I don't know how to go to bed
 

I don't want to sleep.
Something is wrong with me.
I took the night meds little while ago: maybe Klonopin will take the edge off the anxiety about this.
M.

Hi, i am here, and wanted to respond, but i feel a bit useless in this regard Mari. it isn't exactly something at which i excel... or am even competent. :o i mean there's the whole sleep hygiene bit... but i'm sure you know all that stuff... right?

it stinks when one's ideal time of sleep is at odds with when society decrees we ought to sleep.

i mostly hope you can get sleep in, at some time, so you don't end up toooo sleep deprived. sounded like you already weren't getting enough before and during your parents' visit.

:hug::hug::hug:

might a cup of something warm and comforting help? :o

~ waves ~

Waves,
After I took the meds and was settling down a bit, I washed my hair. This woke me up of course and postponed bed.
Then I printed out some stuff and did some other work that I need for tomorrow.
I even went outside twice to check on one of the plants that hubby and Mom planted to confirm that it looks like it is dying even though I watered it twice tonight.

I'm lost.
M.

Waves,
After I took the meds and was settling down a bit, I washed my hair. This woke me up of course and postponed bed.
Then I printed out some stuff and did some other work that I need for tomorrow.
I even went outside twice to check on one of the plants that hubby and Mom planted to confirm that it looks like it is dying even though I watered it twice tonight.

I'm lost.
M.

Dear Mari

don't water the plant any more tonight. check with mom about watering frequency. newly moved plants often go into stress and look like they are wilting/dying. they usually recover if the new setting is adequate. but excess watering does not help the plant adjust. overwatering is just as bad as underwatering.

put away your work. do you have a good book, or magazine article, you can read? if you can't concentrate to read, find something you can just browse through and look at pictures or even ads.

1. dim the lights in your apartment.

2. brush your teeth and do any other evening grooming that might be left to do.

3. if your hair is not yet dry, dry it.

4. if you are not in your sleeping clothes, put them on.

5. make yourself a warm, non caffeinated beverage.

6. sit and read or look at pix while sipping the hot beverage.

:hug:

are you feeling different than usual tonight? particularly anxious? do you think an extra bit of Klonopin would be useful?

~ waves ~

Thanks, Waves,

Tdoc has told me in the past that I need to meditate 5 minutes a day.


She doesn't talk much. I think she thinks that from there I can move to other things that will help me eventually get to sleep.
The practice of five minutes 6 or 7 days a week will help me grow from there. (From here -- this side of the meditation -- my next steps are prob more than 5 mins a day, some yoga, and an almost vegan / vegetarian diet)

I'm going shopping tomorrow for soy yogurt because the grocery stores near my do not carry it anymore. It is a quick and easy food to take to work. A minute ago I put some lentils in a bowl with water to soak so I can cook them Wed night.

I have to wake up at 9:30 am.
I don't understand. It seems almost destructive to do this.

Maybe I can meditate somehow -- but clearly since she has asked me to do this for years and I don't do it, I have a block I have to get past.

Whining a little bit . . . . . sorry

M.

Dear Waves,
Thanks.
I'm in my bed clothes and I brushed my teeth and all that. Both alarm clocks are set.
Hair is very short and dry enough at this point.

I'm probably feeling more anxious tonight than some other nights
-still processing the visit w/ parents
-thinking of things I need to do like send out an email or at least put it down on my list of things I have to do tomorrow.
-papers for class were thrown into my book bag and scattered / jumbled up on Friday
-most of my effort on Wed will be on staying awake and appearing to be competent.


M.

Dear Mari

it's alright. i am listening. :hug::hug::hug:

i have these "block" thingies too about various things. they are hard. :o

it reminds me of that old Nike ad... "Just do it." ... i used to HATE that...

if i could, "just do it," i wouldn't have a problem!!! :o:(

~ waves ~

this makes sense. this will also get better in the next few nights.

this sounds discomfiting. even though it would eat into potential "sleeping time" might it help, to invest in say a half hour, to organize the papers, at least somewhat, and add the things you are needing to do to that list for tomorrow?

~ waves ~

Yes, Waves,

Thanks for talking to me.
I am going to bed now.

M.