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Losing hope of recovery
Hi,
I had a champagne bottle fall on my head just over a year ago, went to Emergency department but discharged quickly because there was no open would or loss of consciousness; however I was readmitted a couple of days later because of left-sided weakness/numbness and personality change and was in for nearly a week. Had CT scan but no MRI until three months later. The MRI showed "high intensity foci" on the left temporal lobe but no-one has explained it yet, but I had another MRI with contrast and then another this week. I should probably add that I'm in the UK so care and treatment is free on the NHS but it means the patient doesn't get to see reports etc. Throughout the year I've suffered intermittent numbness/weakness on the left side of my face, little finger and little toe, loss of balance and spatial awareness, hypersensitivity to noise and light, a feeling like I've had a lobotomy (almost a physical feeling of a cut-off area of my brain), poor short-term memory and difficulty processing things, plus migraines which I never had before. The neurologist said I set too high standards for myself (I was a PhD) but if this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life, I don't honestly see much point because my self-esteem and quality of life are so low now, I can't do anything I used to do and I just about cope with work by working at a lower (non-executive) job with supportive colleagues and writing everything down. Sorry to moan, but it having been a year I was researching prior to seeing the neurologist again and the idea that the symptoms are possibly permanent is too depressing to consider. |
Sorry to hear of your struggles.
Just because the symptoms may be permanent, it does not sentence you to a life of misery. There are many ways you can regain high levels of function. It starts with recognizing your symptoms and dysfunctions and learning the various work-arounds and accommodations needed to go on with life. There are many on this board who have very high levels of function despite their dysfunctions. You can start by identifying your cognitive and other dysfunctions. Then you address each symptom individually. The shotgun approach is overwhelming. If you look at each symptom alone, you can work on developing skills to go on despite that symptoms. For example, I have very little immediate or short term memory in both the visual and auditory areas. I can keep my thoughts organized by typing on the computer. It becomes my memory system. I can read what I just typed and add to it. If I try to talk without preparation, I will repeat myself and sometimes babble about the subject. Tell us about your symptoms and we can help you work past that symptom. My best to you. |
hi bh
hello sorry you are going through this
I know exactly how you feel, I have said before, that alpha personalty's suffer a great deal with loss of function, But to people around them , seems insignificant, (((to them maybe))) at my head injury group , I was saying to one of the staff how upset, I was feeling, that I could not help my youngest prepare for the 11+ tests. it feels like a kick in the guts the reply from this person, was well I could not help my kids ether , this lack of understanding vexes me so much, I intend to leave, the group, there only motivation, is to get people back to work, as what I wonder, ? I think some and I stress some, who work with head injured, are in the job just to boost there own ego,s and finances, as they under achieved, and think we should, settle for there limitations well if they, never had it in the first place, how could they miss it, ? huh sorry to rant but I am way PO ed at the moment and totally understand when you say (I can't do anything I used to do and I just about cope with work by working at a lower (non-executive) job with supportive colleagues and writing everything down.) unfortunately the world is not populated by, supportive colleagues and being force to work at a menial level and in constant head pain, and confusion would kill me is not right ? the politics of the UK has taken a nasty step, of late with, in its scape goating of the disabled you need time to adapt !! on all levels please see link http://www.utahinjurylawblog.com/200...aumatic_1.html I did more damage going back to work and then you get dumpt when deficits become apparent and starts to costs money keep posting and rant and moan all you want because we understand welcome |
First of all, to both Mark and vini, thank you for your replies and sorry for the delay in responding. It was ironic that I'd forgotten to bookmark the site and so have spent days trying to find it again (my browser clears history automatically):Hum:
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I understand what you say about immediate/short-term memory. I rely on writing it down (but if I don't do it straight away it's gone). I used to write a lot, academically and creative for my own enjoyment; I will try to do some journalling. Thank you for inspiring me. |
Quote:
I can't comment on the motives of support workers, I haven't been involved with any, but I guess for some it is just a job (I used to work, a long time ago, in mental health services and how anyone can plod through a care job without being passionate about it is beyond me. I totally identify with your comment about feeling upset at not being able to help your child prepare for tests - I feel so guilty at letting my children down all the time (my perception, not theirs). |
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