Sometimes I'm just sick of myself.
 

I don't mean "sick of it all" in the sense of being suicidal, but in spite of totally knowing it's not true, I want to look in the mirror and say "you suck."

I understand too. I used to be so proud of myself and my career. Sometimes I just feel like I don't know myself anymore thanks to MS. Not saying that you have that thought also though. Hang in there,B2Y, you're a blessing to me! :hug:

You too, huh???:D

"I used to.." comes out of my mouth too often. My life is clearly defined as Before and After MS.

Same thing Kicker said. Everything to me now is b4 and after! Some days I just hate the new "me"

Another person heard from -- I want my old life back!!! I've turned into someone I don't like -- my ears are "shocked" by the language sometimes. Like B2U said, "I'm not suicidal", but it's so darn frustrating trying to do anything. Stiff, spasms, pain, fatigue.....it's getting more difficult keeping up appearances and just want to lie down and let somebody else take care of me. The thought of living this way, or worse, for the rest of my life, is sooo depressing. Lately, in this beautiful fall season, all I'd really like to do is take a WALK down a dirt road here in the mountains.....so many memories.....too many times crying/screaming. The enjoyment of life is gone which is really sad.:(

Sorry to be so depressing, but that's the way it is after all these years.

There are a lot of things I miss about the "pre-MS" me. I don't know what I miss more......actually doing the things I used to do but cannot anymore or just being able to choose to do (or not do) the things I used to. Did that make sense? :confused: