down in the dumps
 

Hi- I am a 34 year old wife and mother to two beautiful girls, six and four. I first viewed this site in Jan 2008 when I was diagnosed witha colloid cyst in the third ventricle. I had surgery (Craniotomy) in Feb 08 and since then have resumed all normal activities. About two months following my surgery I began to experience tingling and numbness in my hands.

My neurosurgeon suspected chairi but also found a small aneurysm, which we decided to watch. In Oct of 09, after my yearly checkup at the neurosurgeons, my symptoms were increasing- neck and hand stiffness, throbbing headaches (again), and nighttime tingling an numbness. I was concerned that my ability to manage my symptoms were becomming more than I could handle.
My symptoms spiked this past Monday and I went back to the neurosurgeons for a visit. An MRA was performed which showed no change in the level of my cerebellar tonsills but revealed a slight, but worrisome, change in the shape of the aneurysm. He recommeded surgery. I had convinced myself that I was ready for the decompression and was not prepared to hear that the aneurysm had to be repaired first. Repairing that will not make myh head feel better. I am now at a point of utter despair. Statistically, how could one person have three significant neurological conditions.
Now I will have to repair the aneurysm, recover, and then return for a third major operation to decompress the chairi. I am terrified after experiencing the the first surgery. I want to be painfree, energetic, and fully functional. I want to be with my kids- not spend the next two years recovering from two surgeries.
I am in a bad place emotionally- angry, sad, scared, exhausted. I don't know how I will get through this. Will I be okay after all of this? How much of myself will remain? I would love to hear recovery experiences and advice on how to manage emotionally.

Hello MrsB
 

I saw your post and my heart just wants to jump thru this screen
http://dl2.glitter-graphics.net/pub/...ei9k4cqpy3.gif

It's such a helpless feeling to know the pain you are facing, yet not being able to do anything about it......other than to send a ((((hug)))) and hope that it comes through.....

You've found a wonderful place for support and I know many here will latch right on to your post.....
There are so many forum topics here at NT that will embrace your situation...I'm honestly at a loss as to where to point you........ :grouphug:
Please don't feel alone......:(....especially with this being a holiday weekend....makes it all the harder I know.

I'm so glad you've come here and introduced yourself. Please hang on to 'Hope'....
Despite my 'goofball' appearance, I truly do have a heavy heart.....I guess hiding behind 'silliness' is a form of a defense mechanism, ....so that (i spose) helps in answering part of your question regarding 'coping'......
I only hope it doesn't come across as being 'shallow' to your needs.

One of the greatest things I have found here at NT is the diversity in personalities which, as a whole, makes for a wonderful support system.....somehow things just seem to come 'full circle' when we all begin to pick each other up and draw our strength from one another.....
crying together and laughing together is the necessity we share as we struggle with our painful issues....

Try to do whatever it takes to focus on the blessings you have......your daughters, your husband.....reflect back on the memorable moments you've shared and the happy times spent. Try not to let that dark cloud consume you.....
I know this isn't a time for laughter in your life, but please try to reflect on the things that bring you joy and plans you have for the future.
There are many wonderful testimonies of recoveries here, spiritual support, and genuine care and concern.
I thank God for leading me to such a place as this. A place to feel safe and open to expressing any emotion...anger,fear,grief......it's all here. Down to earth "real" people......
Believe me when I say your pain is 'heard'.
Pain is what brought us all together.....

I couldn't log off for the night without responding to your heartfelt post.
Others will be along........
There WILL be good times ahead for you

God Bless,
Rae

Hello!
 

http://dl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/4...q6hd9jrorv.gif
I see that Rae has already "lifted you up" with her kindness and wisdom! I will add that you are also in my prayers and so glad you have come to NT for support. I'm so so sorry that you are having to go through this and know how depressing it can all be especially with your young children. I hope you are having a lot of good family support.

Here are some :hug: :hug: :hug: for you! Stay with us and let us know how things are going for you, please!

my thoughts and Prayers are with you and your little ones. may the Special Angels in your life wrap their beautiful wings around you and keep you safe.