The right things to say.
 

They (those nonMSers, you know), we know, the wrong stuff they say : You look so good, is it really MS?
They have a new thing, bee stings, vitamin drink, etc, etc. and my SIL's aunt's hairdresser takes it and is doing great, etc. etc. and instead say:

Gosh, you really do great and compensate so well. You make it look easy!
You hardly complain and I know it can't be easy.
Here's a HUGE box of chocolates for the Holidays.
They owe me hours at the cleaning service. Will you take some, please?
A little more wine?
I'm listening.

I'm glad you started this thread! We (includes me) are always grousing about the stupid and wrong things people say, and don't give credit or suggestions about the good things!

Here are a couple of things people have said to me that felt good:

"You seem to be coping, but I know things aren't always what they seem."

"We're always going into town, so feel free to give us your 'list' anytime"

"I'm praying for you, but let me know if there's anything tangible I can do also"

"Do you feel like talking about it?"

What a great idea for a thread. :)

sorry; a bit off topic:

I saw one of the girls from my MS group I hadn't seen for awhile and wouldn't you know it the first thing out of my mouth was:

"Oh; you look so good!" :o

We both just cracked up laughing and then we had a nice chat.

I just really prefer people don't mention it at all and just treat me like they did before this stinking disease came to call. Although I guess others might be hurt that it wasn't being acknowledged. There probably isn't any winning.

However Kicker's "here's a huge box of chocolates" would work wonderfully. :p

You look good never bothers us, even in the slightest. Those who offer all the latest treatments don't bother us either. Maybe we are numb from it after all these years. :p

However, when they get too personal about our intimacy and how we manage to even have that type of relationship we simply look them in the eye and say we aren't dead and leave the rest to their imagination. :D:cool:;)

Some people are really and truly clueless. It's not worth getting aggravated over it. They are only human. :rolleyes: :p

My son sent me a text that said how proud he is of me for being so strong...it meant the world to me, because my 3 sons are a bit stoic about these things...non verbal.

My best friend said to me: "Call if you need me and I'll be there asap". I know she really means it and she lives a 1000 miles away :)!

I love it when friends call and just tell me that they're bringing me a dozen eggs (I don't even try it anymore) and ask point blank, "What else do you need while we're in the store?". They always ask if they should bring it by directly or wait for a better day. It's awesome.

I love it when my boys come and just ask me for "the list".

I also love it when a friend calls and asks, "Are you dressed?" because they want to come by or have me meet them for dinner or something. If I say, 'no', they're totally cool about it and give me a raincheck without an interrogation.

My recent favorite came from my squishy little friend (7), "You seem sleepy but I'm still having fun! *hug*". :)

Aren't kids the best?! They can be brutally honest but they always say what they mean and mean what they say. :)

I'd had a busy day with fences, Katz, ponies, sheep yadda ya and my man had gone off on a nite shift. I texted him a goodnight and my thanks for the help and said he was our hero.
He replied, 'No, you're MY hero , and always have been'.