In Need of Advice
 

Hi There,

I was diagnosed with FMS about 7 years ago. I also have suffered with multipul concussions. I suffer from constand pain, memory loss, fatigue, lakc of focus, dizziness, lack of balance, mood changes, IBS, weakness, confusion, and a lot more. But the thing is as I'm sure you all know I look fine on the outside (minus my dark circles under my eyes 24/7) lol. But compared to other illnesses I'm perfectly fine on the outside but the pain I'm in and everything else is crippling. No One other than my mother who has FMS understands how I feel. What its like to just TRY to wake up in the am and then push thru the day. At least once I day I start to tear up cuz its all too much for me. I live with my boyfriend of almost a year and its so aggrivating that he doesn't understand. I wake up go to work come home cook, do the dishes, do the laundry, and all that. I have told him time after time that I need help doing things and that I can't do it all and he agrres to help. He'll do one thing a week (not helping). I have tried everyway I know to tell him how I feel how much pain I'm in just waking up....I've made comparisions, we've fought about it, I tried the spoon theory, all that stuff. He DOES NOT get it...noone does!

Please any suggestions on how to explain how much I hurt and how hard it is to get thru a day? I don't know how to explain this to anyone other then what I've been doing and that doesn't work. I need any help I can get about this! Thank You

Message not getting through
 

This is a common problem and has been covered in previous posts.

See here:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sh...letter+normals

Or search by "open letter to normals."

This was originally written by a friend of my daughter, and has now spread far and wide.

Nevertheless you will find that it wears off after a while, so don't expect people to change too much. They become a bit immune to severe illness because they just don't know how to incorporate it into their lives-it is just too hard.
Human nature I'm afraid. But at least you will know you aren't alone. Joining chat groups with similarly affected people is a good way to get some balance back.

Ask him if he's ever had a severe cold or the flu and felt like he couldn't get out of bed for a few days or a week. Then remind him you've felt like that for 7 years.....and HAVE gotten out of bed.

The struggles over household chores are something that every couple living together has to work out. Chronic illness adds to that....usually meaning the 'healthy' partner needs to do even more than what typically be their "fair share" It sounds like you are asking him for help with 'your' chores. How did all of this get 'assigned ' to you ? He needs to understand that HE has chores.....and that if you have a bad day then he also needs to help with your share of the chores. Too tired from the day and no help with chores equals too tired for night time activities. If that doesn't sink in, he's beyond help.