NeuroTalk Support Groups - Walking into darkness

When one walks out into darkness, at first it is hard to see anything. Then the eyes adapt to this loss of light and, bit by bit, we begin to see - probably to see things we'd have passed over quickly had we walked by them in full light.

Something like that happens with suffering. Not that we could have chosen it. Not that we like it at all. But after a while, against our will, against our better judgment, we realize that we have acquired some wisdom through all this pain. Our sense of what is important is heightened. We're not so easily disturbed by petty things. We may make different uses of our time. Perhaps we reevaluate the demands we make of ourselves and drop some from the list. It was quite a revelation to me to realize in the wake of my daughter's death that I didn't have to take responsibility for the social ease of any situation in which I found myself. There are worse things than awkward silences.

We will probably find, among other things, that we are drawn to those who are experiencing fresh grief. We, more than most, can stand with them, so that in their dark time they will begin to see.

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Healing After Loss by Matha Whitmore Hickman