I am still struggling
 

My GP said it was normal to have a hyper reaction to stress after an accident. But this long?

I am constantly on the verge of anxiety or rage. I am pretty sure I am hypomanic. And the dark little depression is setting in. (typical spring is coming reaction for me.) Pretty much a mixed state.

Logic is in here somewhere. Knowing what is happening and knowing what to do about are two different things though.

I feel like a yo-yo.

Part of it is the girl stuff. The other part is just being on constant alert for danger. I also think alot of it has to do with the prolonged pain. My hubby thinks that its not so much the whiplash, he thinks its a fibro flair. He is usually fairly perceptive, so I will have to agree with him.

Just venting. If it gets worse, I call the pdoc. I am trying to wait it out. I am not dangerous, just crazy. LOL You all know what I mean.

I am trying not to withdraw inside myself but it is really difficult.

sigh.

I hate this crap.

Dear Bear,
I wish you were feeling better.
I guess that it takes as long as it takes.
Can you rest more? Stop most of your activities and stay in bed or on the couch?
Can you come home early each day this week and go right to bed?
You family will support you. They sound like a good bunch.

Why do we wait it out when we could call the dr? I don't know.

Get well.
Mari

He Ms.Bear,

I'm sorry to hear you were in an accident. I didn't know until now. I can symphasize with you as I have been in an accident that had me in pain. Here's a cyber hug for you. {{{{{Ms.Bear}}}}}

befuddled2

Dear Bear,
You continue to have a lot of stress, especially at work.
I wish also that you could slow down a bit.
hugs to you my dear
((((HUGS))))
bizi:hug:

I am so sorry to hear you are having to deal with this huge amount of stress.

It seems like PTSD, and it takes time to get over it, as time goes on it does ease up, at least for me it has somewhat.

Get some R & R. Hang in there, thinking of you.

Hugs, Nikko:hug:

it seems like post traumatic stress to me too...paxil is supposedly good for it..it does take a very long time...after my explosion I was such a wreck and was in limbo...the whole thing was surreal....can you write a story about your accident...and go back to it...you had faith and faith was the only way I managed to dig myself out years later. It was a feeling faith....not an intellectual faith...sort of like Kierkegaard's divine leap..
I am holding hands with you now
Bobby

PTSD, once again. It would make sense since I seem to be pre-disposed.

Thank you for your hand, Bobby. Thank you for your hugs, Nikko, bizi, Befuddled. Ah, Mari. Doctors scare me. They push drugs on me like candy, and I don't want anymore.

I tried to meditate through a HUGE panic attack yesterday and I ended up thinking about the wreck. So I made myself see myself in the car all crumpled up. It did not help at first. I freaked.

But then I made myself see how I am now. See me getting out of the car and that I really am physically fine. I walked away with a few bumps and an abrasion.

So, I kinda wrote a story in my head. I will have to take a few minutes when I freak and just make myself see that I walked away.

I think it was better that I didn't see the 4Runner after. But I am curious. I think that if I had seen what happened to the car, I would have had that picture in my head instead of the ER guys getting me out safe.

Plus, I had to talk to my ex over the weekend. The boys got in a fender bender and the cops took 2 hours to process the scene. It was a joke, and the cops were harrassing the boys, so all the parents drove over to the scene and instantly the kids were let go with a warning. sigh. More trauma.

One thing at a time, I guess. One moment at a time. It helps to know that you all are here. And it helps to see that others are on the same path as I am and they are making their way out.

I remember you talking about the explosion, Bobby. It was alot to process. I think you are doing remarkedly well, and I will follow your advice.

Panic Attacks are so frightening. I am not saying to take any drug, but something for anxiety would be good right now, to stop the panic attacks.

I have to take something, or I would be in one big PANIC.

If you do get something, don't wait till the panic attack occurs, take as directed so the panic attack won't occur.

Just my experience, maybe it will help.

PTSD is awful, I didn't even know that - that is what I was/am experiencing until the Doctor told me, before that I thought I was losing my mind.

Hugs, Nikko:hug:

So sorry to hear about the accident. I was in one inn 1999, but it took years for all the damage to show itself, so be on the lookout for any signs - numbs hands, arms, feet, legs, nerve pain, anything unexpected that starts slowly and BUILDS - that's what happened to me :( . Use heat, or even iice, if that feels better; whichever works for you.

Baby yourself, take care! Jacquie

It's kinda hard to notice "extra" stuff. I already have numbness and tingling down my left arm and weak, saggy muscles down the entire left side of my body. Cymbalta helps, but I break through when the fibro flairs.

Which it is doing right now. sigh.

I just wish I could calm down. I hate being mixed. Ragey and cagey. too funny if it weren't me. :rolleyes:

I hate the benzos. They make me forget to breath and I grind my teeth. But they help. I will try to take them at bedtime for awhile, but I can't take the 3 a day the pdoc rx'd. I get too grogged out. I take little teeny valuims. Klonopin looped be WAY BAD. And I can't work that way.

I have logged on 3 times this week and just can't say anything. Today is the first day because other people here are in so much pain, I just want to comfort them and hold them.

Pretty depressed today. This is the first time in this adventure where I am recognising the crash but I still feel helpless to stop it. I just want to cry constantly. At least I can keep myself from crying, so the meds are still working.

The worst part is the self-depreciating thought process. I feel SO bad about myself. Damn, I hate that. Things I did and said 20 years ago float through my head and I feel like the worst person ever. I can't remember crap until I am depressed and then it's all the bad stuff. Funny-odd how that works.

Wes's therapist asked how I was, and I lied. I said I was fine and everything was ok. I don't want to tell my husband how bad it is. He has a little history with an ex-wife that undoes him when it comes to the psyc stuff.

Thanks for listening to me. It helps. I don't think I could say stuff like this to anyone here.(meaning home)

Thank you.