Hello, I have PCS
 

My boyfriend just found me this thread, and I am so thankful to have read through your stories and advice that I felt compelled to share my story, since its a little bit unique.

I have been an athlete since 1st grade and have made my way through most of the more bizarre sports out there. After college, I started training and competing in the sport of skeleton. Its like bobsled or luge, but you are sliding face first about 3-4 inches from the ice. Everyone gets beat up doing this sport. Everyone hits their head doing this sport too, but for some reason I have not recovered like everyone else.

My first week of tryout camp in Lake Placid, NY, I suffered what was diagnosed by the trainers as a mild concussion. I never blacked out, I managed to accumulate enough trauma from dragging my head in the ice over 3 days to start feeling bad. However, my symptoms didn't entirely manifest until the next 2-3 days when I started becoming nauseous, audio and photo-sensitive, as well as 'zoning out' for periods of time according to those who were around me. I was also working as a rowing coach during that time at a college, and it was the main racing season so I didn't feel like I could take any time off. It became evident that I would have to as I soon couldn't drive myself anywhere or even eat by myself in the cafeteria.

I thought I was completely healed after a month and resumed training for the upcoming skeleton season. I started doing Crossfit and some really intense training. I would always get headaches and feel exhausted for the entire day, but I chalked it up to starting a new training regime. I returned to skeleton the following fall and who knows what kind of additional trauma I experienced. It is likely that I suffered several mild concussions but was too stubborn or clueless to take them seriously. I would come off a run in Park City in tears because my head had been knocked around so badly, yet no one said that it might be a problem. Everyone takes hits in skeleton, you just get over them.

I competed in my first international race that spring, and finished well for a debut. I spent my summer suffering the same kind of headaches from working out, but I assumed it was from the heat where I was training in Florida. I moved to Lake Placid in Fall 2009 to begin training for a journey I thought would take me to the 2014 olympics. Within the first 4 days of training at Lake Placid, despite performing well, something was seriously wrong with my head. Just sliding down the track (at 70mph withstanding up to 4-5 G forces) was enough to give me a concussion. During my best (and last) run of my career, I tapped my chin through my helmet on the ice hard enough to begin feeling the same symptoms from the first concussion 2 years ago. It began getting worse and worse and the headaches were unbearable, the sensitivity, the dizziness, the crying fits, the confusion, the inability to plan, to drive, etc. etc.

What's amazing is that only one or two people in the athletic community I was in, thought that something might be seriously wrong. As far as they knew, I was sliding fine, so it wasn't serious. I felt like an anomaly. I saw a doctor in Lake Placid where I had an MRI that of course didnt show anything seriously wrong. However, the doctor was smart enough to end my sliding career then. I returned home to Florida where I have been since November and trying to fight through symptoms.

Some days its better, some days I feel like I'm slipping. I want to work out, I want to run, and I want to surf, but everything feels like a risk now. I spent so long denying the pain, that who knows what kind of damage I've done. That's the worst part. I don't know how bad this will get, if I will get better, and I don't know how future impacts will affect me. I am lucky in that I have ties to the neuropsychological community, and that my advisor in college is one of the psychologists who pioneered soccer heading concussion research. He has met with me on several occasions and drilled home how serious my condition now is. I should have known better, but I was blinded by a dream.

I apologize for the novel - this is me unloading for a group of people who finally know what I'm going through. I don't know how to explain myself, because sometimes (rarely) I am sharp and energetic, but most days its just so hard to even get dressed.

However, here are two things I have learned along the way - some people are more susceptible to concussions than others. Especially women.

Acupuncture has helped me deal with some of the headache pain more effectively than medication. They had me on some anti-seizure/bipolar/migraine medication for awhile, and that did nothing. I was desperate for anything to help me and give me hope, so my grandparents suggested looking into a good acupuncturist, something I'd never done before. Its helped more than anything else.

Thanks for reading my story. Good luck to everyone out there.

Thank you for your story. I appreciated reading it and you sharing. I completely understand how you are feeling. Especially the part about wanting to do things but not wanting to risk injury - I badly want to surf and play hockey but I realize it may never happen again anytime soon - hoping for fall but who knows - I was hoping for fall last year too. I too have a life revolving around sport (not my main job) but it's a big part of who I am so losing it over the past 15 months has been difficult. See my post "I'm over it" to learn more about my story.

I too have tried many different things - natural medicine, accupuncture and found nothing helps but time. Someone on this site pointed me to the book Brainlash by Gail Denton - reading it helped.

For me my days now consist of big headaches, light headedness and some nausea depending on the day. Thankfully my cognitive abilities have returned for the most part. I'm running, exercising and doing anything that doesn't risk hitting my head. I feel crap regardless of whether I exercise or not so I'm just dealing with it. Hopefully for me and for you time will be what you need.

I've learned you can't put a time on recovery. Just gotta live day by day and take the good things.

By the way, skeleton is nuts! I hit my head snowboarding and now realize the jump I did that injured me was nuts too - at the time though, I didn't think I was really taking a risk. A helmet saved me.

Best of luck to you.

It was actually your original thread that encouraged me to post here. Your struggle sounds a lot like mine. I tried snowboarding for the first time while I was training for skeleton. I did a lot of face planting which probably didn't help my situation, but I relate to your desire to surf/snowboard/just be active. Hopefully things will get better for us, and its nice to know that we're not alone.

ALryan,

I am sorry to hear of your struggles. Glad to hear you have some great counsel in your psych advisor. He is dead on. The soccer heading research goes back decades.

I am very interested as to whether he has published any results of his research I know that soccer players who routinely head the ball score 10% lower on IQ tests. They also develop thicker craniums (skulls).

Some research has shown that the infrequent intense headers are not necessarily as damaging as the routine repeated headers done in a header drill.

This support the injuries you received. The continuous impacts and shaking from a skeleton run are very damaging. The best advice you have been given is to stop skeleton and you further need to learn to limit any risk of head impacts.

I have been attempting to limit head impacts since 1970 when I developed a seizure disorder and cognitive struggles from soccer ball heading. Even after being diligent to limit risks to my head, I have suffered 10 plus impacts to my head. Most were very mild. Two left me with concussion symptoms for a short time.

Just daily life will be enough risk to your head without adding any voluntary risk like soccer, or other contact sports. Basketball has shown to be a risk for head trauma.

Please keep in mind that wearing a helmet will not protect your head. It may prevent a skull fracture but not the concussive effect to your brain.

As surfing said, learn to get to knwo the new you and try to develop a life as that new you. It will help any recovery that is available.

Check out http://www.givebackorlando.com/ They support the TBI/mTBI community.

My best to you.

Finding this message board and people in similar circumstances was the best thing that happened to me after my wreck. Glad you were able to find us!