Am I doing the right thing?
 

I am new to this site and not sure if I need advice on doing the right thing for my daughter or not, or if I need to know that I'm not losing my mind. She has been diagnosed with BP, ODD, ADHD and PDD since she was 6 years old. Things have only gotten worse as time has gone by. Now she is a few days away from turning 13. I do not have the energy or the know how to help her anymore. Her father (my X) does not help at all. She receives full services from the behavioral health department thru the county and nothing seems to help.

Now hospitalized for the past 2 1/2 weeks, Dr.'s have changed all of her medications and are currently trying to put her in a Residential Treatment program. I have medical insurance thru the County I live in and they want the hospital to put her in a State Hospital for them to pay for it. I don't agree at all! What can a Residential Treatment Hospital do that a State Hospital cannot? I need some ammunition when the county calls me. I just don't think that a straight jacket will do any good... It'll be worse!

Or if they won't budge, do I just bring her home and try to deal with her disability as best as I can?

First ask them about what services they plan to get the state hospital to provide.

Use this to also find out what a residential program can do for her?

The residential programs can be different. But lots of the time the main thing they do are change medications and give therapy.

I'm guessing that the county believes the state hospital can do these two things. So one thing you need to do is find some more things that either need
to be used at the state hospital if they make you let her go there.

Or find some things that residential placements do that would be more beneficial for her. I would definately go about calling the residential placements you can find in your state, and asking what they can do to help make a good plan for your daughter so the county will decide to go this way.

Donna

Thank You for the response. It means a lot to me that I'm not alone and that things can get better. I guess I feel at a loss when things with my children are out of my control and I don't feel like a mother anymore. I try to do my best with what I have and right now that doesn't seem like much. But if it can work for others maybe there is a chance for us. I've been doing this from the time she was 6 and I guess now is a very difficult time. When she is 27 I hope to have a little bit more control of all of this. Again, Thank you!

I honestly understand. My son's problems started before he was 6. He had speech problems from birth. And anger and depression from 3 or 4 I would guess. And the rest just joined as time went on. I really thought at 16 we weren't going to get to see the 27 year old I have now. So I am very happy with what has happened.

Donna

I've talked to a few people and they say that after residential treatment that their children come back after a year totally different. I am going to keep my head up and hope that the doctors can figure out her meds and she does the same. I have recently gotten my own therapist and may find support groups for my own well being. I guess I'd rather do this now than when she is 17 or 18. Right?

Yes you definately would rather get help now. Than wait.

Also getting yourself a therapist and finding support groups is a great idea.

ONe support group you could use is the bipolar group that is mainly adults.
there are more of us that post there. It doesn't matter if you are a
adult with a child needing support or a adult with bipolar.

They are a great group of supportive people.

Donna

Hi jeanie. My name is Lauren. I was diagnosed at the age of 13 with Bipolar. I can tell you that the reason things seem to be "getting worse" is because she is now in puberty and those hormones that are CONSTANTLY going make the mood swings very severe. I was also hopitalized at 13 because of this. I am 22 years old now, and happy to say, i've learned to deal with it more... and trying to make the best out of therapy. a loving family is very much needed in her case. If your husband is not able to show her how he cares, then make it your priority to show her how you understand that she is really just having a tough time but that she can get through it. also i would love to chat with your daughter, having a "same diagnosis pen pal" helps alot. feel free to write back Thanks!
:winky: