Tell me to go to bed.....
 

Somebody please tell me to go to bed....
I am a mess....
Jeff is out of town for the weekend, he just texted me but is not returning my call. I know that there is not any of you guys on line right now...I jsut needed to get this out....
I am so pathetic...why can't I jsut make myself go to bed?
I went out, walked to brewski's and had dinner and 3 beers and walked home in the dark 2 blocks and was afraid so am not doing that again with out jeff. I never walked in my neighborhood in the dark....why can't I be alone with myself....


Jeff just texted me back saying he would call me tomorrow.
I texted him to "tell me to go to bed".
he replyed "go to bed, I love you"
I have a wonderful husband.....tears
maybe I can jsut go to bed now and shower tomorrow....

sigh

Bizi,

What is happening?

Yes. You need to go to bed. Sleep is good.
We will see you later after you wake up.

M.

No Shower
 

Bizi,
Good idea.
Skip the shower. You need the rest.
You can shower tomorrow.
M.

thank you
I will go to bed now....
sigh

Dear Bizi,
I hope that you feel better when you wake up.

Be kind to yourself.
You are doing the best you can.
Remind yourself that you are doing a good job getting through the weekend with him out of town.

Do you have any plans for Saturday or Sunday?

M/

((((((((((((((((((( Bizi!!!!! )))))))))))))))))))))

i am so sorry i was not around for you. :heartthrob: i am glad Mari was here.

my sleep schedule is finally getting sorta normalized i am not up nights like before....

glad you got home safe. i am sorry you felt so frightened, what an awful feeling. you were brave to try it.

i hope you managed to sleep ok and wake up feeling much better. i am glad Jeff texted you that he loved you and that he will call tomorrow (today).

you were being very hard on yourself... we all have our weak spots and fears... darkness, being alone, spiders, rollercoasters... when we grow up we grow out of many things, but not everything... we are human. and, btw, fear of walking alone in a dark neighborhood is quite reasonable, in this day and age.

will be looking for a post from you today

love

~ waves ~

Well I tried to read alittle and turn the lights out at 3.
slept good until 9 when a political survey person woke me up! at least they waited until 9. urrrr! then went back to rest for a couple more hours.
I feel rested this morning, better with a cup of coffee.
Geesh I was a mess last night thank you for your support Mari.
Waves I am glad that you are getting back to a more normal sleeping pattern, you need to do this with school coming up and a new job in the possible future. (((HUGS)))
adressing my fear of the dark. That is an issue that I deal with daily.
We have 2 small watts florescent lights on in the kitchen to lighten up the whole house basically, I am afraid to go into a dark room.
Our bedroom has blinds that let the light come in just a little with the street light on outside.
I have to have the master bathroom door shut when we go to sleep because it creeps me out so it is so dark in there, and it is a fung shwa sort of thing bad vibes come from there. I know that is weird.
anyway....
jeff text me that he had ribs for breakfast! only in texas!
they are playing zydeco at a festival today just west of san antonio, longview I think,(his band is called Joe Hall and the louisiana cane cutters.) they will spend the night there then back to houston sunday night for another gig. He will be home early monday morning, he canceled his students for monday morning which I am glad about.
He is having a ball! He said tht they played a blues jam. (classical, jazz, blues and zydeco!) He is so talented, I am glad that he is having fun!!!! He has been playing with this zydeco band for about a month now, loves it! They will be playing at our festival acadians next month whick will be a big festival so he is excited about that too.
I am going to drink another cup of coffee and figure out what I am going to do today. A quick shower and then go to the gym is high on the list of priorities. It has been 2 weeks since I went to the gym, well I was sick during that time. but I feel well now so there is not excuse to not go and I love going there!
Have a great weekend everyone.
bizi

Dear Bizi,
Sorry if this is a dumb question: can you sleep with all the lights on? That's what I did for years -- slept with every light on in the apt.

I hope you enjoy the gym. The work out will make you feel better the whole rest of the day.

M.

Yes mari, I too have slept with the lights on before....
When we are away from home...usually the hotels we stay in there is light from the curtains when they don't shut completly, have to have the fan on also so it is not so quiet either. When we stay at my inlaws they keep a light on in the house also but it is very dark upstairs where we sleep, I almost always bump into something if I have to go to the bathroom downstairs in the middle of the night, hate that!

Jeff just called! They had a great time last nite! lots of appreciative people at the bar, it was a blues bar so they played one last tune before ending, a blues tune the crowd loved it!
He said he slept a few hours last night on a couch....the fire alarm kept beeping it needed a battery...doesn't sound like he really got any sleep.
They are playing just outside of san antonio at a cajun festival.
They're staying tonight at some ones house again hopefully he will have a bed to sleep in! Then back to houston for a zydeco jam fund raiser.
Houston is a 4 hour drive maybe since they start playing at 7 they will be able to leave earlier and get home not so late.

need that second cup of coffee.
bizi

Bizi,

San Antonio is three+ hours from Houston. He's doing a lot of traveling!
I hope that you get to the gym.
What else do you have planned for today and tomorrow?

M.