Stigma
 

I have been at Neurotalk for a while but never posted on the BP forum. I have BP, ADHD, an ED and Social Anxiety/Agoraphobia. There is a lot I could share but something horrible just happened to me so I will just get to the point.

For 13 years I've had a friend online. We both went thru infertility together years ago. However, when I got dxd with BP and told her, she flat out told me she didn't like people with mental illness- she told me they were flawed and freaks! Enough said. I'll leave it at that. She was angry that my DH and I adopted at the time and she couldn't. Then a year later she was able to have a child of her own. So, things were good in her life and then she contacted me again and started sending me Christmas cards every year- just to show me pictures of her son.

And, in every card she would ask me to e-mail her about my family and she would write back. I always would e-mail her. She never would back. Then she friended me on Facebook. Need I say anymore? Things have been the same since.

Usually I don't post much on my Facebook page. She always posts and is obnoxious and very brash about herself on her page- to the point where it is just disgusting. Last night I posted something really funny which received a lot of responses from tons of my friends and their friends. So, it must have got channeled to her page- then ticked her off.

Ending up with this result: She posted a very disgusting post about people with BP are bad, etc. I can't remember all the rest she said- but it was meant right at me- and I know it. She was always a vindictive person and when I knew her years ago, she dilberately would purposely hurt other peoples feelings to make herself feel better.

My self-esteem is bad enough. Dealing with BP is hard enough on its own. She is aware of that. Taking her crap over the years has been more than I can bare. So, this year if or when she sends another card over the holidays- I'm going to send it back -returned. At this point I feel like mailing her some mental health pamphlets just to really stick it to her. Maybe she would get the *&^%^% point!?

Sorry I'm angry. I've had a difficult time enough with my own mom being mean to me about the illness.

Coffeegirl

Dear Coffeegirl,

Welcome to the Bipolar Forum. :) WE are happy to have you here. :hug:

i am so sorry you have had to deal with this mean, self-centered individual. the thing to write on stuff that gets delivered and you don't want it, is "refused" - the p.o. will send it back with the return-to-sender stamp added, and the "refused by recipient" ticked as well. hehe. and yes, i think you should start refusing her mail. i don't know why she tries to keep in touch with you, but it doesn't seem to have anything to do with caring or friendship, and it is only hurting you. may i also suggest you de-friend her on facebook and don't read her page.

you can't stop her from talking about people but if she writes things that are directed at you, then, you CAN nix her objective - by not reading them, or anything else. i think this is one of those cases where curiosity kills the cat.

i am sorry about your mom being unsupportive too. that is hard but we don't pick our relatives and they don't get to pick us. with your ex-friend, you have some choices.

i wish you well and i hope you will keep posting here. :hug:

~ waves ~

Hello there !!

Dear waves already gave you great advises... BLOCK her... you dont deserve to listen to her s**t ;)

Dont ask me why, but unfortuantely this world is full of mean people, envy, hate... and all those nasty feelings... People can be so rude and pathetic, and, I think the only thing we can do, is to forgive them with our hearts AND delete them completely from our lives... :hug:

You take care ! :grouphug:

Thank you for your help and support. I will remember that when/if I recieve any mail from her again. I shut down her Facebook acct with me and blocked her information to my Facebook page. Now I have to do it with my Outlook/Inbox.

Some people are so cruel. Even family can be that way. I have horror stories of family even. Some people on this planet just need to be sent to Mars!:D

Hi,
I'm sorry you had to deal with a mean person.
Yes. Block her email too. Delete her address.

I think that over the years family members should start catching on. Some do. Others want to hide from our dx.

M.

MARS !? No way !!! First, because my fav rock band comes from there... :D :p (They are called 30 seconds to mars) Bad joke...

And second... They need to be sent somewhere way further... :o:o

Cruel is the word... Im precisly dealing (or not really) with cruel people right now... :(

You take care ! :hug:

Good for you, Coffeegirl!!!! :D:)

nah not Mars... they might make a colony and come back and make war... nope... i say shoot 'em into space... maybe a nice black hole! ha! :p:eek::cool:

~ waves ~

UGh yeah, black hole sounds excelllent ! :winky: :D

welcome coffee girl!:)

I wonder how many of us don't have horror stories. Since I was diagnosed as bipolar almost ten years ago I have been telling people. I just had an experience that really freaked me out. Before that I had a very close friend who told me he loves me and thinks of me almost everyday says the reason he doesnt call me is because he can't help me. Who asks to be fixed?
It sounds as if you have a lot of support in your life and you are not isolated.
Go towards the positive and the compassionate and leave the rest behind...even if they are family who can hurt the most and who probably really feel guilty deep down. you can feel mercy for them but just keep away.
I have another expression about kicking their B@lls to the moon.....I just invented last week to take care of some anger...i think it has a nice ring to it.
bobby