week of April, and I am hopeful. One of the more stressful issues I deal with is the wait until I see the doctor again, and unfortunately nothing really seems to help.

If in fact I do have TLE it is the daily mood, personality, and cognitive issues that really need to be addressed, since they make it difficult to work and maintain relationships. I have a BA in fine arts so I can legally substitute teach in Indiana.

If you don't mind I'd like to share with you my symptoms and perhaps you might say "ah" I've experienced that.

I have a headache as well as a strange "pushing / dizzy" feeling on the left side of my head and only the left side all the time.
My thoughts seem to be forced like there is a painful forceful fearful force making it very difficult to think clearly and feel my sense of self clearly.
My thoughts feel frozen and I cannot act on my intuition, and soon enough I feel mentally arrested.

I also have depression and anxiety, which make being motivated difficult although I usually want to sleep the whole day to escape the dizzy confused state. I feel as though neurologically the depression and the possible TLE physical symptoms are related and are part of the same thing.

My body feels as though I always need sleep and I'm always trying to find a place or time to sleep.

Those are the main symptoms. I've been on a lot of psychiatric medications but only a few anti-epileptic meds including Depakote and Lamictal.

I'll start taking B12 vitamins as well as flaxseed oil.

My auras are as many describe, I get an overwhelming feeling of deja vu and in my mind I see images of shapes and colors that seem to have a deep meaning and that they've always existed and I am seeing them again.
I am left-handed and majored in art in College, simply because it was the one major I could excel at while feeling terrible. I draw, sculpt and build all the time. I suspect a little Geschwind's personality.

I wonder though if TLE is the right diagnosis as I don't want to have many unnecessary tests if I don't need or steer my doctor by biasing my symptoms.

If in fact the neuropsychiatrist I'm seeing confirms the diagnosis of TLE I will consult an epileptologist.
I'm just very frightened at the moment at how intense my symptoms can be with how long I've experienced them.

Thank you very much for replying to my post and perhaps you could give me some information you feel is necessary.

Thanks,

Harry

shezbut 04-02-2010 11:06 AM

**Harry**
 
Hi Harry,

Like Sue, I've had surgery as well. Mine was a left temporal lobectomy. They did do WADA test prior to surgery & discovered that my dominant language area is in the LTL as suspected (since I'm right-handed). It is a little tricky to operate on the area with the dominant language side. You being left handed, chances are that your language area is in the right temporal lobe.

The temporal lobe is greatly involved in our emotional world. Of course, all 4 lobes (on both sides of our brain) are interconnected, so vision and hearing can often be affected during a complex partial seizure. During a complex partial, we lose awareness of where we are, what is happening around us, etc. We may look awake and have an odd expression (commonly: intense fear, questioning) upon our faces ~ but we are unaware & vulnerable. Instinct does survive throughout the complex partial, thankfully, which is why some people are known to hit or swipe at people ~ when they feel threatened by others' behavior during the c.p.

Anyway...after my WADA test, doctors still decided to go forward with interictal surgery. Surgery in which grid and depth electrodes were placed inside of my brain. Waited a night, and seizures kicked in. Surgeons were able to see precisely where my seizure were originating and from there, determine whether or not the area could be removed. It was safe, in their opinion, and I had surgery. A big effect of my surgery was that I became more emotional. Emotions were intense ~ both up and down. Doctors theorized the cause due to my amgydala (the part that encourages us to eat, have sex, play, fight, run..) had the ability to be much more active than before (since my hippocampus wasn't stealing all of the LTL activity).

Oh, before I forget, epi's always consult with neuropsychologists for testing. Both before and after surgery. This is done to see if you can handle the surgery emotionally, intellectually (your IQ has to be at least "normal" or beyond normal- "gifted"), and then the testing after surgery determines what areas have been affected & to what extent.

I have suffered from depression most of my life, which was recognized during my tests. They (and I) hoped that control over my seizures would improve that area. My memory always sucked too. Big time! My memory is worse now, but it isn't continuing to steadily decline (like it would have had I simply continued with meds that weren't working). My emotional world has fallen apart, leading to both good and bad things. Bad: my 15-year marriage is over; my depression worsened to severe; BPD became more obvious. Good: I've started to accept myself ~ good and bad. I'm not there all of the way, but I have finally started to see what I've held back for 35 years!! Oh, and I finally got migraine medicine to help me through the intense migraines I've had for many years.

And you thought that your post was long! LOL Sorry! As you can see, it's all very complex. It is common for people with TLE to suffer emotional illnesses. It sucks, yes, but that's just the way it is. The positive side is that many people have TLE & lots of people have depression (as well as other mental illnesses). You aren't alone. Believe me ~ I seriously thought that I was completely alone for many years. No one in my "real world" could relate to what I was going through. It was hard! But, on the positive side, it helped me let go of who I really wasn't. I now live at an apartment building devoted to disabled people. All kinds of disabilities. I don't have to feel like I don't fit in, it's a perfectly comfortable fit for me. That's a huge positive for me!

Very best wishes to you ~ I hope that my post made sense to you & helps in some way. Take care!
Shez

Morganomics 04-03-2010 12:09 AM

Thanks Shez
 
Thank you Shez and Sue for your information.

I see the neuropsychiatrist on the 13th of April so, at that point depending on the diagnosis, I will try to see what I should do to move forward. I'm a bit anxious as to what they diagnose or suggest. It seems to be that if they say TLE has not been what I have been experiencing that I'll have many more questions and remain and square one.

You are right Shez TLE and how manifests itself from person to person differs greatly and so it seems a clear stereotype of symptoms is hard to find, which I'm guessing makes diagnosing difficult.

It hit 80 degrees this past thursday friday, for people with depressing or bipolar it seems the weather can do so much to bring one out of a bad spell.

The biggest things on my mind are managing my finances and trying to create a feasible treatment plan. I started a small furniture business that is bringing in a very marginal amount of money, but I really need something semi stable, although working is very difficult with the way I'm feeling.
So I'll just continue as best I can with your suggestions in mind.
That was quite interesting about handedness and language centers of the brain. I'll post a reply about my day at the doctors this coming week, hopefully we come to a good diagnosis and treatment that is my obsession and one day I hope to have other much more pleasant matters in my head.

Thanks,
Harry

Tattoo2 04-03-2010 11:17 AM

What Neuro meds have you tried, not psych meds but seizure meds? Depression and other misdiagnosed psych symptoms can go along with TLE, but if the seizures are congrolled/stopped, those pther syptoms can resolve hopefully. I would really encourage you to ask/tell your Primary Care Provider ( Not the neuros) to refer you to an Epilpetologist at a Comprehensve Epilepsy Center They are usually found at major medical centers. what area are yo in? That epleptologist can gfive you a Second opinion and maybe finally diagnose you properly as well as give you a treatment plan for your case. We all go through this waste of time with neuros who do not have all the tools needed to treat and diagnose is. They treat all neuro disorders, but we need someone with expertise in this illness. The Epileptologist is that doc. He/ She will have a certificate on the wall saying she/he has completed a Fellowship in Epilepsy or Neurophysiology. Thas is on top of their neuro Residency. Getting to this doc can make a difference in your life. I called those dizzy feelings "funny feelings". I also had deja vu too which are Simple Partial seizures. Do you ever feel lke you know the things in your home are yours, but it feels lke you are in some else's house? Have you ever lost consciousness even though you still were moving around etc? Ever lost bladder control? Mine progressed to Complex Partials where consciousness is lost even though still seemig to be outwardly awake etc. Many here have as well.
It is not at all a pleasant place where you are, and many of us have been there. I have. I know the frustration and despair you feel! Please tell your PCP to refer you to a Comprehensive Epilepsy Center. He will get a report of each visit because of the referral. Do not get the neuro to do this. He will NOT want to as he will lose a patient. It is your life however and is not about the doc. I had surgery 11.5 years ago for my Mesial Temporal Sclerosis or TLE. Hope this helps. I also added peanuts to my daily diet due to the natural progesterone that is associated with raising the seizure threshold. I also take low dose of Keppra with Tranzene as needed to decrease anxiety and add some antiseizure effects.Tattoo

Morganomics 04-03-2010 10:42 PM

Thanks for the advice
 
Currently I'm not on any meds, although I was taking Prozac and Librium, recently prescribed Perphenazine, yet no change in symptoms. I've taken depakote, lamictal, topomax and tegretol, I was on a therapeutic dose for both depakote and tegretol but not the topomax or lamictal. I had a terrible rash from the lamictal, which is sad because I thought it might have some beneficial use.

I live in Northwest Indiana near Chicago, which I can see the skyline from our beach and its quite beautiful. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for eleven years, switching every few years when I'm fed up with receiving no results. I know what I feel is more than just simple depression or anxiety and I want to be in control of my life, because I feel that I never have been.

I've seen three neurologist, all seem like empirical robots like they can't read between the lines and consider all of the symptoms as being from the same genesis. Thus one neurologist diagnosed me with narcolepsy, and migraines, while others simply advice me to see psychiatrists.
Luckily I have one very interesting psychiatrist who put all my symptoms together and diagnosed me with complex partial seizures or temporal lobe epilepsy. That diagnosis had been running through my head for at least three years, and my previous psychiatrist had suspected the same in 2007-2008. Unfortunately my current psychiatrist won't give me the AED only antipsychotics, which leave me even worse.

My Deja-Vu auras possible seizures occur at night. My heart begins to race and I start to get a funny feeling of euphoria, I feel like I'm floating with euphoria, and begin to see shapes and colors in my head that I feel I've always known as if they were there at my birth and I'm remembering my birth almost as if we all see god at birth and soon lose the amazing feeling it is to know a cosmic truth. I can calm down the event by getting up and walking. I've also had sleep paralysis with funny / frightening experiences, the one that stands out in my mind is the time I saw my mother how she was in the mid 70's before my birth with classic 90's gray aliens tapping at my window.

On New Years day 2000 I fell unconscious and had the strongest aura of my life. I felt as if I was having a head rush and fell to the floor. I was conscious or at least an altered form of consciousness trying to move past the strange deja vu experience along with strange perceptions of my movement like my limbs were moving quickly even though they were frozen.

I also have desperate daytime confusion and a desperate need for sleep, which I have had since a teen.

I feel like my thoughts are forced, its hard to make smart detailed decisions my thoughts are painfully forced and I feel I am sloppy emotionally, intellectually and motorwise. Currently I feel the left hemisphere of my head is in physical pain and feel my thoughts are distinctly unmistakably being forced from the left side. I've looked up forced thinking on google and have found a definition which matches my definition of the experience, but I am not sure if they are the same. I also have intrusive ocd like thoughts and have a love for art and design, which may be signs of Geschwind's personality.

My insurance won't cover my visits to the University of Chicago, which are quite expensive, but I've made and kept the first appointment anyways a terrible thing to do I know but I feel so desperate if I can get better then it was worth sidestepping the health insurance route.

I want to just get away or go to a safe place where I can be rehabilitated and released into the wild again. Financially my life is a wreck with many bills and student loans in repayment. I've filed three times unsuccessfully for SSI, so I've just quit the process entirely.
Well I believe I should end it there. Thank you for your advice as I feel even though it is good to read about TLE and mental illness on wikipedia or a reputable site, receiving advice from a person is wonderful.

Tattoo2 04-03-2010 11:23 PM

Please do not use the words TLE with mental illness. A psychiatrist will not treat your Neurological illness which the epileptologists can. The shrink treats psychiatric illneses. They are not the same thing. It is too easy to dump neuro problems in the psychiatric basket because they can't see it and really are not educated well enough in epilepsy to be able to tell the difference. Psychiatrists and most neurologists do not have all the tools available to treat it properly either. You wouldn't go to a General Surgeon for an operation on your heart nor would you go to a neurosurgeon who specializes in spinal cord injury and peripheral nerves for an operation on your brain. It has to be the doc with the right training. I have given you the best advice I know. Do what you have to to get to a comprehensive epilepsy center which as I wrote is to get your PCP to do the referral They also are the ones to deal with the insurance co to get them to cover it, not you. They paid for all of mine with the right referrals etc, so if the right people do it and give the right information, they prob will cover yours too. You do need your PCP to have a reason for the referral and you have that from three docs. I would be surprised if the ins co did ot pay for it. Docs office does that part. Good luck with that. You do seem to be having seizues, but until those are dealt with, your life should not change much. They get worse if not stopped, so it is important to deal with them specifically and stop them. If the psychiatrist and another doc has told you that they think you are having seizures, I'd be headed to fix hat problem with the right doc, epileptologist. I did not have any of this information for the majority of my life. It would have had a huge effect on my quality of life had I had this information years ago. It is now up to you. Good luck and let us know your progress. Tattoo

Tattoo2 04-03-2010 11:47 PM

These are Level 4 Epilepsy Centers in your area. You can go to www.NAEC.org to see the criteria used for them to be Level 4 members. Cleveland Clinic does good work. I went to MEdical College of Georgia. Other good places too. You have to check them out.

Northwestern Univ. Comprehensive Epilepsy Center
Northwestern Memorial Hospital Galter Pavilion 7-104
675 North St. Clair
Chicago, IL 60611 (312) 926-1673
Level 4 Epilepsy Center Med Dir: Stephan Schuele, M.D., M.P.H.
Admin Dir: Jeanne Toguri, RN, CNRN
Map


Loyola Comprehensive Epilepsy Program
Loyola University Medical Center 2160 South 1st Avenue
Maywood, IL 60153 (708) 216-9000
Level 4 Epilepsy Center Med Dir: Jorge Asconape M.D.
Admin Dir: Renata Glowka
Map

Christopher Randolph, Ph.D., Julie Manas

The University of Chicago Adult Epilepsy Center
The University of Chicago Medical Center 5841 South Maryland Avenue
Mail Code 2030
Chicago, IL 60637 (773) 834-4703
Level 4 Epilepsy Center Med Dir: John S. Ebersole M.D.
CoMed Dir: James X. Tao M.D. Ph.D.
Admin Dir: Susan Hawes
Map


Rush Epilepsy Center
Rush University Medical Center 1653 West Congress Parkway
Chicago, IL 60612 (312) 942-5939
Level 4 Epilesy Center Med Dir: Michael C. Smith M.D.
Map


Indiana University Comprehensive Epilepsy Program
Indiana University Hospital 550 North University Boulevard
UH Room 1711
Indianapolis, IN 46202 (317) 274-4974
Level 4 Epilepsy Center Med Dir: Vicenta Salanova M.D.

http://indianaepilepsyservices.iusm....ctivities.html Tattoo

Morganomics 04-04-2010 12:20 AM

willl head your advice and see an epileptologist
 
Wow thank you for the epileptologist links, I'm sure they will come in handy.

I agree with your statement that neurologists and psychiatrists aren't particularly the person to see for such a nuanced neurological disorder as epilepsy.

I still intend on keeping my appointment at the University of Chicago, if the doctor strongly believes TLE, I will contact an epileptologist, which I emailed back in September.
My psychiatrist wise to the fact that he might be able to diagnose my mood disorder and auras as TLE, but I believe an epileptologist will have the proper tools to more clearly understand and treat my problems.

Again I will keep you posted on how my visit goes with the neuropsychologist. From what you and others say seeing an Epileptologist is key to recovery so I will strongly discuss this with my doctor.
I'm glad that I'm not alone and I'm hopeful.

Thank you,
Harry


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