Remembering my state of mind just before my accident
 

I went in to my office today to prepare to teach a class. It was a class I had prepared to teach the week before my accident three Septembers ago.

It is funny how pulling up the file on the computer and seeing the date on it triggered a very strong sense of how I must have felt in those pre-brain injury days.

It was a very strong feeling and I was overcome with emotion. I thought back to when I was preparing the course materials pre-brain injury and reflected that I would have had no idea that my life was about to change forever. I was in a very happy space, with such optimism for the future.

That led me to the feeling that as I was preparing today for tomorrow's class I have no way of knowing what tomorrow might bring. We only have the moment we are now living.

I hope nothing bad happens to any of you tomorrow or to myself for that matter!

I feel very sad tonight after that experience. On top of that my son was cleaning out his room and pulled out a box with some photos of me pre-injury. I look bright and alive in them. Not how I feel these days. I am sure there are some of you who share my emotions. I wanted to share this and wish everyone continued healing, personal growth and love. Carpe diem. It is all we have!

I distinctly remember before getting sick that I had made it. I would have the house, the car, and perhaps marriage and kids.

I wont put any definites on the future but it would be very shocking if I attained those now, 9 years later and with this chronic injury.

It is what it is.

Once again I add the disclaimer that I had multiple bad injuries and those of you who are new to the injury can make remarkable progress in the coming months.

The only good thing about this injury was meeting people like yourself on the board. A good, caring bunch.

I have grieved a lot of pre-accident days... my accident was on my sons 5th birthday... a day he will not soon forget and tells people all the time that his mommy's head was knocked around on his birthday in a car accident and it was the worst birthday ever... makes me sad but I know that one day I will learn to live with all of this and be able to be back to spending good birthdays with my kids!

".. my accident was on my sons 5th birthday... "

That is awful, Sarah. Hopefully the energy from the joy of your son being born can conquer the awful thing that has happened to you.

Wishing you continual improvement and hoping that someday you don't even think about your accident when the birthday roles around!!

Take care.