Need help with figuring out something work related
 

Hi,

I got voice mail /email at work (the phone does both) from my professor from grad school. I last talked to her about 7 years ago when I needed a favor and she helped me. I last saw her 10 or more years ago.
She invited me to a her book signing way across town on Wednesday (Sept. 30) and to some events in November.

In her second email she indicated that the events in November are more important to her than the Wed night book signing -- that she really hopes I can come to the November events.

I don't want to go to anything!!!
I feel tired, fat, old, and depressed.
I'm still scared that back in July I went to bed and then woke up having a stroke. I'm scared.
:confused: :(


This has got me crying and depressed -- but it doesn't take much these days.

M

Mari...
:hug::hug:

If you can't make it to the September 30th event....November is a while off and things may be in a better place with you... take it one day at a time. If you feel good...go, but if you don't...I'm sure your prof will understand.

I truly understand where you are with this... something similar is pending in my near future.

:hug:
Abbie

please in no way feel obligated to do this.
your health(mental and physical) is more important right now.
If you agree to go you can always decide to change your mind and not go. We are allowed to change our minds about things. Or you can tell her that you will not be going and maybe at the last minute you change your mind and then go. or you can just be honest and tell her that you are under a lot of pressure right now and that you can't promise anything right now.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I would definitely NOT go, you've been through a LOT Mari, in a short time, and you're STILL going through a LOT so don't push yourself. I would be honest and tell her you're just not up to going and wish her lots of luck. Taking care of yourself is priority #1. :)

Mari

I agree with everyone else. But I also believe you might change your mind.

So just wait and see.

Donna

Trying to get over a cold
 

Hi,

Thank you everyone.

For about a minute I felt good enough to go tomorrow / Wednesday.
I emailed her something non-committal about Wed.


I looked on the web page and see that she has has a fancy title and probably has put a lot of work into the Nov. events.


Part of me thinks I should go Wednesday night in case something else comes up in November.
I'll leave myself the option of going or not.


I found something to wear that I can stand just in case.
It's in the laundry.
I wish I could do more than just make sure that I have a clean shirt to wear ---- but truly most days that is my goal in public -- to make sure that I am clean enough.

Clean counts. :Dancing-Chilli:
We take our victories where we can. :cool:

M.

Either way is O K
 

Dear Mari,

I hope you can make it to the events because I know that, if you did make it, you would feel good about it. It sounds(?) to me like you don't want to go to the actual events because of how you are right now, but that you would like to show support for your former teacher.

If you can't make it, please feel ok about it. People help each other when they can. And support each other when they can. Not when they cannot.

You can still show some support without going to the event, also. You can contact her and tell her you had a serious health problem. If you feel ok about telling her, I would go right ahead full blast and say you had a stroke and the recovery takes a fair bit of time so you are not sure if you will be able to make a presence, but that you feel honored by her invitation, and that if you are well at the time you will be happy to go. something like that. And use whichever means is more comfortable - email or phone.

Even without explaining all about the stroke, the nutshell would be just a minimal message saying you feel honored, but that you are having serious health issues such that you will be unable (or unlikely to be able) to participate. That will show support.

Then, if you cannot go, you cannot go, period.

And when i say "cannot go" i include:
-- feeling overwhelmed by the idea
-- feeling extremely anxious (socially or otherwise)
-- having other duties at work coincide such that too much is on plate
-- having medical appointments coincide such that too much is on plate
-- suffering from sleep deficit at the time
-- feeling a general, even inexplicable, but strong aversion to going

you see what i mean? because really that all falls under the "health" umbrella. You are in a fragile state because of the stroke. Of course you are scared. I have thought more about strokes since you had one than you can imagine. I am certain that if it happened to me, i too would feel afraid. Because what happened was so unforeseeable, uncontrollable. That makes one feel powerless. Ironically powerlessness is a powerful feeling.

You will regain your footing. And perhaps your T could help you with overcoming the sense of fear. But it is not going to happen by someone else's event calendar. So no matter how things end up, do not coerce yourself mentally or physically into going. When the moment comes, you will know what is ok for you, and if it is best not to go, then that is ok.

:hug::hug::hug:

sorry for repeating some of what many others already said, but it was worth repeating. ;)

~ waves ~

p.s. let us know what you decide for tonight.

Woke up feeling really yucky and very tired. And stressed over this now.
 

HI,

With this head cold I woke up feeling not so good.
I probably should not go to work but I don't know. (no fever. temp is fine.)

I'm of several minds of this :confused: :(

This one would work best. Although it is not really true. One is expected to do normal duties. I can lie but she might not believe me -- but so what.


My former prof and her husband (they come as a pair because he is a former prof of mine too) know about the bipolar.


That's enough for them to have to deal with in their thoughts about me. I really could not handle telling anyone about the stroke yet. I'm not actually sure if I can talk right because of the stroke.
But the braces confuse people. The braces provide a visual --- so, when I'm having trouble getting a word out or stumbling, people see braces.
I've been faking the stroke at work so far. Actually a person or two might have noticed it but kept it to themselves.

A big part of me is thinking if I look and feel crummy, I should have sense to stay home. But I'm still remembering how it was in grad school and those emotions never got resolved back then either.


I might leave work early to take a short nap.
I'll see how I feel later.
I am totally going by how I feel.
If I can't go, I won't push myself.

Channeling tdoc: she would tell me to do what I need for health. :confused: :(

M.


=-=-=-
Now I'm late for my classes.
'Will talk later.

I had a melt down at work
 

I sent an out an email to my team announcing that no one is to call me on my office phone -- I won't respond.

The rest of the day did not go so well either.

I want some ice cream.


Mari

I think doing only what you feel like is a good answer.

Its exactly how I'm doing right now too. And I don't have a good excuse.

I need to start making myself get out more. But when the stomach doesn't
feel good its almost impossible. So I totally understand both sides.

Donna:grouphug: