Grief
 

Grief has a life of its own. It surfaces according to its own schedule. If we are too busy for grief, if we deny it, we cut ourselves off from our emotions and we become smaller. Our grief gets small too - tighter, more compact, more intense, more explosive. It's best not to get too busy for grief. It's best to be open and expansive and available for all our feelings, including our grief. They won't take up our whole lives or all of our time and there won't be more pain than we can bear. If we give our feelings time and space to express themselves, there will also be time and space enough for us to go on with the rest of our lives.

Friends for Survival Newsletter, June 1994

And I couldn't help but think of Jayco when I read this...

Excessive mourning is nonproductive, someone remarks. A social inconvenience, downright inconsiderate, in the public eye. Life, according to my Orientalist friend, is a passage, a corridor, and she bid me to rid myself of morbid brooding.

Bulls*h*i*t*! I'm angry.

-Toby Talbot


"No one wants to be inconsiderate of others, but right now it's more important that we not be inconsiderate of ourselves. We have been wounded. We need care. We need care from others, and we need care from ourselves. No one but we can know which is the best way to express our grief. And if we're angry - and it's legitimate to be angry at this blow that has been dealt us - we need to express our anger.

So if we make other people uncomfortable, or if we seem to be "more upset" than they think we should be - that's their problem. It's time for us to move on to other friends who are more understanding.

I will not be intimidated by the opinions of others on how I should be feeling. I am inside my head and heart, and I know.

Healing After Loss Martha Whitmore Hickman


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Wanting to leave Jayco a hug and a reminder that she isn't alone. :grouphug:

To Alffe
 

Hear hear!!

(I want to say 'damned straight' but that wouldn't be polite, so I won't. )

We all grieve in our own way in our own time.

Thank you ((Ms. Alffe)) for thinking of ((Jayco)) today. Bless her heart. :hug: