Ways you cope
 

Thought we could share ways of coping to help each other get thru sad times.

I know Christmas time is very rough for me...

A few ways that have helped me is our organisation in Danny's memory
Visiting and decorating his grave site.
Still have his pictures on my wall

Even tho he is gone he is and always will be MY son

Hugs

My dad's birthday is coming up in October. I find myself obssessing about it, because I actually forgot my mom's birthday. My sisters both said that it was because we were moving on, but I don't want to move on. KWIM? I just felt bad for not honoring her on her day.

Both of my parents were cremated and are interred at our church in the Chapel of Angels. I'm so happy when we moved here that I could visit them more than once a year.

((((Julie))))
If you ever need to chat please just yell.
I am glad you are now close enough to visit more...

I feel that is a little help in our sorrow

hugs

Losing is hard~
 

Hi,
I lost my husband in July of this year. I miss him a lot. He meant everything to me and even more now that he isn't here. He had cancer and wasn't suppose to go in three months, so they told us. He first had Brain surgery which came out fine. Then we found out the lung cancer had spread in the spine. In the meantime he took Chemo and Radiation. It was suppose to shrunk the cancer. He just got worse until he decided not to go ahead with the treatments. We got Hospice to come in and they were a God send to the both of us. They stayed with us to the end and even yet they see me for grief couseling.

I am thinking that God may be guiding me into the direction of helping with the dying patients. I strongly believe in what they stand for, and already I have helpped with money and plan to leave them what I can. There is no call higher than to serve the Lord with all our heart and soul. There is no higher calling than that. I got an e-mail this evening and it too is telling me to be ready to do God's work.

I am just 16 days post-op from back surgery and I am needing another surgery in Oct that is minor compared to the other. I will keep praying about this till I get an answer. I believe God healed me quick so that I can help others.
Fancylady

Hi Fancy
I am sorry for your loss. I understand how hard this is for you...


BIG HUGS

Hi again, need some advice~
 

It's been a sad day for me today. My furnace has quit working worse yet is the thought that my husband knew how to fix it. I have one I can call on but he isn't answering his phone. I never can get them when I really need them. It's been a rainy dark & gloomy day for me.

I don't feel good and everytime I get up I'm in pain. It's my side where I am to have surgery in 12 days. I really don't want to do it for this to will lay me up even longer. I am selling our country home and moving to town hopefully to better living conitions. I'll have electric heat there plus one gas heater in the living area. I can't move till near the end of the month tho for that is when the closing is.

Things aren't the same without my husband. Our son isn't around here and what family I got, I can't count on them much either. His brother don't care to help me with anything and he lives the closest. He was so close to my husband & when he found out he was dying he just pulled back. He has never
offered to help with nothing around here. They don't call me or nothing.

I too dread Christmas. I feel so all alone. We don't exchange with others, so it will be different.They have big families that come home. If I can I might have them come over here.I will have one big room I could serve food in maybe that is my roll in life now, to make others happy. If I can just get over these two surgeries by then, I don't mind to cook.

It seems I am finding it hard just where I fit into this family. It's my husbands and they are odd to say the least. I was used to a small family setting at Christmas & my husbands family was large and don't buy much, just get together. That is fine with me. I hope I am not moving to soon tho. I was reading a person shouldn't make a move for 6 months. It will be only 3 mos. for me. The memories I can take with me tho. here they are ever to present in this house. is there anyway I could help myself out of this gloom? If I felt better things would be different.
Hugs,
Fancy:)

Have you tried journaling? I did that when our son died and then forgot about it....came across it yesterday and was really suprised at some of the things I'd written.

When our 8 yr.old grandson died I wrote him a letter that first Christmas and told him how much we missed him. His mom put it in his stocking. It's hard to look at those empty dinning chairs.

If his family doesn't want to come, have a dinner party for church friends...people who would also be alone. Hugs.

Just wanting to send all of you ((((HUGS)))) Although sometimes words may fail, there is always room in my heart to lift you up in prayer.

Christmas is the hardest for me seeing we lost Danny the day after in 2001...
I still have his pictures hung on my wall and we visit the cemetary at least once a week...used to be once a day but we have back off a bit.

BIG HUGS to all

Christmas is a rough one because kids love it so much...Santa, the tree.
All those holidays, birthdays, anniversary of their deaths are so difficult.

It gets better with time..we never forget them but we are able to talk about them without sobbing, given enough time.

Hugs for everyone who needs one...and that's all of us!