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-   -   Wife of a husband with a TBI injury (https://www.neurotalk.org/new-member-introductions/139551-wife-husband-tbi-injury.html)

SandraLinNC 11-29-2010 10:37 AM

Wife of a husband with a TBI injury
 
Looking to meet friends who are pretty much in the same situation as I am. Husband suffered a fall over the summer and is now suffering from TBI. He is high functioning but definitely not the same man I married. We barely get along anymore and are steps away from a divorce. Looking for others input as well as their experiences and techniques of coping.:( Between the depression, violent outburst, manipulation, lying about and abusing money I don't know if me and the kids should go or stay!

Abbie 11-29-2010 02:42 PM

Hello and Welcome!
 
Hello Sandra and WELCOME to Neurotalk!!

You've found a wonderful place with very caring people!!

I'm very sorry to hear what has happened to your family. :hug:

Here are a few links that you may find helpful.

Traumatic Brain Injury & Post Concussion Syndrome:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum92.html

General Mental Health and Emotional Support:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum85.html

Caregivers Support:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum56.html

:)
Abbie

Darlene 11-30-2010 02:27 AM

Great to have you here!
 

Hello and welcome to NeuroTalk. Happy to see you have come to be with us. Just let us know if we can be of any help.

There are great number of fellow members here to assist as possible. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Again welcome, looking forward to seeing you around.

Darlene :hug:

MelodyL 11-30-2010 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SandraLinNC (Post 720662)
Looking to meet friends who are pretty much in the same situation as I am. Husband suffered a fall over the summer and is now suffering from TBI. He is high functioning but definitely not the same man I married. We barely get along anymore and are steps away from a divorce. Looking for others input as well as their experiences and techniques of coping.:( Between the depression, violent outburst, manipulation, lying about and abusing money I don't know if me and the kids should go or stay!

Hi Hon:

I am not walking in your shoes. Actually the only people who can share their experience is of course others who are married to spouses with TBI's.

You have been given the link to the correct forum.

You can go there, post your story, and listen to what others have to say.

Will that help you make a decision to stay in your marriage?

Don't think so. Because you will hear some people say "well, you took vows for better or for worse", you have to stick with him, etc. etc.etc.

The bottom line is.

What is in the best interests of your children?

You mention violent outbursts, lying, manipulation, etc.

All this seems to have happened after his injury right?

Is he on the meds he needs to be on? Does he indeed take them on schedule?

There are a lot of questions you need to ask yourself before you obviously make any life altering decisions. The people on the TBI thread can listen, and advise you, but ultimately it's up to you.

I will give you one unsolicited piece of advice.

If you or your children are in any danger, then you really do know what you have to do.

Just my honest opinion.

Keep posting on that forum, and see what the others say.

I am praying for you.

Melody

smendoza 03-24-2011 02:39 PM

Spouse with TBI
 
I am in the same boat. I am very confused at the moment and would love to share experiences with you. My husband suffered his in a motorcycle accident 3 years ago. i a still trying to navigate this forum so forgive my ignorance to the board. I am presently in the process of a divorce which I have been forced into by his behaviors. Never before the accident would he have done such a thing but now he is living his life over of a 17 - 25 year old man. We have been married for 24 years and he is 55 years old with 3 grown children. we were always very close and he has not spoken to our oldest son since Christmas. I am sad, lonely and so confused. I am here for you if you ever need to talk. - suzie -

loyal 04-10-2012 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smendoza (Post 755988)
I am in the same boat. I am very confused at the moment and would love to share experiences with you. My husband suffered his in a motorcycle accident 3 years ago. i a still trying to navigate this forum so forgive my ignorance to the board. I am presently in the process of a divorce which I have been forced into by his behaviors. Never before the accident would he have done such a thing but now he is living his life over of a 17 - 25 year old man. We have been married for 24 years and he is 55 years old with 3 grown children. we were always very close and he has not spoken to our oldest son since Christmas. I am sad, lonely and so confused. I am here for you if you ever need to talk. - suzie -

I can so connect with all you are going through. I have spent the last 12 months striving to get through and find help for my husband after his accident but nothing has worked if anything I have driven him further away. He is not the same person he has no insight into the changes to his behaviour, emotions & personality. He wants to live the single life after 27 years of marriage he has totally disconnect with me & does not seem to have feelings any more. His has short term memory problems. I cant believe I found a site that other people are going through these tragic heart breaking journey's that change lives & relationships forever.

Alffe 04-10-2012 08:56 AM

Hi Loyal and welcome to NeuroTalk. This is a very old thread that started in Nov of 2010. Here is the link to our TBI forum. If you click on it you will be there. http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum92.html

You'll find a lot of support there. I'm glad you have joined us. :grouphug:

Dmom3005 04-10-2012 09:59 PM

Welcome to all three of you. That are in need of friendship and someone that
understands.

I am the one with the TBI symptoms. I have had quite a few incidents of
this. Mine haven't been as serious as some you are mentioning.

I have been slowly recovering. Its a long hard road.

When there is true brain damage involved, you need to have lots of extra
helps. And it takes a special kind of person to stay and help this kind of
person.

So good luck, and remember we are here.

I'm Donna, and I go into the TBI room, but you are all welcome to private
message me also.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

Lightrail11 04-11-2012 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SandraLinNC (Post 720662)
Looking to meet friends who are pretty much in the same situation as I am. Husband suffered a fall over the summer and is now suffering from TBI. He is high functioning but definitely not the same man I married. We barely get along anymore and are steps away from a divorce. Looking for others input as well as their experiences and techniques of coping.:( Between the depression, violent outburst, manipulation, lying about and abusing money I don't know if me and the kids should go or stay!

Hi Sandra and welcome. I'm on the other side (the husband with the TBI).

Every brain injury is different, as are the post injury affects. Post traumatic depression is quite common, but the outbursts and irresponsibility with money would seem to suggest he would benefit from some testing and possibly additional psychiatric counseling, especially if his moods and behavior are dramatically different from his premorbid condition. Damage to the pre-frontal cortex could be responsible for these conditions but he should be evaluated.

Phineas Gage, a 19 century railroad worker is probably the most frequently given example of dramatic behavioral change due to a TBI.
Sorry to hear about his condition. Best to both of you on this journey.

:hug:

Stacyrose 03-25-2013 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SandraLinNC (Post 720662)
Looking to meet friends who are pretty much in the same situation as I am. Husband suffered a fall over the summer and is now suffering from TBI. He is high functioning but definitely not the same man I married. We barely get along anymore and are steps away from a divorce. Looking for others input as well as their experiences and techniques of coping.:( Between the depression, violent outburst, manipulation, lying about and abusing money I don't know if me and the kids should go or stay!

I see this post is about a years old. If you are still looking for someone in the same boat I unfortunately am. My husband was in a dirt bike accident in July and now suffers from a TBI. Well it's been a year so hopefully things are better for you.


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