Help my brother (because I can't) :(
 

I'm starting to seriously consider that my younger brother (17) could possibly have bipolar disorder. He gets VERY VERY sometimes SCARY angry over very small things that wouldn't bother someone else, and it's like he SNAPS. Sometimes he gets litterally like this :mad: and it's scary sometimes. I try to do everything I can to help him but he freaks out even more and says things like 'I DONT NEED YOUR HELP' and things. I don't even know what to do, and he's so young that I don't think he understands what happens is NOT normal and that it effects me so much. I'm going to be honest with you, (as much as it hurts) I can tell you that I 100% believe in my stomach that my brother doesn't care about me at all. I know that sounds a bit extreme but I can't explain it. I love my brother more than most other humans on this planet and I constantly feel like my efforts are always wasted.

I want to help him, but when he treats me like s&#* when he's mad, and it then it turn makes me livid/upset/depressed/whatever, it makes me never want to talk to him again. I probs shouldn't be worrying about other people when I can't even function/handle my own life, but he's my brother and he won't even hug me... like if I knew the way he was acting was STRICTLY because he's a 17 year old boy and doesn't 'get it' yet, I'd be okay, but it feels way more than that. Like he knows exactly what he's doing.


I needed to get this out. I'm sick and tired of being treated like I don't matter.

Hi Meg
 

when did this behavior start and how was your relationship with your brother before?

how does he get along with other people (parents, friends, girlfriend?)

His behavior with you doesn't particularly suggest to me he is bipolar any more than the next guy. Unless there are other factors, to me, it is more suggestive of a 17 year old adjusting to his testosterone soup, and having a troubled relationship with his older sister.

You have suffered with a lot of depression and anxiety, Meg. Many of us who go through this find that those who do not experience it do not get it. sometimes, even specialists do not totally get it. Now you say you feel like he hates you - i suspect not, but you may be onto something else here:

A person can be overwhelmed by depression/anxiety in close family members - themoreso a teenager whose emotional experience is intensified by hormonal increase and flux. Not because they don't care but because they do... it can hurt very deeply, but they cannot control the situation, cannot improve the situation, and that can be intolerable. Some will put up a wall of defense - isolate themselves. Internally, emotionally. Rageful outbursts and unwillingness to be affectionate are not that "odd" in a 17 year old male. And these are also very effective "defense" behaviors if he needs to distance himself from you. This is not something he would be conscious of doing most likely, but more a defense mechanism against feeling someone too much for someone else. Your perception that he doesn't "care" may be right to the extent that he may in fact NEED to PREVENT himself from experiencing his feelings for you.

what do you think?

begs the questions though, of when this started, and how he gets along with others.

~ waves ~

a girl friend of mine has 2 boys that are add and they have anger management issues but eventually apoligize for their behavior hours later when they have calmed down.
there is a difiant disorder?????
and waves could be right...he is only 17 and could just be acting self centered/???
I don't know.
It hurts when you get rejected... for any reason.
we will give you hugs here.:o
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

MegVeg, I am so glad to see you post but sorry about your brother. Unfortunately the more we do at that age, the angrier they get. A lot of it is hormonal, add a bit of emotional and the drama hurts those that care.

he needs a release for emotions. would he consider doing some peer work, one day a week after school help at a program for kids, cleaning a park of liter.

I had family members that were in a real funk as I was too, lots of stress. We started to volunteer serving dinner to kids at a local after school program, from first to sixth grade. They love seeing us come.
It makes us feel good too.....Never thought emotionally we had the strength and I asked all of them to come with me at least once.....and they all have gone again.
You need to be needed,
Hope things work out, sending supportive thoughts and prayers,
di

Meg, it could also be sible rivalty on your brother's part.

Barbra

ok, wait
 

i want to clarify:

:confused: while it could be the case, that he just be acting self centered - that is not what i was trying to get at in my post. :o

what i was suggesting is that he could be prey to an internal defense mechanism, which would be involuntary, subconscious, and self-preserving, NOT self-centered. (when this sort of thing happens it still really hurts the people on the other end - in this case you Meg.)

i like Di's suggestion on the peer work. it seems like that could help regardless what the cause of the problem is. if both of you are able and willing.

~ waves ~

Based on what I hear,I think that he may have a bullie problem. Somebody is bothering him maybe at school.

Does he have any learning disabilities? These things may be all pinned up inside plus hormones,and the other aggrivations he is displaying.

It sounds like he is really angery,and it's pinned up in him. For your own good please stay away from him at this time. My dad had a terrible temper,and when I was around him when I was growing up,when he'd blow up with his temper,I caught the shrapnel.

Please be careful around him at this time.

Is there a guidence counsellor that he can talk to at school,or somebody who he trusts? BF:hug::hug::hug:

sorry I did not mean to lump those statements together.
they were seperate thoughts.
bizi

hey Bizi
 

ahhh! all is revealed! :D

no prob! i appreciate the explanation though ... i am relieved... when i saw your post i thought maybe mine read differently than i had intended. :o:eek:

:hug:

~ waves ~