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Traveling a problem....memory....

Yesterday we traveled over 230 miles round trip to celebrate the Olhipie's Mom's 80th birthday. The travel was hard on him. He slept most of the way down. We went out to dinner their children...grandchildren and great grandchildren.

The noise in the restaurant was making him so confused. He ate well but was confused the whole time. I needed to get him out of the noise and left a little early.

This morning he has very little memory of the visit...which is sad. His children always wants to make arrangements for a visit, however the visit is usually not at our home. I try to tell them what it does to him but they just feel that we are both retired and have all the time in the world so we should travel to them...I hate it!!

He only has three children with spouse and grand children but we have a heck of a time getting all of them together at once. They told us that this year was our year for Thanksgiving...however I won't leave my Mom who lives with us to go anywhere for Thanksgiving. They wanted us to go to his daughters home...not ours...

Usually a week after the visit he doesn't remember very little of what we did. Already he has lost most of what we did yesterday. Grrrr....dang kids!!

I wish they could just once see what a travel of any kind does to him...:(

Sorry about the vent...just had to do it....

Vent away.

We all need to be able to vent.

I suggest/hope that you just stay home with the important people in your life, and make any kind of Thanksgiving dinner possible. The goal should be just to be with one another, even if it is ovr a dinner comprised of BP&J, milk and coffee.

Most people do not understand what it is like to be in your shoes, or DH's shoes. They never will.

Do what is best for you.

-Vic

How are things today, Tami?

It's so hard to try and explain to others that it's just easier and more relaxing just to stay home. And the ones it seems should be the most understanding are usually the ones who aren't. :rolleyes:

You are right Vic...I will be cooking for my sweetheart and for my Mom...will be great!

Kitty you hit the nail on the head...those who should understand...(his children) don't want to understand. He is doing a lot better:hug:

Pleased he's a bit better now he's home Tamiloo.
Sending big hugs for you and your hunny. :grouphug:

Tami,
I hate the big to do around the holidays. I rather stay home and not get into visiting at all. I used to do the BIG dinners, inviting both sides of the families. It got to be too much a long, long, time ago.

Thanksgiving is not a religious holiday, it is a day to give thanks for what we have, and pray for those who don't have much. We can give our thanks at home, and as Vic said, with BB & J sandwiches if we want.

Christmas is very overwhelming, IMO. That is a religious holiday for me, not the commercialism that they make it. Same with Hanukkah for others.

I love my family and miss them, but when I can't do something I have to say no. They may not understand but they are young and able to run around. I had those days.

Like you and your dear Olhipie, it is time to relax and enjoy life, not make it harder just because the kids or others family members want it their way.

I'm glad Olhpie is doing better. Big hugs to both of you. :grouphug:

Thanks Anne ((((HUGS))))

Lady...you hit the nail on the head...they are young and have their health....we will be staying here and having a wonderful time with my Mom, who lives with us. I love to cook and so does the Olhipie love me to cook...so their will be plenty to eat!

Thanks you all for your love!!:grouphug:

It would be nice if they would come and join you at your home and make TG dinner for you..:hug:

I am so glad that my DD and DSSs don't demand a big celebration, anymore. They had their fill of them when they were growing up.:eek: Fun but very stressful and hectic.

DD has a bunch of kids, so she likes to have a family TG at home. I choose to stay home and wait for leftovers.:D

Christmas day they all come here for the celebration. I love it this way....no stress and still lots of fun.

No one needs to apologize the need to vent here. I have done it many times and felt so much better for doing it. My husband loves to do the karoake scene and he is very good at it. But they are all at bars, some of them very small. So the sound system just reverberates all through the room, the noise is terrible and it is so smoke filled. I am just exhousted the next day.