Colleagues might need me to take on more work
 

Hi,

A work friend called me earlier tonight to tell me he is going to take time off work for radiation and chemo. He's sick from the treatments and will stop work in another day or few.
He can't just take his sick time. He will need us to take over for him.


The rest of the team would ordinarily pick up the slack.
BUT I cannot pick up any more work. Crap.

I don't know what to tell the team.
One of the guys seems willing to kind of take over and and do most of the planning for how this is going to work. I am going to let him. But I might be expected to do my share.

My share? :eek:


I live nearby (sort of) to the friend and might offer to help with things like picking up his son from school. But I can't see doing more work.
I'm months behind on my work already.

M.

Oh Dear!
 

Thats a difficult one Mari. But you know, if you tell them firmly and nicely they may understand. Of course you know the situation best.
Do they know that you are not well?

Isis,
They might know from observation, but I have not told them so.
M.

((( Mari )))
 

it sounds like you don't want to tell them.

do you know why you don't want to?

i had suggested taking a medical leave some time ago. i think your strong sense of duty would probably prevent you from doing so at this point. i still wonder if you can do something in terms of medical certification to lighten your work load.

not sure how it would work. short/long term disability for a couple weeks and then authorization to go back "part time." or, the docs might be able to do a part time restriction for health reasons to begin with.

can you investigate this with HR? do you trust them?

what about your employer's insurance? they will know all/any certification procedures and can direct you precisely. the number to contact them will be on the back of your insurance card.

i am not sure you wanted suggestions on how to get out of things but rather perhaps on how to get into them.

i am not sure i know what to tell you in that regard. :o

you have said you have been feeling better... so maybe there is some hope you will be "ok" with the new situation.

well one thing i can surely do is send you some cyber-hugs. :o

(((((((((((((:heartthrob: Mari :heartthrob:))))))))))))))

~ waves ~

Conspirations
 

I met a young woman at my pdoc's clinic a few months ago. She also has Bipolar. One of their many questions to me (the veteran patient :D) was how the young lady would explain her condition to her colleagues.
It suddenly occured to me that before my own dx I didn't know the word Setrilline. As far as I know very few people do.
So I suggested that she casually mentions to her colleagues that she has a problem with her setrilline levels.

The conversation would possibly go as follows:
- What is Setrilline?
- Its a hormone. Mine fluctuates and sometimes makes me moody. Like people with high blood pressure or hyper acidity, I need to take some medications and watch how I approach stress.

She is with a large advertising agency. I speak with her sometimes, and so far it seems to have worked for her. She is all of twenty-four. Her mother monitors her medications.

Mari

I have no clue how to help you with this problem. I do think offering
to help with the personel things is good.

But I also think it would be a good idea, especially if they are going to
expect you to take on more responsibilities if you explain what is going
on with you.

But I do understand how hard this is going to be for you. Hoping you
come up with some ideas.

Donna

Dear Mari:

just to clarify.......... i was not thinking of bipolar as the basis for a leave or part-time or other medical provisions. i was thinking more in terms of recovery from the stroke. i realize you may not want to disclose that either. i don't know if you have reasons not to disclose the stroke, or more feelings than reasons ... or both. it seems to me that has less stigma associated than bipolar. if you take no time off, and want to try to have things delegated more, it might be really helpful to say something.

what could you say? regarding the need for recovery, you could say you need as much rest and as little stress as possible. regarding the neuro symptoms i don't know if you are afraid of saying you are having trouble with speech or concentration, but you could indicate in a fluffy way that you are, say, still having "aftermath that is hard to describe."

fwiw, what i told coworkers when i took a medical absence:

i soft-pedaled, saying it was sort of personal and something i preferred not get into. that perhaps it was silly of me, but that i felt uncomfortable discussing certain health aspects and would prefer not to. i conceded that i did not have anything contagious or in danger.

the prefer not to in that stream of stuff is the big message. the being silly and the discomfort etc is fluff so as not to seem too defensive. the contagion and danger part allow people to feel more comfortable. (i have been asked those directly by very alarmed people!)

i would completely avoid discussing ANY medication. you do not know if others may have had direct or indirect experience, besides, it is too easy to look stuff up on the net these days - only need one curious george in the bunch to find those, and draw conclusions which, wrong or right, you might rather they didn't.

i hope you can find a solution... maybe waiting and seeing for now will be ok? just taking one day at a time until feeling better is more consolidated (i hope!) and until you know what your team member's "plan" is going to be.

well.........

i'm on your side.
i want things to be ok for you somehow.
i want you to be happy and safe.

:Heart:

~ waves ~

waves summed it up very well.
I want you to be happy, and healthy.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

doing what I think is best for myself and hubby for now. I can reevaluate later.
 

Hi,

I am aware that this does not make sense.
If I were someone else reading this, I might be frustrated.
I AM frustrated.

I've worked at this one place for years and I know the culture of the workplace. It is not forgiving with regard to ANY health matters. People don't talk about health.

I will have a 2 1/2 week vacation in Dec.

I'm avoiding adults as much as possible.
Almost all of my students are brand new since August.
They only know me since after the stroke and don't know me from before the stroke. They might notice that I have some speech issues but for them it is part of who I am. (I think the speech is more noticeable than the cognitive stuff even though I am very aware of the cognitive stuff.)
I am aware that I am not doing as good a job with the students as I might do other years and that I might take a hit in my evaluations.

The beginning of the semester (August and September) with them was very hard. We've gotten used to each other recently and I am less uptight about trying to hold things together in front of me.
And they trust me more than they did in August.

Things get yucky when I am out of my comfort zone: meetings, hours of the day I am not normally there, people I don't often deal with, . . . I prefer to be with my students, but that was the case pre-stroke as well. I like my students.


=-=-
My writing is bad tonight.
I'm very sleepy. This is a hard subject.
I think I will hit reply without trying to fix the sentences.

I see tdoc Wednesday night -- first time perhaps in 5 or 6 weeks.

M.

((( Mari )))
 

Thanks for explaining. :hug:

I think i get the gist... well, what i am "getting" is...

You feel it is best considering the culture of where you work not to take time off or to say anything at all. Some circumstances (new students who did not know you) make that easier to pull off. Other circumstances require some skirting. An evaluation hit would be acceptable / preferable to making any disclosures. Most of all, you are looking forward to that 2 1/2 week vacation time!

is that about right?

in case you see this don't worry, answer tomorrow, go get sleep now.

I am wanting you get some quality sleep now. :)

:circlelove:

~ waves ~ on your side, whatever you de-cide

p.s. glad you will be seeing T-doc. :)