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My childhood, held many uncertain illnesses

I feel like I'm back in the days of my childhood, and the confusion.

I had everything there was. Never being a child it seemed. My mom did the best she could to let me be a child. But it was doctor this, and doctor that.

And I had diabetes for a year. Strict diet, then not. NO real signs of diabetes.

And I had epilepsy for almost 16 years. But the EEG's didn't show the seizures, or a abnormal EEG. But they treated me for it. BEcause I had
the classic signs. ANd the medicine I was put on took the signs away
most of the time. And all the sudden I was free of the symptoms and
seizures for 5 or so years.

So I got taken off at almost 16 and could drive. And then I wasn't even
having to report it. Gosh I was normal all the sudden. And had no clue
why I wasn't having this anymore.

Then I had a spot in my eye, that could put me blind. And its still there,
its never moved. But if it does. I go blind or they think I will. Gosh I just
watch it. And watch it.

I have a kidney problem, or they think I do. Not any real information ever given on this one. But it could cause the need for dialysis at some time.
I've always had to have the urine test. My primary does this test every
year as ordered. I'm fine, or so they say. I had two biopsies as a child.

I spent 5 years of 1 week in the hospital (Riley) for testing it was always
spring break week. Not anything coming out of the testing. NOt ever
a thing found to be a concern. But they wanted me checked out, its a teaching hospital so lets have her double checked. But this really made
the teen and child in me worry.

I also have a heart murmur, that I have to have meds for if I have any infection, or dental work. So this is really getting to me. Do I need something for what ever is going on right now. Who would have a clue.

I'm getting paranoid, I've been considered a liability by everyone that ever knew me. I couldn't get jobs, or go to college. My parents spent all there money on my health care.

Now Its like deja vu. I'm going through this all over.

I'm now a adult and my husband is reminding me, his mom didn't want
him to marry someone that needed medical help.

SO gosh when is enough enough.

I'm a strong person.

But its getting old. I wanted to be able to leave the past in the past.

I'm ready to start the psychiatric past again, its back and its time.

I spent my junior and senior years with headaches, that were supposedly
all in my head.

Broken bones at many times.

(migraines)

Donna

Oh Donna, your suffering just has to end soon. They have to look at what is going on and find something some answer that can help them treat these mysterious problems. You have had a hard life it sounds like and you should be able to find answers for this with your PCP. I really feel for you, I do. I hope you have answers soon. :(

Donna, I feel for you. It's been a rough road for you, but leave the past in the past. I don't like what your husband said to you, that must of hurt too.

Try and just focus on the now and look forward, live in the moment if you can, I try to. I know it isn't easy though.

Your a very strong person, that's for sure! Maybe it is time for a 2nd opionion as far as Dr's, or a real sit down talk with the Drs you have now.

Thinking of you and hoping this will all get better soon. You are in my prayers always.

Lots of Hugs, Nikko:hug:

Oh Donna,
makes me want to cry for you.
I am so sorry that you are going thru all of this and that your hubby doesn't sound too supportive right now....
I agree about sitting down with your doctors and possibly getting a second opinion
...since you have had kidney problems in the past, i still would ask about your adrenal glands that are right on top of the kidneys and have a lot to do in controlling your blood pressure.
I hope that you have a therapist or are getting one to help you cope with all that is happening to you.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))
bizi

Donna,

You have more than anyone should have to bear. Keep assurance that things will work out.

befuddled2

thanks, I haven't talked about my childhood in many years. But its always there somewhere in my thoughts. Its been buried and it was hopefully not
going to retrieve itself.

But its been back with a vengeance lately. So I really appreciate the listening.
Which I knew you ladies would listen and understand. I didn't figure out
till today that I believe its been my biggest fear that its the thing that
is coming. That its not going to be found the reasons.

And when it comes to my primary she honestly hasn't been given a chance
to solve these issues that much.

I went straight to a allergist/asthma doctor that she recommended. HE sent me to a pulmonist. Who sent me to a heart doctor.

I chose my neuro, whom I love. And then he sent me to my Physical therapist.

All the doctor's I am under the care of have done lots of test so far, its a toss up as to what all I've had. I get asked what all and I honestly have
no clue.

I'm guessing that maybe she has to go through the list to figure out what I've had done too.

So I will call my primaries office on Monday and see what she says too.
Or hmm, later in the week.

Donna

I am glad that you are going to call her on monday.
this sounds like a good plan.
bizi

((((((Donna)))))),

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v9...bears-mini.gif

Try to get your hands on this book: "Hands of Life: From the Operating Room to Your Home, an Energy Healer Reveals the Secrets of Using Your Body's Own Energy Medicine for Healing, Recovery, and Transformation" by Julie Motz.

She uses a combination of Therapeutic Touch, Reiki, and other techniques. She works at a lot of the top hospitals with some of the best-known doctors.

It's an interesting read. Women, especially, have their own way of coping with illnesses when they're children. Sometimes, they internalize them, like breast cancer or uterine cancer. Other times they internalize unresolved issues from caretaker-people in their lives -- Mothers, Grandmothers. You might find it helpful to read this and take notes. Take the notes to a therapist to talk it out real good.

Sometimes it's NOT *us* -- sometimes the people who were in charge of taking care of us just didn't have the skills necessary to take care of us and give us all the tools that we need to become strong, healthy adults.

Quote:

The Leaking Pot
by: Rutagengwa Claude Shema
Regional Coordinator
Great Lakes Peace Initiative (GLPI)

THE LEAKING POT

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on one
end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had
a hole in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered
a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the
stream to the house, the leaking pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer
delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of
course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the
poor leaking pot was ashamed of its imperfection, and miserable
that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made
to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure,
it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed
of myself, and I want you to throw me away and replace me. I have
been able to deliver only half my load because this hole in my side
causes water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of
my flaw, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full
value from your efforts."

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were
flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's
side? That is because I have always known about your flaw, and I
planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while
we walk back, you have watered them. For two years I have been able
to pick some of these beautiful flowers to decorate our table, and
many passersby have enjoyed them, too. Without you being just the
way you are, there would not be any of these beautiful flowers."

We all have our own unique flaws, but it is these flaws that
make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. We
simply ought to take each person for who and what they are, and
look for the good in them. And we can take pride and pleasure in
doing what we can without self-recrimination, because even leaking
pots may serve a useful purpose such as nourishing beauty.

BIG HUGS (and love). I hope you find your path and your answers.

Barb

syncopal brady cardia...decrease in heart rate from changes in posture....
B12 deficiency...(1000mcg over the counter)
orthostatic hypotension can be a side effect of certain medications...elavil being the biggest culprit...also tricyclic andtidepressants and anticholergentic agents as well.
The carotid arteries in your neck can effect your balance as well.
post prandial hypoglycemia, low blood sugar about an hour after a meal...
I already mentioned adrenal gland insufficiency, protein pump inhibitors....
I was at an inservice yesterday and all of these issues were discussed,
they had to do with aging and potential problems to assess...
jsut wanted to throw these out to you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

This is a link to a site with some more information about hypotension if you have not seen this before:

http://www.dizziness-and-balance.com...thostatic.html

http://www.diagnose-me.com/cond/C154575.html

bizi