Family relationships after a suicide attempt
 

Hi. I am interested in hearing from as many people as possible about how families successfully and unsuccessfully deal with a suicidal family member after an attempt. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Hi mam32 glad you found us and want to welcome you.
To answer your question ....
I first attempted in high school after my father passed away at home had massive heart attack . anyways .
then it was just my mom my twin bro and one of my other bros and me... My mom got me help then... I went to talk to councilor and and she let the school know about my dark thoughts and such. I learned coping skill and safe things to do other then self injury. i was on meds Joining track and field also helped me back then it was a way to use my anger and energy to compete and also helped by making me feel like part of something..a team.

my last attempt ...I was...am grown in my 30s then 2 kids of my own and hub... I went threw many talk doc until I found one I could talk to one i felt I could trust and be honest with. I was on meds again for depression. My family just wanted me to get better and wanted me to reach and get help. they adjusted their routine and bent anyway they could for me . mostly THEY LET ME KNOW THEY LOVED ME NO MATTER WHAT. they showed it in different ways . and showing me they loved me proved they cared and needed me. I found writing my thoughts down was healing ..I would keep journal and show it to doc when I went .
I hope I am helping and that I understood your question...but i have a feeling I am kinda off base with what your wanting for an answer.
..maybe I can ask ..How old is that person are they male or female? did something happen to cause this.? I ask cus first time was passing of dad and hard time in school with other kids and the last time mine was from accident and sever pain .
anyways I think it best if I let some others provide answers.... I just hope something I wrote helps.
maybe you could allow that person to come here and chat with others who have "been there" or maybe get them into a group counseling thing. I want to say get rid of any guns and other things that could be used to harm or kill but I might be out of line... sorry.
I am praying this family member reaches out gets help and finds healing peace soon.
You are a great for searching and trying to help.... never stop doing that! Blessing to you.:hug:
PEACE
BMW

Hello and welcome. I've been in both places, after my obvious unsuccessful attempt my some of my family was critical. I had a parent that thought it was ok to demean my feelings to other family. I felt that it really would not have mattered if I had succeeded, which I did for many many years. I sometimes still feel as if my life could just end and be done, but I will not deliberately take my life.

To answer your question, however. When one experiences such emotions it is hard to explain why one wants to take their life, or understand. If a person has never experienced such depression or despair to the point of all hope being lost it is hard to understand. I have friends that died because they chose to end their lives. I've heard all the statements, 'being selfish', 'sick', 'trying to get attention', 'being stupid', and the list goes on.

Family and friends are left with questions they are afraid to ask, why..what did I do, what could I have done, what should I do. There are no easy answers, I think you have made a step in the right direction by coming here.
You are trying to find answers hoping things will be better, you have to trust they will be. You also have to realize and trust that no one is 'guilty' when suicide occurs, not the person left behind nor the loved one gone.

I hope you find the answers you need and I look forward to reading your comments. Again Welcome.
COK/Momma/Patricia

Hi Mam and welcome to the forum. The reactions to a suicide attempt are as varied as the ways people attempt this. Family members always have opinions...shock, anger, shame, denial, disgust.....hopefully they will talk to each other with love and understanding.

While we can't let someone hold us hostage to their threats of suicide, we have to understand the hopelessness that person is feeling....they want the pain to end, they want peace...they don't necessarily want to die. :hug:

I always say that people cannot help you if they don't know how you are feeling. Please click on and read my signature.

I am going thru this right now. My husband tried to shoot himself in the head almost two weeks ago and survived. He has been thru 4 surgeries and will require more. I have two childern that I have to be strong for. I am having a very difficult time with this. Our marriage was not strong before he did this and I do not know what the outcome will be. There is a big part of me that wishes this act would have been finished. This road to hell is alot worse. I feel that there would have been closure and I could move on with my life, but now everything is up in the air. There is so many emotions! I am sick of people telling me at least he survived. Well they do not have to look at him everyday with the scars from surgery and the bullet wound to the head.

I tried to get him help in the past and did not go for it. People are saying maybe this is the second chance he needed to get help but I personally do not think it will work.

I would like to hear from women that have gone thru this as well and what they did.

Sadgal, I am so sorry that you are in this nightmare. I can understand that you would feel relief had he succeeded.

Failing in a suicide attempt happens so often and the fallout can impact families lives forever. There was a long time poster who's daughter failed in her suicide attempt and she's been left to care for her for the rest of their lives...and the daughter may out live her mother. :( I often think about them and wonder how she is managing.

Our son succeeded with his gun and changed our lives forever.

How old are your children? Please know that there are a lot of people here who care about what you are having to go through. Again, I am so sorry.

Attempted suicides
 

Just this week my mom tried to commit suicide! I can't even start to work out how I feel about this. Anger was the first and so far strongest emotion but since then I seem to have lost touch with my feelings altogether.

There is a lot of depression in my family. While drinking one night my sister started trying to commit suicide but luckily came to her sences before making the real attmpt but she was tied to the rope which was tied to the balcony railing and she was on the wrong side of the railing, so that it what I mean by "close" to doing it.

I was also drinking when I made my feable attempt. My sister and I got into a fight and my husband went looking for her so I was alone when I popped 8 sleeping pills not realizing that was insufficient to do the job.

Both my attempt as well as my sisters are secrects from everyone but our husbands and each other. But since my Mom's very real attempt I am fearful that she or one of us will try again! What do I do because I am in S.A. and can't afford therapy.

Your message
 

I too am wanting the same feedback,my daughter just attemoted suicide this last Monday, she is 24, and this is her 2nd time (she was 16 the first time) I do know, that as with most thing;s time heals.... We go thruogh so many emotions after it "happen's"..It is great to have this kind of forum,sopport is so important right now for myself, and family.:)

Good advice
 

Thank you for posting this, as I am dealing w all the emotions of my daughters attempted suicide this last Monday. I am so glad to have found this site!

Dealing with family
 

I can only speak for myself and my own expeirences. My son attempted and came VERY VERY close. My wife and I lived at the hospital that first ten days. He was more open and we learned he had a terrible event that was torturing him and he felt he could not talk about it. We talked and talked. He got therapy, several psychiatrist. Myself and my wife also. Here is what I learned.

Suicide attempts are an act of desperation, there maybe more than one reason. People who attempt are not thinking clearly. If family members fail to notice or once noticing fail to act this is not a healthy enviroment. Even though there may be clarity after the attempt. Actually resolving what drove the attempt may take a long time to resolve. MAYBE more IMPORTANT than anything else is validity the person who attempts is in horrible pain. Pain so terrible they would rather die. Keep communication open no matter how hard. Boundaries may have to be set and kept. We assured our son we would do whatever we could. But he had to try to as this was not going to be easy. Often the one who attempted suicide can become to afraid to face and work out what drove them to that extreme. We were lucky and his attempt was 5 years ago. But he still fights his demons. We do talk and our relationship has gotten better as he got older. I hope this helps.