"Let's get some coffee."
 

I've got another NUCCA appointment today...my friend that normally takes me there is busy today so I had to call an old buddy of mine for a ride. He's asking to show up early so we can hang out and maybe "get some coffee". He knows about my injury but doesn't know how severe it is and what my limitations are. I just had to text him and tell him I'm limited to what I can do. I said that if I've got an appointment that's about all I can handle...which is sad, but true. If I try to do something like catch up with an old friend before the appointment it will wipe me out before I get there.

So, I'm embarrassed. I think this might be the first time I've been embarrassed since the injury because I've done a pretty good job of avoiding people. He is still insisting on picking me up 30 minutes earlier than he needs to.

I don't like people to see me like this. I've done a great job of avoiding people so i can hide out like a hermit and maximize my recovery.

I don't know how severe everyone's symptoms are here and how much they can handle, but for the people that can only handle doing one or two things before getting wiped out, how do you handle a situation like this?

I'd love to catch up with the guy but its important that I'm able to function at this appointment.

Just tell him you're embarrassed about it. That's what I do and I think it helps people know how I feel.

And let him know that catching up before an appointment isn't always the best, but you might be able to after the appointment, depending on how you feel.

Tell him that recovering from a brain injury takes a lot of energy, so people in recovery are a lot more tired than usual and unable to do as much as they could before the injury.

And then tell him that because you're energy is so limited, that doing things that aren't pertinent might not be good for you recovery, that on some days, catching up might take energy away from having the energy to eat or shower and that when you then do those things, it takes energy away from the brain healing itself which prolongs the process.

Hopefully then he'll understand.

Some of my friends don't really understand either, but they at least accept what I tell them and try to understand it.

I think him arriving 30 minutes early is ok, because it allows time to get ready to go. But I'm slow and I live in LA, so I need buffer times like that...

I think Esther has great suggestions. And maybe tell him that because the appointment is priority, hanging is out isn't so great today, but you could get together another day when you don't have something "big" like that going on. You might also need to suggest some things that you have a better chance of tolerating than a coffee shop, like "sit in my living room and talk." :)

I think I'd just ask him to have coffee afterwards, that way if you fall apart, he can see for himself that you don't have much to give right now. Might help him for any future times too. It might be embarassing at first but there's nothing quite like your body telling people "no" when they won't listen to you saying "no" in the first place.

Thanks everyone!!

I used a little bit of everyone's suggestions and things turned out pretty well. He was very understanding and he even offered some suggestions to me during the drive up there. He asked if I wanted the music on or off, told me to close my eyes if the traffic is bothering me and asked if he was being too loud. His wife is a nurse and before he picked me up he spoke with her about brain injuries and she filled him in.

I FEEL GREAT AFTER MY NUCCA ADJUSTMENT!!!!

You need to nurture that friendship. His understanding will be very helpful.

Good for you.

Did you ice after?

I'm actually icing right now as I write this. I mentioned icing to her during my appointment and she said that icing is good but for no longer than 20 minutes.

I'm watching shows streamed from my laptop to my TV right now with little to no problems....I LOVE IT.

Yay for a good chiro! Yay for a good friend! Yay for a good head! Sounds like you hit the trifecta today :)

Wow, I actually had to Google that (trifecta), I've never heard that before lol.

Yeah its great...I'm still broken but both times I've walked out of there I feel like I've got a tune-up done. I was able to watch almost a whole episode of something!! Before, I would be spaced out and mentally exhausted after 5 minutes.

Time for some good old fashioned rest now.