been awhile
 

Hi Everyone,
I know its been a while since I have been on here but I have had a lot of things happening for a while now.I just have a couple of questions for you all and maybe you can help me.
I haven't been on the site for one big reason. For a month and a half I was literally on my back due to major lower back pain. I woke up one day feeling like my hip was out(which will happen on occasion cuz I have a bad hip) so i went to a chiropractor. I seen him 3 times out of 6 days and it didn't help. I was in so much pain I ended up going to the ER. I went to the ER 5 times and still couldn't stand without major pain.When I had to go to the bathroom was the only time i got up due to the pain and that hurt like the dickens. The ER finally decided to send me to my pm doc. He gave me 2 injections in the lower back and sent me home. After about 4 days I was finally able to get up and walk very little but at least it was progress. I had to see him in 4 weeks 2 more times once every 2 weeks for my injections. I am now doing better but still a bit worse than what I was before all this started. When the chiro tried to pop in between my shoulders he bruised my sternum so i thought and the last 2 visits to the ER was a nightmare.I couldn't hardly move but the nurse on duty (which seemed to be the same one everytime I went in) decided I wasn't moving fast enough to get out of the wheel chair to get to the bed so she just yanked me out and boy did i scream bloody murder in her ear.She also expected me to take a pill and drink water with it while lying flat on my back. What fun that was,not. I had water down the front of me. Ever since the chiro my sternum still hurts and can't get it to heal and my right side just under the breast to my side hurts still to this day. It has been over 3 months now and don't know if rsd has just set in or not. I am scared that it may have.sometimes it hurts to breathe,stretch and move to the right.Has anyone had an experience like this as far as the pain goes? My legs haven't been the same since. They feel like they are going to sleep on me alot so they are very shaky and weak.All since just waking up one morning and just out of the blue having back pain. Also since all this my right shoulder has been hurting non-stop. My rsd had started in my left hand and arm 7 1/2 years ago due to a work related injury.Is this something normal to happen? Is it rsd trying to be a devil again?
Also my parents don't believe me when I tell them what is going on with me. I didn't go to there house for Thanksgiving cuz I was still working on trying to heal my back from whatever made it the way it was in the first place.My parents thought it was just another excuse to not go to there place. I am so hurt with them not believing me. I haven't made this disease up. It is a real thing and if they would just do a little research they would see that I am not making it up. My brother and sisters just gave up on me because they couldn't deal with me the way I am now, they don't know how to handle it so they took the easy way out. Is there any way I can get them to believe me? I have always been the blacksheep of the family but that shouldn't matter this is a real disease. With me being so hurt by my family I just feel that I don't know if i can face them anymore due to how they have made me feel. Am I wrong? They just want me to put on a happy face when I am there even if I am not. i can't fake being happy if I hurt. I didn't go to there house for christmas due to us living in the country and having 1-2 inches of ice on the gravel and not leaving due to the roads, but even if we could have made it I still felt like not going because I can't face people who don't believe me and who can't deal with who I am now. Is that wrong and does that make me a bad person? I don't know if I will ever be ready to face them which hurts me very badly.
Not only is my biological family feeling the way they are my husband admitted to me the other night that he stays out on the road and stays as busy as he can due to my disability. But it is only part of the reason he says. He says he can't deal with it either. Am I hurt yeah very much but I love him. We have been married for 16 years and been together for 18 years. You can't just give something like that up. I have had a few people tell me to leave him but I can't because I still love him. How do I deal with something like this? It hurts me so bad but I can't show it because he will ask,"Now what is the problem?!" So I have to keep it bottled up no matter how bad it hurts. I just don't know how to deal with it as well as deal with my rsd and all the other sress in my life.he says he still loves me. Is he for real or is he not? I don't know anymore. I am so confused. If anyone can help me please do. I am begging for help. Thank u.
You all have a Happy New Year! Thanks again for reading my rambling.

Sincerely,
Tracy