Like A Newborn Baby here, but Feel Sick N' Tired
 

Hi everyone,

I am sooo very sorry for all of this pain that I feel coming through to me like a ton of bricks on this site. I sooo feel what you are talking about and it kills me to see that SSA doesn't see it. I wonder what happens when it one of them or their families get sick (I mean no harm), it's not their fault, it's the system and the politics and those who play that game!

Anyway, I am here today because this site is amazing, filled with loads of information. I decided that this seems a good place to start with my questions. I don't feel like wasting my time with asking lawyers that you call for free advice; all it seems is that they want your money or ask you "what's going on with your case?" and still don't know the answer (or they won't tell you). Okay, enough mumbling - I love to write. It's that and my love for my higher power that's kept me going.

I am writing because my case was sent to SSDI by my case worker with the helps of my mental health facility (psychologist's office/psychiatrist). The paperwork was filled out, 3rd party completed although I didn't have the strength at the time to fill out my remarks. I was in tremendous pain and depression. Anyway, this is all due to the fact that I was run over by my own car trying to save another person's life by jumping into the car (1989 Mercedes Benz 300SE) and the force was too much for my little 5' 5" frame, about 125 pounds. I tried to put my foot on the brake and luckily the passenger door was still open and I held on all the while being dragged downhill 25 to 35 feet on my back underneath the bottom of the door and the gravel ground. I let go right before I was to be smashed in between the door and my neighbors house in front of mine; if I had not I most surely would have either bitten the bullet or been seriously injured. Which I would up being anyway but didn't know it until later. Anyway, the right back tire grabbed my foot and ran over my upper portion of my body, while my back and lower portion of my body was being smashed and run over under the car. I didn't feel a thing! I believe I blacked out. I just remember getting up and saying "is everyone allright?". I remember getting into the ambulance and feeling happy that I was alive. All my vitals were fine! They said no broken bones, nothing was wrong. The next day however, I was in severe pain and went to my doctor for follow-up. The hospital said I was fine and there was no need to do an MRI. I was like, I don't care, just get me home to my kids. I wasn't thinking. And my friend who was with me, didn't demand it, so on my medical records, I don't think it read as if I was a trauma patient because I wasn't dying! And I didn't feel any pain, so they just said you are really blessed and sent me home. I thought that was wrong and that they should have kept me overnight for observation. It turns out I had a concussion. I also ha a leg injury, left knee and foot. Some abrasions. Also, my back was killing me. So was my entire body. However, I was alive.

As the months progressed, so did my pain. So did my problems. Left knee swelled constantly. Pain, pain, pain! All over, and at 41 years old, I watched my life go down the tubes. At this point, I have no job (attempted to at least six times), am homeless with a daughter who has Asberger's Syndrome, a severely asthmatic son and a mom (me) who can barely take care of them. Even though my son is 17, all he has is me. His dad never comes to take him anywhere, except for an occassional haircut. And my daughter, her beautiful soul has kept me going. I lived with my ex husband
until last September but I could not take him anymore because he expected me to take care of him and refused to take me to the doctor and when he did, he was inpatient and a jerk! Anyway, I don't want to harp on that, but I had hardly any support and my depression got worse (which I have a long history with, that anxiety, PTSD, Bi-Polar Disorder, Panic Attacks and a heart arrythmia). All of this is well documented and shown that I went to the doctor for physical therapy 3x per week at times when I felt well and when I didn't, I went at least once a month to the doctor for five years at least. At least seven docs, both mental and physical sent their records in, and my PCP sent his in with an actual letter stating why I couldn't work (knee gives way, can't walk without assistance of a cane, walker, knee brace or combination). I have severe spinal trauma which was just MRI'd in June '08(non-contrast) and contrast MRI in October, '08. It showed the following:

L4-5 3mm broad based disc buldge with midline annular tear. There is mild faccet arthropathy and thickening of the ligamentum flavum (whatever that is) and mild bilteral lateral recess narrowing.
L5-S1, there is 2mm broad based disc bulge and mild facet arthropathy and disc desiccation (disc disease/degenerative) which I failed to list on my case. Minimal narrowing of the lateral recess is seen.
Note is made of equivocal L-5 pars defect. Further CT scan needed.
Spinal femonil stenosis is on the MRI without contrast along with other stuff like it.
C-4 Mild signal loss (before MRI)
Arthritis
Chronic Pain (especially left knee and lower lumbar spine/back)

They failed to look at the rest of my back during the contrast MRI, even though I complained of middle and upper back pain as well as neck and shoulder pain. And I have no idea what all of the above really means. I just know it hurts. And I'm on some serious pain killers, anti-inflammatories and the works. Oh, well. I didn't put that in my list of impairments, however, it was sent with the doctors notes. And, it was included with the doctors when I went to see the states doc's. I saw a psych doc who said "I hope you feel better and the physician who said, I am so sorry this happened to you. He checked my legs and I had no reflexes. He looked perturbed and checked it three times. He stopped and said, I'm finished here. This poor woman; this is a legitimate case. He gave me an EKG and let me go. He looked upset; I cried. Because my life has been downhill since the accident. It's not like I hadn't had problems or issues before the accident, however, at least I could work. And work I did. I have enough credits to share some. I would if I could.

Anyway, now, to the case. It was sent to Quality Review on August 25, 2009. My anaylyst told me to call her on 2 weeks, today. I did. She told me to call my worker and gave me her phone number. I couldn't get a hold of her but, I knew something had changed when I called the 800 #. First, when I gave my address, the woman asked me for the mailing address this time. Never before had they done that. She also told me to be patient, give them 2-3 weeks and I'd have my answer in writing because she couldn't relay anythng by phone. She also said that it was "in development". All of this could mean nothing, but it could mean something, too. I'm going to look at it like it does. For it to go to QRB, it was approved. Hopefully, they agreed. It's at the local office now. And to me, if it was not approved, why send it to the local office. Why not just send me a letter from there? I guess whether it's approved of disapproved, it winds up at the local office. The local office has to do all of their footwork, I think, like if it's approved, look into how much the award will be, etc. Why would it take 2-3 weeks to send me a disapproval letter. I was told that the case is finished now. No one else needs to approve or disapprove it. I know, I have many questions, but I'm just wondering????

I just want to know, how do you think this sounds? What is your opinion? I am not going to stick it to you if it's not favorable because I know how these things work, don't worry. I just want to know if I'm feeling what you guys are. And you all seem to be okay to me!

Anyway, I don't know what else they need to approve this case. I am in chronic pain, treated with meds and anti-depressants. This accident has took me for a loop and then some. It has not gotten better and although I had appointments with the ortho doc before, I couldn't make it because I was ill. So, my next one is guess what, in February, next year!. Because of the type of insurance I have. If you have any ideas or answers in regards to the aabove, please i

Well, now that my book is written, I'm signing off. I hope you can help and God bless you! Any answers would be great! Thank you

SickNTired but alive! And here to tell about my story. Good luck and Godspeed to all of you.

Welcome to NT

I do believe you, and it is a very bad situation. You're not crazy.

You're among many friends here, with like stories to share.

You have too much to bear alone. You can lean on us. :grouphug:

You do have a lot of abnormal findings on MRIs. I have read and heard a lot of MRI readings (court reporter). Don't have a lot of time this morning but have explained lots of that in old posts in reply to others.

My best suggestion to you is to contact your US Congressperson. Relay the same info as you did here and ask them to help you with your SSD claim. If they're worth your vote, they'll help you. Inform you of what's going on in your case at least. It will come, when I don't know, but with backpay. so be patient. You are deserving of an award. I know you need it now. I hear they're working faster on decisions these days.

You can only eat a whale one bite at a time, and you have a big whale to chew on. You do need a lot of support to help you with your problems. Just take one step at a time. It will take a long time to get straightened out to some kind of normal life for you and your family.

I personally don't know how you're doing what you're doing. You may have to ask other people in your life for some help to get you through. There should be a few willing to help with something. I would be willing to help a family member, neighbor, friend or acquaintance with your situation. I'm sure it comsumes the biggest part of your day trying to figure out how you're going to do what needs to be done. I'm sure it adds to your anxiety and depression state of mind. Vicious cycle. Take relief where you can, if there's any to be had.

We have Big Sandy Valley Transportaiton system here that will take people to doctor appointments and medical facilities for therapy and the like. It's for those who don't have finances and resources. Are you getting all the help you can from sources like that. Meals on wheels, home health aids and nurses - through the health department. Ask them what they have available, then ask them again what they have available. I've found you get different answers.

There was a thread on money saving tips. one was make your own laundry detergent. Might try to find that thread or if someone can help with that please give her the link. It had lots of good tips on it.

Keep in touch and ask us whatever you need to. We'll yak about anything. You'll find this bunch very helpful. We've been through the mills too. :grouphug:

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Hello SickNTired, and welcome to NeuroTalk!

I'm so sorry for all you've been through. I know that the Social Security process can take what seems like forever.

I am posting some links of forums to help get you started. I wish you all the best.

Social Security Disability:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum28.html

Chronic Pain:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum10.html

Spinal Disorders and Back Pain:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum22.html

Depression:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum37.html

Check's in the mail
 

Well, guess what my new friends, I just got paid. Well, technically speaking it's not in my hands, but, it is on it's way. My back pay check is on it's way - sent on the 8th of September and includes only one year, although they said my date of entitlement was 10/18/05. Guess it will be here in about seven days or so, said my worker. However, they said because I failed to file anything prior to June, 2009, they only have to go back one year! Well, I am not going to look a gift horse in the mouth because first of all, I'm going to receive this money without the assistance of an attorney (I never used one, but I called everyone and their mama to get make sure my medical records were sent in. I also had a good letter from my PCP, everything like I said was very well documented It was a strong case based on medical evidence. Anyway, I am almost in shock. I haven't cried nor laughed a lot. It feels weird. Like I'm in some sort of time warp or not in my body...guess it's a side affect of being sickntired but, not so much anymore. I still have my issues as money will not take those away. That is the kicker, right? Also, I am happy that my children will get their money as well. SSA called me and told me this and even set it al up for my children over the phone. However, and I don't want you guys to think I'm greedy, but I thin I'm entitled to all back pay from the date of entitlement? I made two attempts over the phone at filing for SSDI in 2008 and 2008 but was too sick to follow through. I am still sick. Don't you think that my kids had nothing to do with me not filing; they should still be entitled. They couldn't pick up the pen and do it themselves, so they at least should get all of what is due from the date of entitlement. I believe I should be as well. Again, please excuse me if I sound ungrateful in any way because I am very grateful. To God especially and to you who listened and to my friends. I still can't believe that I was one of the very blessed twenty something percent to thirty percent who receive their benefits on their first try! Hence why I also think that I should be entitled to my full back pay, even though I failed to follow through on filing. I may appeal, I may not. I'm just not sure. Any suggestions? Should I let sleeping dogs lie? I got a pretty good settlement amount. We are homeless, so I'll finally be able to put a permanent roof over our heads as well as have a good, steady income which is pretty substantial as well. Jeez, what's a girl gotta do to get some feedback or some friends around here :)! Just kiddin', take care and God bless. Hope to hear from someone..anyone, hello, are you there? Goodnight and good luck to all who are fighting this tough fight. I know it's hard, but hand in there. It's depressing but, that's because the devil doesn't want us to have anything to what we are entitled. It doesn't know, but for what we are entitled,, this is what we can have, so says the Lord.


Take care!

Check Is In The Mail, I'm in shock!
 

But, I also believe in a highter power. My brother died of Aids in September of 2000, a few days after his birthday of September 9. So, I believe that September 9 that my brother and God were talking. They were having a very deep conversation about how his sister really needs help. Thank you, Phillippe', and of course, my saviour, Jesus Christ!

Well, guess what my new friends, I just got paid. Well, technically speaking it's not in my hands, but, it is on it's way. My back pay check is on it's way - sent on the 8th of September and includes only one year, although they said my date of entitlement was 10/18/05. Guess it will be here in about seven days or so, said my worker. However, they said because I failed to file anything prior to June, 2009, they only have to go back one year! Well, I am not going to look a gift horse in the mouth because first of all, I'm going to receive this money without the assistance of an attorney (I never used one, but I called everyone and their mama to get make sure my medical records were sent in. I also had a good letter from my PCP, everything like I said was very well documented It was a strong case based on medical evidence. Anyway, I am almost in shock. I haven't cried nor laughed a lot. It feels weird. Like I'm in some sort of time warp or not in my body...guess it's a side affect of being sickntired but, not so much anymore. I still have my issues as money will not take those away. That is the kicker, right? Also, I am happy that my children will get their money as well. SSA called me and told me this and even set it al up for my children over the phone. However, and I don't want you guys to think I'm greedy, but I thin I'm entitled to all back pay from the date of entitlement? I made two attempts over the phone at filing for SSDI in 2008 and 2008 but was too sick to follow through. I am still sick. Don't you think that my kids had nothing to do with me not filing; they should still be entitled. They couldn't pick up the pen and do it themselves, so they at least should get all of what is due from the date of entitlement. I believe I should be as well. Again, please excuse me if I sound ungrateful in any way because I am very grateful. To God especially and to you who listened and to my friends. I still can't believe that I was one of the very blessed twenty something percent to thirty percent who receive their benefits on their first try! Hence why I also think that I should be entitled to my full back pay, even though I failed to follow through on filing. I may appeal, I may not. I'm just not sure. Any suggestions? Should I let sleeping dogs lie? I got a pretty good settlement amount. We are homeless, so I'll finally be able to put a permanent roof over our heads as well as have a good, steady income which is pretty substantial as well. Jeez, what's a girl gotta do to get some feedback or some friends around here :)! Just kiddin', take care and God bless. Hope to hear from someone..anyone, hello, are you there? Goodnight and good luck to all who are fighting this tough fight. I know it's hard, but hand in there. It's depressing but, that's because the devil doesn't want us to have anything to what we are entitled. It doesn't know, but for what we are entitled,, this is what we can have, so says the Lord.


Take care!

Hi Sweetie, You have more than your share of challenges and so many of you can relate to how things keep snowballing. The domino effect can really flatten you. You have been such a trooper-fighting to the best of your ability. I am going to reach through the screen and give you gentle hugs.:hug: Oh,BTW, I usually hand out 20's-but since you have a check ont he way, I will give you some of the brownies I made for BMW.:hug:


I am glad to hear you like to write. Look the forum over and you will find some places to share your writing with us. (PM me if you have questions.)

Today is a new day. Now that you have your money on the way-I'll bet a GOOD Domino effect will happen. Grandma Sue

Welcome!
 

Wishing comfort and blessings to you!:hug: I hope this is the start of an easier rode for you and your kiddos!

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YEA... THAT WILL TAKE CARE OF A LOT FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. USE IT WISELY.