Anxiety!!
 

and I dont think this is quite MS related.

It's mom-related.

I just spent about two hours mommy-sitting while my dad went to work out for a little bit. I'm feeling so much anxiety right now because of it. My mom is pretty helpless right now and in pain and I dont know if I can handle this.

I cant help her if she falls down again, I cant do much to help her even if she's sitting around. I can adjust her pillows, get her a drink, but I cant help her into the bathroom. (my dad has been doing that)

I'm afraid to help her up because I'm scared she's going to trip or fall.

My hand has been numb since last fall, and even tho I can still knit and crochet, I've noticed that it's not very strong anymore. I cant exactly use that hand to help her up and be sure that my hand isnt going to be able to help hold her up and stuff.

I hate anxiety.

I wonder if part of the anxiety is the anxiety that the MS will do something to me because I'm stressing out?

I'm going to go take a nap.

Take a deep breath. It's all gonna be okay.

I know what you mean about not trusting your numb hand. Mine has been numb for going on two years now and while I have gained back a lot of use it's still weaker than my other one and I tend to not trust it as much.

Maybe you could find something for your Mom to do that will keep her still and in one spot for a while - or at least till your Dad gets back.

Does she like to read? Or do jigsaw puzzles? What about books on tape? Does she knit or crochet? Maybe ya'll could work on a project together.

As she heals and feels better it will get easier. Can you just explain to her that you're nervous about causing her further injury so she'll understand when you don't want to move her?

she cant move her right arm right now.

I put her in front of her computer, and changed where the mouse goes...I might change the button settings on the mouse so it's easier for her to use...but I plunked her down onto the computer and set her loose on her email to read.

I emailed her sister this morning, so I'm hoping she'll call at least once or twice in the next few days.

I took a nap...was still feeling a bunch of anxiety, so I took 1/4 of an ativan. (those pills are teeny, it's hard to break them into quarter pieces) That little bit of ativan helped.

I'm hoping that things will get better in the next day or two. I think a lot of the anxiety I'm getting is coming at me whenever she moans or groans or when I accidentally bang her injured arm into something. (did that earlier) Whenever she does the scream of pain (well, it's not so much screaming as just a really loud "OWWWW!!") it makes me feel more anxious.

I think I'm going to go to the store and get something to eat for later, really just to get out of the house for a little bit. My dad wants me to pick some stuff up...snacks for my mom.